


And They Fell

by CaptainBushel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Female Character, Blood, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Magic, No Smut, Pre-Thor (2011), Rated For Violence, Slow Burn, Violence, author likes slowly bending canon until they can use it, if you're worried about that, loki is a little shit, loki is a snarky asshole at times, loki isnt straight. forget if i mention that though., loki's genderfluidity isn't the main focus of this story, not the slowest slow burn but pretty damn slow, oh and there's wings, pretending to not speak a language, rated for language, reader has wings, there is a good deal of original content here, thor is exasperated at these idiots, useless bisexuals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 74,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14729946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainBushel/pseuds/CaptainBushel
Summary: Nobody knew why the auroras had started.Loki had watched them dance across the sky in all their marvelous cool colors, bathing his face with ever-shifting light as he stood in his sleeping robes. He did not worry about their origin or what they would bring, instead choosing to bask in their glory.The next morning, a girl fell from the sky into the hills, half dead and screaming in a language nobody understood.(or, a story of two young idiots who are clumsy in matters of the heart.)(will update every wednesday)





	1. prologue, or an accidental goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this fic has been labor of love that's taken around 7 months for this draft (originally, i wrote a version of this that was 100k and showed no sign of stopping), and i am so, so happy that i can finally post this. 
> 
> the reader character in this technically speaking is an OC of mine, but i do my very best to avoid using her name. this chapter is the only time it appears. also, if you're worried about this being dominated by OCs, they stay in the background a lot of the time until we get closer to the end. (and i promise it gets better as we go)

Nobody knew why the auroras had started. 

During the middle of the night, the sky had begun pulsing with the lights, brilliant blues, greens, and purples lighting up the city and dancing across the palace. An old, mildly crazed astronomer wouldn’t stop telling “the angels are coming to save us” to everyone she crossed paths with. Some wondered if the woman was right in her assumption; after all, the legends did tell of auroras preceding something, but historians constantly argued over whether the translation for that something was “prosperity” or “destruction”. Most ignored the auroras; nobody knew how to predict what the sky would do except for Heimdall. 

Heimdall fully knew what was coming, but as nobody asked his opinion, he did not tell the others. He had no worries.

Loki had watched them dance across the sky in all their marvellous cool colors, bathing his face with ever-shifting light as he stood in his sleeping robes. He did not worry about their origin or what they would bring, instead choosing to bask in their glory. He trusted in his ability and the strength of Asgard’s army to defeat whatever might come and siege them should that occur. 

Odin, on the other hand, paced recklessly in his room and glanced back up at the lights occasionally in worry. He remembered the auroras from when he was a young boy, but he didn’t remember what they brought. Eventually, he got back into bed. Whether the auroras brought peace or danger, he needed to be prepared. So prepared he would be.

-

“I can’t believe you’re going to be gone for two weeks,” Eleanor whined as she rolled over on her dormitory bed. The springs creaked underneath her, filling the momentary silence in the room.

“Look, El, I deserve the break, alright?” Maggie teased gently as she zipped her suitcase shut before slipping a messenger bag over her shoulder with her more treasured items. Making sure the strap sat neatly between her magpie wings, she nervously rocked back and forth on her bare feet as she looked over at Eleanor. 

“Get over here and give me a hug. You’re giving me those eyes,” Eleanor said as she walked towards her friend with a light sigh. She ran into Eleanor’s arms and was quickly lifted into the air, a ridiculously easy feat with the height difference between the two of them. “Stay safe, alright? Would hate for my roomie to disappear suddenly.” She laughed lightly as Eleanor set her down before ruffling her hair playfully. 

“I’ll be back in two weeks, cross my heart and swear on the Watcher, alright? I’ll be fine, El.” Eleanor smiled, and Maggie pressed herself onto her tiptoes before pressing a quick kiss to Eleanor’s brown, freckle-spotted cheek. “There. Now, I have to go.” She quickly grabbed her luggage and went out the door rapidly, shutting it gently behind her.

She quietly wondered to herself if the kiss on Eleanor’s cheek had been too much. She knew that Eleanor still had some lingering emotions after their sadly necessary split, and she tried her best to avoid the same affectionate gestures she had given Eleanor beforehand. It wasn’t easy; she constantly needed touch to reassure her worries. Her mind drifted as she tagged her luggage and shoved it through the tunnel for processing and transportation. The portals were incredibly useful for things like packages and the such, simply needing the correct labeling to sorted and semi-instantly transported to other areas of Vindrheim. 

Her mind was still wandering as she made her way out of the academy, a sudden gust of wind pushing her hair back as the sun gently warmed her skin. The dirt was chilly as she flexed her bare feet with a content sigh, gazing up towards the sky as she bent her knees and rocked back and forth. Spreading her wings, she leapt upwards and began beating her wings furiously, forcing herself up into the air. She laughed as she stabilized in her flight, flapping her wings as she soared over the trees and the academy turned into a speck in the distance.

She had full plans to enjoy herself over her two week vacation. It was currently the spring festival around Vindrheim, and the academy was required to give every student a month off of classes and two weeks outside of the academy. Some of the other students had tried charming their papers to change their accepted departure and return dates to lengthen their time away, but she hadn’t bothered. Illusion wasn’t her branch of magic; she was in the middle of a course on level five advanced sigil casting, and those were primarily used for healing or assistance of others through wards.

She was utterly caught up in her own head. She couldn’t stop thinking about actually taking a couple of weeks off for herself, taking a break from her school work and studies at the academy. She planned to just relax and ignore school for the next two weeks. 

As it was, fate so often liked to have different plans for life. 

In her absent-mindedness, she managed to forget about the utter minefield of old, discarded portals that populated the area. Squawking in surprise, she ducked under a visible bend in space before cackling with triumph and raising both of her middle fingers towards the old portal. However, in her moment of brashness, she was pulled into a different portal altogether. 

“ELEANOR!” She screamed as she fell through backwards, the portal enveloping her in a soft blanket of suffocating darkness. “Eleanor,” she whimpered as she clutched her messenger bag close to her chest as if it was her only chance at life in this sea devoid of any light at all.

Time passed, and then more time. It dragged by painfully slowly as she drifted through the darkness. At some point, she didn't know exactly when, her eyes found it soothing. She couldn’t feel much; her sense of touch was limited to the feeling of her tank top and shorts against her skin and the smooth leather of her messenger bag gripped tightly in her hands. She was uncertain if the time was hours or days, but she hated every moment of it. There was nothing, and it made her flesh crawl. 

She shivered, and waited for it to end.


	2. she fell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rather unfortunate crash landing with a fortunate result due to the appearance of a certain royal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we go, starting with the actual story! we won't pick up the pace for a while yet, so stay tuned!

There was something in the sky, and it was descending at a rather alarming pace.

The children looked up and watched as the figure fell. If they strained their young ears, they could just barely hear the screaming and crying from the figure as she made a harsh descent. Just as quickly as the figure was there, she had disappeared from the sky and a large plume of dirt was flying into the air out in the hills, filling the air with dust and causing some of the people among the streets to cough.

Luckily for her broken and battered body and mind, someone was out in the hills by chance.

Thor brought his horse to a halt at the base of the hill before leaping off of his horse and quickly climbing the hill. He slid into the small crater created by the girl’s body and carefully approached her tiny form. Her chest was heaving, blood leaking from the side of her mouth as she clutched her messenger bag tightly. She was gasping for air, eyelids fluttering as her head dropped to the side. Everything was too much for her, from the dirt underneath her hands to the smell of dust in the air. Compared to the black nothing of the portal, she felt utterly overwhelmed by merely the sound of her own breathing.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she murmured in a language that Thor could not for the life of him understand. “ _Eleanor, Eleanor_ ,” she called out, her voice full of pain. Before he could take notice of the wings tucked underneath her body, they retract into her back on instinct. Thor was left none the wiser.

“My lady,” he said loudly as he picked her up. She screamed in agony at his touch along her battered and bruised back, body spasming with pain as she started sobbing. Blood dribbled from the side of her mouth as tears rolled down her face, and Thor grimaced in sympathy. She continued screaming and crying as he carried her out of the crater and slid down the side of the hill. His horse didn’t fight him as he placed her on its back, but she struggled and whimpered and babbled away in her language. 

She passed out on the way back to the palace. Blood continued to drip steadily from her mouth, mixing with the tears that still poured across her cheeks. Thor kept a modest arm around her waist to prevent her from slumping forward, and he could feel her ribs bending and crackling in a highly revolting manner, her chest moving inwards slightly from the pressure he had lightly applied to the numerous fractures along the bone. His horse was running at a gallop as he rushed her back to the stables. 

“Someone help me!” He bellowed, and soon the prince had three stable hands helping him carry the girl. Thor carried her bag, following the group carrying her into the palace and down the hallways. They started making their way to the medical wing, but they were soon intercepted. 

“Thor, what’s going on?” Frigga rushed towards Thor, looking at the stranger as she was roughly carried down the hallway by the stable hands. “What happened to that poor girl?”

“Hello, Mother. She’s what fell from the sky, judging by the crater I found around her. She doesn’t speak Alltongue, I’m afraid. I figured I should bring her in for medical assistance,” he said brightly. Frigga looked at the girl before quickly ushering on the three people carrying her. 

“Follow her to the medical wing and drop off her bag.” Thor nodded, and moved to follow the group. “And Thor?” she called after him and he turned around to face his mother, tilting his head to the side. “I don’t suppose you know where your brother is?” Thor laughed, shrugging lightly as Frigga nervously pressed her hands together.

“He’s in the library as he always is, Mother. I’m half convinced he’s trying to become one with the shelves.” With that, Thor ran after the people carrying the girl. Frigga sighed, shaking her head at the energy her older son constantly brimmed with. She began to briskly walk down the hallways until she reaches the grand double doors of the library that reached towards the ceiling, almost making their goal even with the palace’s tall ceilings. Pushing one open and slipping inside, she paused and peered around to see if her younger son was anywhere particularly obvious. He, predictably but disappointingly, wasn’t, and she sighed heavily before walking directly towards his favorite hideaway among the shelves, her shoes softly clicking against the stone tiling of the floor and making the sound echo slightly. 

She wove her way among the shelves, checking the gaps in between books and the spaces where the shelves didn’t quite meet properly. The day Loki had learned how to expand an area without affecting the objects around him, it became one of his more frequently used spells, and she always had to check spaces that would normally be far too small. When she reached the couch where he could often be found surrounded by stacks of books, she sighed in annoyance. He was not there, quite predictably if she was being perfectly honest. It just so happened that whenever Frigga needed to find her younger son, he had a sudden talent of disappearing. She stared at the bookshelves as if for guidance, and she tilted her head to the side as she looked closer. The books were arranged ever so carefully, gaps spaced ever so perfectly for the legs and arms of the younger prince. She sighed, tilting her head back and looking up.

“Loki.” The prince’s head peered over the top of the shelf, dozens of feet in the air. He looked perfectly at home up there, seeming quite like a content hawk that had already eaten its fill but would not be against another course. He snapped his book shut, smiling down at Frigga in a rather kind manner.

“Hello, Mother.” She raised her eyebrows and he understood the unspoken message and the thinly veiled command, appearing on the ground in front of her in flash. Loki tilted his head to the side questioningly. “Is there something you need?”

“I’m afraid so. Please, walk with me.” With a small gesture of his hands, the book in his grasp disappeared back to its proper place among the shelves and he comfortably laced his fingers together behind his back.The pair began walking, making their way towards the door of the library at a brisk pace and soon Frigga was pushing open the door and leading Loki into the hallway. “Your brother found a woman out in the hills. It’s thought she’s what fell from the sky today. She can’t speak Alltongue.” Loki slowly nodded, glancing over at his mother questioningly. “I’m afraid I can’t heal the extent of her injuries alone.” He came to a dead stop in the middle of the hallway, eyebrows rising disbelievingly. 

“You can’t seriously expect me to do healing work.” Frigga stopped and turned to look at her son, who had stopped a few feet behind her. “We both know that has never been my strong suit.”

“And we also both know that the only way you’ll improve is through practice.” Loki stared his mother in the eyes for a long moment before sighing and stepping closer to Frigga, nodding reluctantly. “Thank you, Loki.” He chuckled softly as they walked together, strides long and confident.

“Only for you, Mother.” They walked in a comfortable silence. There was no awkward cloud hanging between the mother and son, only a sort of sense of connection that didn’t need to be voiced with words. The pair walked together to the medical wing and Frigga pushed open the door. Thor waved them over, a grin on his face as they walked over.

“Mother! She has not woken again, but she is still breathing. Hello, Loki.” The trickster merely gave a quick smile to Thor before looking down at the woman. There was still a smear of blood at the corner of her mouth, and she looked deathly pale. Combined with the blood and tears caking her neck along with the dirt smeared across her entire body and clothing, she looked like a freshly dug up corpse buried only a few days prior.

“Are you sure this isn’t a child? She’s incredibly tiny,” Loki commented and Frigga’s gaze jumped towards him as she frowned in a disapproving manner. “My apologies, Mother, but she is rather petite.” 

“Not every realm has the same height that we possess, Loki. I’d advise you never bring up how petite she is in front of her waking body.” Frigga gave him a final warning glare before turning to the nurse nervously standing next to Thor. “How bad is her condition?” The nurse took a deep breath, kneading her palms nervously.

“She’s shattered the majority of the bones along her back, arms and legs, and her ribs have broken, although less so than her other bones. We think she suffered some amount of internal trauma, although we aren’t certain exactly how much. She’s not in good shape, but we think with proper care she could make a close to full recovery.” Frigga nodded, making a small hand gesture to signal to the nurse she was dismissed for the moment. As the nurse hurries away, Frigga turned to Thor.

 

“Thank you, Thor. Where did you put her bag?” Thor passed the satchel to his mother and she gave him a motherly kiss on the cheek in return. “Thank you. Now, if you could leave, Loki and I have business to attend to.” Thor nodded and walked out, cape billowing behind him as Frigga shook her head with a heavy sigh. “Your brother acts perhaps a bit too much before he thinks.” Loki looked at his mother, raising an eyebrow.

“Any one of his recent actions in particular making you restate this? Or did you only just realize he’d rather punch his way out of every situation?” Frigga glared at Loki, and he cleared his throat. She raised an eyebrow and he calmly looked at the wall with a sharp exhale as he gently rubbed his fingers. “Right. Anyways, the girl.” Frigga nodded, expression softening as she looked down at the recently fallen girl. 

“Do you want to take the first round of healing her, or should I?” Loki looked down at the petite girl, so corpse-like in nature, and grimaced in what could be read as disgust or other similar emotions. “If you go first, I do believe I could convince Thor to not bother you about joining him and his friends for training for the months after she makes her recovery.” Loki snapped to attention, glancing over at his mother with a face almost resembling something hopeful.

“I believe the first shift of healing calls to my soul, mother. I do believe I should take this burden upon myself,” he said with a mocking sincerity that made his mother laugh. Frigga put a hand on Loki’s shoulder and gave it a delicate squeeze as she passed him the beaten leather satchel that had arrived with the mysterious, seemingly lifeless girl.

“If she wakes, have one of the nurses call for me,” Frigga said as she began to leave the medical wing. He smirked, calling after her jokingly. 

“I think I’ll become a cleric!” Frigga’s laughter filled the room even as she left. “It might just be my calling!” Once his mother’s laughter had faded, he pulled a chair close with a wave of his hand and sat down with a sigh, dropping the girl’s bag onto the floor unceremoniously. He glanced at the almost corpse, summoning a book and carefully positioning his hand by her as it began to glow green. He flicked open his book with a sharp inhale, settling into his chair as his magic slowly started to put the girl together again. “I’ll be perfectly honest with you, I’d rather be anywhere but here.”

He glanced down at her bag, a wave of curiosity hitting him as he stared at the battered leather. He summoned a bookmark and marked his place in his book, setting it to the side as his hand came to rest on the edge of the bed that nearly swallowed the girl. He pulled the satchel into his lap and opened the flap, looking at the girl’s sleeping body. 

“Let’s see if there’s anything in here to tell us who you are, shall we?” Loki’s occupied hand continued to glow green as he healed the girl, and his free hand dug into the bag. The first thing he pulled out of the satchel was a small bracelet made of painted wooden beads. He carefully examined the strung together wooden orbs in dark shades of green, blue, and black, listening to the beads click against each other. “Jewelry, and cheap at that. So I doubt you’re very high class.” 

Clicking his tongue, he set the bracelet in his lap and reached back into the bag with a bored sigh. So far, a bad start. Running his fingers along the edge of the next back, he was intrigued. Pulling it out, his eyebrows rose when he discovered that the item was a sheathed dagger. The sheath was elaborately painted, telling a very different story than the cheap wooden bracelet. He pulled the dagger out and nodded appreciatively as he tossed it and deftly caught it. It was well made, and the intricately carved handle never for one moment threw it off balance. He briefly considered pocketing the weapon, but he knew that his mother would likely call off their deal if he did. So, he carefully sheathed it and left it on his lap. 

The third thing he pulled out was a small painting, about the size of his hand. It was peaceful, and fairly well done, but something about it made him frown. Something about the scene felt off, as if life was happening as it usually did but it was not quite in the right spot. He examined the small scene carefully, and he finally pinned it down. There was a girl, sleeping underneath a tree next to a riverbank. Where the scene went wrong was that the girl had a set of wings carefully folded onto her back, giving the picture the feel of unreality. He shook his head and carefully began packing the items back into the bag. However, when he dropped the painting back in, something rustled. 

Tilting his head to the side, he ever so carefully fished out a piece of folded paper from the bottom of the bag. He furrowed his brow and carefully unfolded it, before huffing in disappointment. It was written in a language he couldn’t understand, and with how he was focusing his magical energy into rebuilding her bones he couldn’t bother to translate the symbols. He stuffed the paper into his outfit, keeping it safe for a later date. He was curious about this girl, even if she was an annoyance in his life.


	3. a good deal of silence and contemplation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't really have anything to say today, i'm in the middle of finals week at the moment. there's a good deal of metaphor here if i remember correctly. enjoy!

He spent an entire day sitting by the side of the half-alive girl, healing her diligently as his mother had instructed him to and draining his magic. 

He was half asleep by the time the sun rose, but he kept healing until it was well into morning. He had been reading by her side all through the night, never stopping the flow of his magic into her fragile body. If he was able to choose, he would never in a thousand years to choose to spend a night like this ever again. But he knew he would have to soon when his mother tired from healing the girl on her upcoming shift. For now, he was content to merely be relieved of his duties by the arrival of his mother. As he saw Frigga walk through the door, his hand stopped glowing and dropped to his side with a sigh of relief. His mother came to stand beside him and placed a soft hand on his shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze that sent a wave of energizing, warm magic through his body. 

“Did anything happen during the night?” Loki shook his head, eyes focused on the girl before him. Even as she slept, her face was contorted with pain. Frigga clicked her tongue gently, and she saw the soft flutter of her son’s eyelids as he fought the temptation to fall into sleep. She knew from the beginning this would be draining for him, due to his inexperience with healing magic. She also knew he had a deep well, and while he would quickly tire, it would not signal a full drainage of his magic but merely a roadblock that could be replenished. She sighed and briefly smoothed Loki’s hair before patting his shoulder. “Go. Sleep, eat, read, take a break. I’ll send one of the nurses for you when I tire.”

“Thank you, Mother.” Loki stood and gave his mother a tired smile before moving towards the door of the medical wing, pulling open the door and beginning to move down the hallway. He was only managing to walk by putting one foot in front of the other, maintaining his momentum so he didn’t merely lean up against one of the many columns in the hallways and nap upright like a horse in a stable. His face was blunt and emotionless, and he walked quickly in his attempt to get to his room as fast as possible. A group of ladies turned and curtsied as he stormed past, fear written across their faces as they murmured “Prince Loki” in an attempt to avoid incurring his wrath. As far as they could tell, he might as well have been on the warpath and out for whoever’s blood he could easily get. They did not rise until he was far from them, and then they let out a breath they had all been collectively holding and continued about their business.

When he did reach his room, he scared the heart out of a poor maid who almost screamed as he huffed and pointed to the door wordlessly. She merely stood there, cowering in a perfectly executed curtsy and avoiding eye contact with Loki. “Get out,” he growled and the maid took off as quickly as she could, gathering up all of her supplies and half running from the room. He shut the door and locked it, closing his shades and the doors to his balcony with a sharp exhale as they rattled in their frames. He felt a wave of regret for frightening the poor maid, and took a deep breath. He could apologize later if he saw the maid again. Sighing, he rubbed his face tiredly and began slowly taking off his clothing. He felt slightly better sitting in the dark alone as silence surrounded him. He stripped until he was down to his sleeping pants, and when he moved to place his robes onto a chair, the piece of paper fluttered out of his discarded clothing. 

He picked it up from the floor, lethargically turning it over in his hands. He unfolded it once more and groaned in frustration as he remembered that he couldn’t read the letter. The worst part was, since he had never seen this language in his life, he couldn’t cast a translation spell over the paper and simply read it on his own terms. It was strange that it was outside of the possibilities of Alltongue, considering the rune-like shapes on the page. But that was a question to answer later. He walked over to his bed and refolded the paper before setting it on top of his bedside table and letting himself fall unceremoniously onto his sheets. It had only been one day of this girl, and he was already fed up with how shrouded in uncertainty she was.

He sighed, pressing his lips together and climbing underneath his sheets with a low exhale. Pushing his frustration to the back of his head, his eyelids snapped shut and he let sleep whisk him away.

-

When Loki woke up, it was night outside his window. A half moon cast light through the glass panelled doors to his balcony, the shades parted to allow a sliver of the pale glow to land on his floor. He briefly considered rolling over and sleeping again, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep and would merely toss and turn wildly. So he sat up and swung his legs off of the bed and slowly crossed his room to his previously set aside robes. Pulling them on with a huff, he glanced over at his bedside table and saw the paper he had stolen from the girl. He considered his options for a moment, straightening out his robes so they fell properly on his frame.

He couldn’t take the paper to the girl and have her translate it; for one, his mother was definitely sitting next to her sleeping form, and for another thing Frigga had claimed the girl didn’t speak Alltongue. Not to mention, the girl wasn’t conscious to begin with. It would be rather nonsensical to ask a sleeping girl to decode a paper that frustrated him beyond belief. He sighed, running his fingers across the various symbols that covered the paper. Loki slowly refolded the note and replaced it on his bedside table before walking out of his room into the hallways, the torches sending their light dancing across his pale face much like the auroras had almost two days before. 

Loki passed a few guards who saluted him as he walked the hallways, aimlessly wandering. The sight of the prince stalking the halls at night was not unusual to the guards who patrol the palace. It was part of their title as dark prince and princess, just as much as their magic and their deeds and their antisocial tendencies. He stayed ravelled up in his own thoughts as he walked; the girl, the note, and his frustration all swirled about and tied his brain up in a messy ball of yarn made of his pondering. He planned to go to the library, but somehow along the way he ended up in the empty training hall, a gentle breeze ruffling the edge of his hair. It was silent and dim, with only the torches that lined the surrounding hallways casting soft orange glows onto the stone floor. He stood there in the dim light, half considering leaving and retreating to the library. 

He found himself pulling out his daggers and swinging at thin air, stabbing and dodging like an elaborate dance only he ever knew the steps to. The speed he moved at gave a red tint to his cheeks as his breath plumed slightly in the nighttime air. The chill didn’t nip at him one bit as he trained, feet light and nimble. It was becoming spring, but the night air still was cold enough to catch an unprepared person off guard and cause them to shiver. 

He was finding this dance strangely freeing. 

There was something about the timed _slash, block, twirl and stab_ that settled his mind, quieted it and told him that right now, there was no information for him to yearn for. There was only the dance of his knives and feet as he elegantly moved across the training area as a well-seasoned set of dance teachers show their class of children how to avoid the feet of their partners, how low was too low for their hands, and the difference between step times in a waltz as compared to an assortment of far closer, far more dangerous dances. He was a master of those dances too, the ones of diplomacy as well as ones of wooing, and he could always use some use some polishing on his dance of death. However, his favorite dance would always be that of well placed words, of biting sarcasm and scathing comments veiled with soft diplomacy and cunning smirks. That dance belonged to him fully, unlike the well learned steps of the other dances. He had never needed to learn the steps of dancing with his words; his tongue knew the motions the moment he had opened his mouth.

Loki kept going, ignoring the sunlight beginning to trickle into the training area. The sunlight didn’t dance across his flesh like glows of a soft nature; it shot into his eyes and and made him blink in surprise. He frowned, and merely snapped his eyes shut. His muscles were groaning, but he had embedded the pattern of his movements into them so deeply they kept going without a prompting from him. It was repetition, just his movements with no mind behind them as the light of the sun filled the training area and warmed his skin just enough to be pleasant. 

“Brother.” Loki’s eyes snapped open, and he saw Thor standing on the edge of the training area with a smile curving perfectly across his near perfect face. Loki’s movements ground to a halt, and with a simple gesture his daggers disappeared from his hands. “How long have you been up?”

“Far too long to be interested in more training, Thor.” Loki made a point of going into his stretches, and Thor laughed before coming over and joining him. They stretched in silence, Thor’s muscles readying themselves for training as Loki’s muscles groaned in relief at their cooldown. Thor was the one to start up a conversation.

“What is the girl like?” Loki snorted in amusement, glancing over at Thor as he bent over to stretch the backs of his legs.

“Why do you ask? Does the crown prince perchance fancy the foreign girl?” Thor laughed, shaking his head. 

“I merely wonder. She was in rather poor shape when I picked her up two days ago, and I was wondering how she has improved. No harm in asking after a guest.” Loki thought for a moment, rolling his shoulders and stretching out his arms with a few loud pops of his joints.

“She’s improving. Still looks half dead, but I expect that by the time Mother finishes her shift the girl’s internal injuries should be healed. She will live,” he said offhandedly as he arched his back and listens to symphony of cracking. Thor looked at his brother, tilting his head to the side slightly.

“You don’t like her.” Loki shrugged, turning to face his brother with a nonchalant expression. 

“She’s a pest who’s sucking up my time and sending my sleep schedule so far off the tracks I wake up in the middle of the night. What is there to like?” Thor chuckled, and Loki rolled his shoulders once more as he started to leave the room.

“I think you don’t like that you can’t learn anything about her.” Loki paused, listening to his brother speak. “That’s what you’ve always been about, no? You are always soaking up everything you can in the library, anyways.” Loki scoffed, and kept walking.

“Interesting theory, brother. I’ll see you much, much later.” Loki left the training room, starting to make his way to the medical wing. The torches still danced in their holders, but the sun was the primary light that was cast across his face as he made his way hurriedly down the hallways. The guards were changing shifts as he breezed past them, ignoring their salutes and murmurs of “Prince Loki” as he keeps walking. They weren’t his job at the moment, so they faded into the background noise as he steadily moved towards the medical wing.

“You’re early,” were the first words the prince heard when he entered the room, right after the sound of the door creaking open when he pushed it open and the scent of earthy, love-filled smell belonging to his mother’s magic. “Feel free to wait around until it’s your time.” Loki chuckled underneath his breath and walked towards his mother, leaning on the wall behind her.

“How is the girl holding up?” Frigga looked down at the sleeping form of the fallen woman, and sighed heavily. 

“She’s healing. She’s starting to stir in her sleep, and think she’ll wake soon. I’m uncertain how long she’ll wake for, but I do believe she will wake before the end of the week.” Loki nodded, looking down at the girl who was swallowed by her white sheets and pillows even though the bed was fairly small.

“Good. You’ll need rest after healing her.” The younger prince glanced around, and when he found that nobody was looking his direction, he pressed a quick kiss to his mother’s temple. Frigga chuckled, and he put a soft hand on her shoulder. “Go, sleep, eat. I can take over from here.” Frigga’s hands dropped and she looked up at her son, patting his cheek gently.

“Thank you, Loki.” She stood, and began slowly leaving. He took a seat and settled in, letting out a slow exhale. “And Loki?” He turned his head to face his mother, who is smirking gently at him. “Your tongue is too quick to be wasted as a cleric.” And with that she left him and a smile on the younger prince’s face.


	4. a decent amount of incomprehensible speech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update day! thank y'all so much for reading, it really means a whole lot to me! i do see y'all's comments and i really appreciate them, im sorry i haven't been responding! also, since it just occurred to me that i've never told yall and i wanna make sure it's clear – the reason the fallen girl's speech is in italics is because it's a language that can't be understood by anyone on asgard! anyways, enjoy this week's update, where we're finally awake and speaking for a good bit.

A week had passed, and Frigga’s prediction had yet to ring true for the sleeping girl under Loki’s care.

He sat by her and healed her diligently, and he got zero gratification in return from this action. She did not stir, or murmur in her sleep. No, she laid there like a heavy stone at the bottom of a stream, not once budging. He was becoming quite fed up by this progression of events. 

“She might be a lost cause, Mother,” he muttered under his breath as he stood next to the queen. It was Frigga’s shift at the moment, and he couldn’t see any movement from the girl as his mother’s magic flowed into her sleeping figure and mended her bones. “I do believe she might die.” Frigga’s eyes glared at him harshly, and he cleared his throat sheepishly.

“Until she is dead, we keep going. And she is still alive. So what does that mean?” Loki sighed, rolling his eyes and crossing his wrists behind his back as he pressed his lips tightly together in exasperation. 

“We continue to heal our guest,” he bit out bitterly as he glared down at the sleeping form of the girl. Since her first day, she had been gently wiped down with a damp cloth to remove the dirt and blood from her skin. She looked much more pristine now, even with her face hollowing out due to the lack of nutrition she had been receiving. Water had been stroked down the girl’s throat to keep her alive and hydrated, but other than that she hadn’t received anything in the range of nutrition.

“Is there any particular reason you feel such an animosity towards this girl?” Loki shrugged, averting his gaze from his mother momentarily. 

“She’s taking up our resources, our energy, and giving us nothing in return. While this might not be the diplomatic approach, I feel she has no purpose.” Frigga sighed heavily, rubbing her temples with a free hand. 

“Perhaps, yes, but politically speaking she is an incredible asset. We don’t know where she comes from or how she got here, and caring for her could give us access to these technologies. That would be a huge step forward for Asgard, Loki. She could open doors we’ve never even dreamed of. And it wouldn’t hurt you to be sympathetic once in a while,” his mother said forcefully as she stared him in the eyes. 

“Alright, alright,” he growled. “I’ll continue to assist you in the process of her healing! Does that please you?” Frigga smiled triumphantly, nodding as she broke away the flow of her magic from healing the girl. “I don’t understand why you’re so insistent that I help you with this process,” Loki muttered underneath his breath.

“Because even you, with all of the knowledge you devour, will always have lessons to learn that books cannot teach you.” She stood and Loki took her seat, settling in as he had been doing every other day. Frigga pressed a gentle, motherly kiss to the crown of his head and he let a soft smile settle on his lips, lightening the mood momentarily. “I’ve also decided that you will be in charge of getting her back to full health.” His smile momentarily dipped into a frown, but he steadied into a neutral expression. 

“So be it,” he murmured softly before he heavily sighs.

“Yes, so it will be. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Loki.” Frigga gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and she was off, pulling open the door to the medical ward and leaving Loki alone with a smattering of nurses and his tangled thoughts. He sighed, putting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward to look at the girl.

“It would be quite helpful if you would just die, you know. It’s nothing personal,” he murmured in an almost gentle manner, eyes running up and down the girl clinically. “You’re just taking up a lot of time and energy that could be used for other purposes.” She did not respond, her chest just gently rising and falling as she breathed between slightly parted lips. Loki leaned back in his chair with a sigh, resting his chin on his knuckles as he watches the girl carefully. 

He stayed like that for a long while, merely watching as the girl kept breathing. 

There was something simultaneously frustrating and gratifying about knowing that the girl could keep breathing without magic constantly being pumped into her. On one hand it was incredibly annoying because it meant that he was wrong about her; she wasn’t a lost cause if she could breathe unassisted. On the other hand, it was insanely gratifying that she had actually improved in her condition through his healing; he was getting some sort of tiny recognition for his work. 

But overall, it was surprising.

The girl had come smashing through the atmosphere like a meteor destined to hit the dirt and become a splendid, shattered meteorite. Shatter she had; she had broken the majority of the bones in her body, but on she trudged. She hadn’t been meant to live as far as Loki could tell. The woman on the table in front of him had been meant to break as easily as a doll, to die in an instant as she hit the ground at such a pace that she had made a crater. Yet here she laid before him, body patching itself with the help of others as the white sheets and pillows swallowed her whole. She was weak, helpless, and utterly vulnerable, like an injured bird that flutters helplessly around the garden with its wing broken and limp. Her drive to keep living reminded him of a soldier on a battlefield, covered in dirt and blood of unclear origins, kneeling as they forced themselves to keep moving forwards because they think something is waiting for them beyond the unclear dust and debris of war, and even though they were fatally wrong they held that foolish hope in their heart until the moment their last breath shuddered out. 

With a heavy sigh, he summoned a book to his hand and opened it up, his other hand beginning to glow green as he channeled his magic into the girl. If she was willing to fight this hard, he supposed it was worth it, if only a little bit.

\- 

Loki was caught utterly by surprise when a vice grip wrapped around his wrist and the girl gasped violently for air like she had just surfaced from the bottom of the ocean. It was the dead of night, and he was not fully awake, but this fixed that problem.

“Norns below, what in the name of Yggdrasil-” he meet the gaze of the girl on the bed, and he could see the whites of her eyes all around her irises. His yelling stopped for a moment as they stared each other down. Her chest was heaving as she struggled to breathe, her eyes pleading for Loki to do something, anything to help her. It tied an uncomfortable knot in his stomach as she stared him in the eyes, her gaze caught somewhere between that of one begging for death to be merciful and of one begging to mercifully freed back into life. His book fell to the floor with a thud, the pages closing and losing his spot as they stared at each other, completely alone. There were no nurses milling about, just them and the slowly charging air between their gazes.

“ _Where am I?_ ” She questioned, and Loki found that she was speaking a language he knew nothing of. Normally, his Alltongue would have been enough, but for some reason her words were incomprehensible. Her voice was breathy and weak, but she managed to get a punch into her words that made him want to sit fully upright in his chair even if he didn’t understand a single word. “ _What happened? Where am I? Who are you? Help me, please_ ,” she begged in words that held no depth for Loki, but her pleading tone made him swallow uncomfortably.

“I cannot understand you,” he slowly said, shifting to Alltongue in hopes she at least understanded it. He took a brief moment to be thankful that he was fully fluent in Alltongue and the old Norse tongue of Asgard, technically Aesir. “You’re in Asgard,” he carefully said as he pried her fingers off of his wrist and moved away from her slightly. 

“ _I am not a child!_ ” She moved to lunge at him, but instead shrieked in pain and fell back to the bed with a weak cry, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “Fuck,” she softly whimpered as one of her hands came up to grip her ribs lightly. “ _Oh Watcher. Fuck me_ ,” she muttered between gritted teeth. She was suddenly hyper aware of the pain all up and down her back, and she realized that if she moved much more she was going to black out from the pain that was enveloping her body. “ _Oh no. Eleanor_ ,” she growled as one hand came up to press angrily at her forehead. “ _Shit, she doesn’t know where I am, I can’t get home, oh god, oh no_ ,” she murmured as she dissolved into a panic, Loki watching in a mixture of his own panic and confusion.

“Talk to me-” he made an exasperated gesture before slipping out of Alltongue to his preferred Aesir. “-Oh, you can’t understand a damn word I’m saying. Stop panicking,” he demanded and she just snarled at him in a fury. He started searching his brain for anything, something that would let her calm down. 

The letter resting on his bedside table. Maybe it would calm her, maybe it would infuriate her, he didn’t care. He could handle fighting her nonlethally, and he could definitely handle her calming down and falling back asleep, but he couldn’t handle her panicking wildly. 

“Here, here,” he said as the letter appeared in his hand with a flick of his fingers. “Stop panicking and have your piece of paper.” He dropped it on her chest unceremoniously, sighing heavily as he leaned back in his chair. 

It took a moment, but eventually she reached down slightly and picked up the letter. He watched as she physically relaxed with the simple motion of unfolding the paper and listening to it crinkle softly. He cautiously picked up his book, keeping his eyes trained on her as she read the letter. She read it what must have been ten times or more, her eyes running over the paper again and again as she slowly calmed down. Eventually, she sighed and refolded the paper in her hands with a soft, melancholy smile on her face. She turned her head to face him and she gave him a slow smile, a look of peace cast across her face and softening her features for a moment.

“ _Thank you_ ,” she murmured softly as she tucked the letter inside of her formerly white tank top, which was stained a mixture of beige and brown from the dirt her clothing was still covered in. “ _I don’t trust you_ ,” she muttered under her breath, her head turning away from him to face the ceiling again. “ _But thank you_.”

“At least you aren’t screaming at me any more,” he muttered as he slid easily back into Alltongue. Even if she couldn’t understand him at all, Alltongue was something she would be more likely to understand than any Aesir at all (although if she had the Alltongue charm performed then she would be able to understand both but those were semantics for a later day). “If you could do me a favor and sleep again, that would be highly appreciated. I’m not in the mood to be stared at.” She snorted softly, settling into the bed quietly. The sheets still covered her up to the bottom of her ribcage, and the pillows felt like they are swallowing her head whole, but she found she didn’t mind the feeling. Her palms laid on top of each other, right over where she had the letter tucked into her clothing.

“ _I do wish I could trust you_ ,” she murmured as she forced her eyes to shut, trying to drown out the pain along her back with her thoughts and her words. “It would make this whole affair much easier.” He hummed as he calmly opened his book, flicking through the pages to find his spot among them. 

“I’m going to knock you out, as it will be much easier for you than with whatever pain you’re going through right now. I don’t know why I’m telling you, since you apparently can’t understand what I’m saying,” Loki muttered as he waved a hand over her body. She relaxed in an instant, and her chest returning to the gentle rise and fall that it had possessed for the past week before her sudden awakening. 

He supposed, as he casually turned a page of his book and let his hand pick up its green glow once more as he returned to channeling his magic into her, that she might be slightly more tolerable awake.


	5. the first of many vicious exchanges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! sorry this one is kinda late wednesday, ao3 wasn't working for me earlier for some reason, almost thought i'd have to just update tomorrow! also i know things might seem a bit slow at the moment but it'll pick up! anyways, i hope yall enjoy!!

It took another long, dragging week for her to wake again. Loki was almost thankful when she awoke, as he was unsure he could have taken another day sitting next to her in silence. It was strange how life worked; before she was awake, he wasn’t sure he could spend another day healing her. Now that he had seen the real, human fear in her eyes, he was curious.

But, as his luck went, he was not even awake when she came to the second time around.

Her eyes fluttered open, and her head immediately turned to the side. That man from before was sitting there, but unlike the last time she woke up, his eyes were shut and his book was precariously close to slipping from his hands. She smirked, shaking her head slowly at the irony of the situation. Her, having slept for far too long and finally awakening, and him, having stayed awake for perhaps longer than he should and managing to fall asleep just as she awoke. However, that wasn’t important. What was important was that she got up and started figuring out where the hell she was. 

She pushed herself into a seated position, grimacing slightly as she felt a dull roar of pain flaring up along her arms and along her spine. She shut her eyes for moment and took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching her hands as she was momentarily swept up in the wave. It was just pain, she gently reminded herself. She had dealt with pain before, as well as an almost total lack of sensation. This should be no different. She took a moment to adjust before she began shifting her legs off of the bed, taking a deep breath with every jolt of pain that shot through her at any subtle movement. Eventually, her legs were dangling off of the bed and she sighed heavily.

She pushed herself off the bed, her feet slowly becoming flat on the ground as she tightly gripped the edge of bed. She waited until her pain had died down, and then she carefully let go of the bed.

Her knees collapsed underneath her and she crumpled to the ground, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as pain rolled over her in waves. A tired hum came from the other side of the table, and she growled under her breath. Craning her neck, she looked at her back and made a small noise of disgust. Her back was covered in bruises of various disgusting shades, and as she peered at her front she finds the same was true. She was royally messed up.

“Where are you?” The voice came from the other side of the table and her head snapped up in a mixture of fear and surprise. “Norns, you’re certainly on the move,” the man muttered and she could hear his footsteps. She froze, neck craned upwards as he came around the corner of the table. He looked rather unhappy, his eyes tired as he stared down at her disapprovingly. “Well, someone feels better I suppose,” he softly grumbled. He knelt down and offered her a hand, and she pushed herself into a sitting position. 

“ _I don’t even know your fucking name_ ,” she muttered under her breath as she leaned against one of the legs of the bed. “ _Should I be talking to you? Probably, but I don’t trust anything about you and your slicked back hair_ ,” she laughed to herself, clutching her ribcage as she tried to not cause herself too much pain in the process.

“I still cannot understand a single thing you’re saying, you know,” Loki muttered as he lifted up the girl and put her back onto the bed with one smooth movement, ignoring her yelp of surprise and pain. “And I’m afraid you can’t understand anything I’m saying either. Wonderful, just brilliant,” he murmured under his breath as he looked over the girl with a clinical gaze. “If you could stay here for a moment, I could fetch my mother.” He looked her in the eyes, and made a series of hand gestures that he hoped conveyed his general message. She pointed to the bed as if for confirmation, and he nodded in relief. “Yes. Right there. Now, please hold on for a moment.” He strode out of the medical ward, leaving her sitting there on the bed watching him go.

The hallways were dimly lit as he made his way through them, his boots thumping with each long step he took towards his mother’s chambers. The guards murmured softly as they watched him pass; at that point, news of the girl in the medical ward was fully out and about in the palace, and probably Asgard proper as well. Loki supposed that the guards were likely wondering what was pulling him from his shift of healing the girl, but he didn’t care enough to tell them. He however, did care just enough to shoot scathing glares towards the guards who murmured together in the corners. They cowered slightly under his gaze, and he found a certain joy in it. His mother would have his head if he tried to intimidate the girl, so he got his kicks with guards. He would never touch the maids except when his temper was boiling over; the maids had never been anything less than kind.

He finally arrived outside of his father and mother’s chambers, and raised a fist to gently rap at the wooden doors. After a long moment, he could hear the rustling of sheets and the gentle patter of feet. The door opened, and his mother stood there with a small candle gently illuminating her face. Loki smiled down at Frigga, and she offered him a sleepy smile in return.

“My apologies for disturbing you, Mother, but I’m afraid that our patient has awakened and appears to intend to stay that way. She’s far more stable than the first time she awoke,” he softly murmured. Frigga was immediately far more awake, pulling the door open and slipping past Loki as she began to make her way down the hallway. He followed along beside her, falling into step with his mother. “Judging by the way she acts, I suspect she understands some amount of Alltongue, but she shows no signs of actually speaking the language herself.” Frigga sighed heavily.

“I do hope she speaks Alltongue. It would be so much easier than a temporary translation spell,” Frigga murmured. The flame of her candle sputtered and flickered from the speed of her walk, but she ignored it in favor of fast movement through the halls. 

“I’m highly doubtful,” Loki muttered underneath his breath as he pushed open the door for his mother.

The girl was still there, perfectly seated on the edge of the table, brows furrowed and lips pressed together as she traced slow patterns in the air. There were gold symbols floating around her, shakily holding their shape as she chewed her lower lip. The one she was tracing stuttered and suddenly broke, sending the entire configuration out of line, shattering into golden fragments as she groaned in frustration. Her head fell forward into her hands, and she pulled at her hair with a heavy sigh. Loki and Frigga looked at each other momentarily, and then Loki made a point of taking a loud first step into the medical ward. 

“ _Shit! Hey_ ,” the girl murmured as her head snapped up, waving nervously at the mother and son. Frigga gave her a soft smile, approaching her carefully. She swallowed, watching the queen carefully as her fingers curled into the bed with worry.

“Hello, dear,” Frigga murmured softly in Alltongue as she came to stand in front of the girl. She didn’t respond, and Loki spoke up. 

“We know you can understand Alltongue,” he coolly stated, making the girl growl slightly before she started gesturing. 

“ _Look, you can just fuck right off_.” Frigga sighed, shaking her head with slight amusement. 

“Please, excuse my son Loki. I’m going to cast a simple translation spell, so we can communicate with you.” She nodded, watching carefully as Frigga made a few delicate hand gestures. “Alright. Say something?”

“ _Where am I?_ ” Frigga smiled, watching as the girl’s mouth and words fell out of sync and her sentence came out in almost robotic Alltongue. “ _Who are you people? When can I go home?_ ” 

“You’re in the Asgardian palace. I’m Frigga, queen of Asgard, and this is Loki, my son. We’ve been healing you since you landed in the mountains. What’s your name?” She swallowed, nervously fidgeting with the edge of the bed as she stated her name. “How did you get here?” Frigga watched carefully as the girl started gently massaging her own hands. 

“ _I fucked up and went through an unused portal field. And I fell through the portal to here. It was-_ ” she swallowed, head dropping back for a moment as she gathered herself. “ _-horrible. There was nothing. It wasn’t even black, it was so dark that when I landed here I thought I was going blind from all the light. It was just. Nothing in there_.” She was shaking, eyes glazing as she stared blankly at the wall behind Frigga, and the queen was worried that the girl was going to break into tears. She quickly shook herself back to reality, meeting the gaze of the older woman with a soft smile. “ _When can I go home?_ ”

“Where is home, dear?” Frigga took a step closer and carefully wrapped her hands around the girl’s. She melted into the touch, staring at Frigga’s hands with a small hum of happiness.

“ _Up there. Vindrheim, that’s home_.” Loki scoffed in the corner, and her head snapped around to look at him as the dark prince looked up and met her gaze. 

“Vindrheim doesn’t exist. It’s a fairytale for children, with angels from the sky.” Her face twisted in anger as he kept speaking. “You aren’t an angel. Where are your wings, your halo of gold?” He sneered mockingly, and she was on her feet in an instant. She ignored the pain shooting through her body as she stormed over to him, a justified fury fueling her.

Frigga couldn’t help but wince as the girl slapped her son so hard that the sound rang through the medical ward and Loki’s head was flung to the side. A sharp red mark started to form on the prince’s cheek, and the girl began to yell. 

“ _And what would you know? What would you know of a land that was shut off from Asgard before you were even born? Of a land that stopped communication during the reign of Bor? You’re not the one who lived there your whole life!_ ” she screeched, and Loki was mildly lightheaded from the girl screaming in his face as his cheek burned from her slap. He grabbed her shoulder tightly, and she hissed in pain, wrenching herself from his grasp with her face twisting in agony. Frigga grabbed the girl as she stumbled backward, glaring at Loki with narrowed eyes.

“Vindrheim is a story for young children with overflowing imaginations. Maybe I was right when I guessed you to be a child-” Frigga cut off his taunting hiss. 

“Loki! That is far more than enough said,” the queen commanded, and her son’s mouth snapped shut with a heavy frown upon his lips. “Learn to hold your tongue, lest she does it for you.” The girl remained silent, staring Loki in the eyes. He held her gaze, and eventually she broke it first with a displeased growl. “You might be a prince, but she’s a royal guest, and may I remind you, under your care until she leaves!” 

“ _I’d rather not be_ ,” the girl muttered and Frigga quickly broke the translation charm in fear of another fight between her son and the girl breaking out. 

“Oh believe me, I’d rather not either, but you’re stuck with me. I’d recommend healing quickly,” he mockingly commented, boredly examining his fingernails with a sigh. 

“Loki,” Frigga lowly said, and his head snapped up with a nod. “Go. Get some sleep. Your duties as her caretaker start tomorrow morning when we shift her to a proper room.” Loki bowed dramatically and quickly took his leave. The girl leaned heavily against the bed, still staring angrily at the door Loki had left through. 

“ _I knew I was right to not trust a single thing about that sleazy haircut_ ,” She angrily muttered as she weakly pulled herself back into the bed with a huff. 

“Try to sleep, dear,” Frigga murmured softly as the girl pulled the covers over her with a sigh. The girl nodded and Frigga turned away. A small paper had fluttered to the floor, and Frigga carefully bent down to pick it up with a frown. “Is this paper yours?” She turned over in bed and nodded, carefully extending a hand for the letter. Frigga placed it in the girl’s hand and curled the girl’s hand shut with a smile, gently patting her knuckles. “Sleep well.” Frigga turned and left, the door quietly shutting behind her. 

“ _Thank you_.” 


	6. a mild nuisance on the move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: every wednesday i forget it's wednesday and inevitably yell "SHIT IT'S WEDNESDAY" at least twice during the day! another fun fact is the fact that all of this is actually prewritten, so i never have to worry about missing an update because it's not written. anyways, look! its the beginnings of a plot! also a side character who will lead to another side character! lets go

She woke fairly slowly in the morning, stretching and yawning as she moved about the sheets. She didn’t open her eyes; instead she just listened to the room around her. Someone was reading, the pages of the book softly shushing against each other as the person turned the pages. She rolled over onto her stomach, stretching her spine with a grimace as the dull ache of pain appeared. 

“You’re taking an awfully long time waking up,” a smooth voice calmly commented. Her eyes snapped open and her gaze fell onto Loki. He was calmly reading a book in the Asgardian tongue, not once looking up towards her as he turned the pages. She frowned, settling deeper into the sheets and pillows with a small disapproving hum. “You do have things to do and places to be today, you know.” She propped herself up onto her elbows, craning her neck in an attempt to read the pages of the book. Her knowledge of the language was weak at best, but she knew some. She had needed some extra credits at one point, so she chose the most useless language she could think of. She wasn’t fluent by any measure, like she was with Alltongue and the tongue of Vindrheim, but she could trip her way through and patch in words from Alltongue vocabulary.

“ _I still don’t like you,_ ” She murmured under her breath as she stared down at his book. “ _But I suppose I have to learn to tolerate you._ ” Loki glanced up, staring her in the eyes and tilting his head to the side. 

“You know I can’t understand a word you say, and yet you keep talking incessantly.” She smirked proudly at having got under his skin ever so slightly, burrowing her way back underneath the sheets and watching him carefully. Her arms pulled the pillows her head had been resting on close to her chest, and she stared at him for a long while. He stared back at her, book still opened in his lap as his fingers ran over the paper ever so lightly. “I doubt your company would be far more enjoyable with your words. Something tells me they would be rather dull.”

“ _I ought to snap your neck,_ ” she snarled, reaching forward with her hand. Threads of magic extended from her fingers and curled around the book in Loki’s grasp. He let it go, watching in curiosity as she pulled the book into her lap and sat up, her magic dissipating into nothing as she ran her hands over the pages. “ _I will, however, settle for your equally dull reading material._ ” He raised an eyebrow as her eyes scanned the pages, and he leaned forward in his chair. 

“You can’t read that.” She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow in challenge. “If you wish to prove me wrong, please, show me your expertise,” he mockingly commented as he made grand gestures and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. She cleared her throat, nervously ruffling the corner of the page. She hesitated for a moment, but then she remembers who issued her the challenge. She spoke, wanting to cringe at how prominent her accent was compared to his smooth pronunciation.

“It is… commonly thought that… magic is an… in… herited.... trait. However… magic is present in… all beings.” She snorted in amusement as she ruffled the pages. This wasn’t written for the reading level of a prince. She felt around the edges of the pages, and if she looked more closely at the book she could see the wear and tear this book had taken. This was clearly merely a time filler for the conceited prince. “ _You could read anything but you read this,_ ” she commented as she slipped back into a more comfortable tongue Loki could not comprehend. 

“I’m afraid I didn’t catch that last bit,” he smirked as he crosses his legs, bouncing one of his feet in a bored gesture. “I’m surprised. Not impressed, but surprised. You’re clearly nowhere near fluent in my mother tongue, but knowing anything at all isn’t particularly common for outsiders.” She rolled her eyes, gesturing to the book. 

“You… you have read this. A lot.” Loki shrugged, and with a wave of his hands the book was flying back into his grasp and disappearing to someplace she didn’t know. He stood and brushed off invisible dust, clasping his hands behind his back as he looked down at the girl. 

“Yes, yes, very impressive that you speak any of that language at all. I do believe I prefer you silent,” he nonchalantly commented with a sort of offhanded air that rubbed her exactly the wrong way. “We have places to be and things to do. Or more accurately, you have places to be that I must bring you, and you will do things while I enjoy my time alone.” She frowned, carefully swinging her legs off of the edge of the bed. Now that she was conscious, she knew her recovery would be greatly assisted by her accelerated healing rate.

“ _You know, something tells me you couldn’t take a stiff punch,_ ” She muttered underneath her breath as she began slowly lowering herself down off of the bed.

“As we’ve previously established, I cannot understand you. And don’t injure yourself, it would rather annoy my Mother.” She wiggled her feet against the ground, and she couldn’t help but grimace at the feeling of the unyielding stone behind her. She would much rather have the cool dirt of the academy, the sand of the beach, or even the rough, academy-issued covers of Eleanor’s bed. Anything but the cold, careless floor beneath her feet.

“ _I could talk to you if I wanted to, but I just to happen to think you’re not a trustworthy person. You and your perfect-_ ” she was cut off as she took a step forward and one of her legs decided that today it was taking the day off and promptly buckled beneath her. Two arms wrapped around her waist with a frustrated growl, making her gasp in surprise. Loki set her upright and she clung to his arm as he rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. 

“What did I just tell you not to do? Because you just managed to do the exact opposite in under thirty seconds.” She frowned, shrugging offhandedly.

“ _I don’t listen to men with their heads so far up their asses that they’ve forgotten what sunlight feels like,_ ” she spat at him and he rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“There’s no point in threatening me when I cannot understand a single damned word that comes out of your mouth. If you could keep your mouth shut until I actually get you where you need to be, that would be fabulous.” She growled under her breath as she clung tightly to his left arm, but she didn’t say a word. His bored tone made her skin crawl, and she couldn’t strangle a prince. As much as she enjoyed aggravating Loki, she could only take so much of his return fire. “Good. We’re going.”

“ _Wait, wait wait wait! My bag, you idiot of a prince!_ ” She pressed her heels firmly against the stone as he mostly dragged her. Her nails scrabbled for purchase against his sleeves until she got a grip and dug them into his arm. She felt him tense and a sharp shake came from his end. “ _My bag!_ ” She let go of him entirely, shakily standing on her own two legs as she staggered over to the bed. She gripped the edge of the bed and shuffled along until she could lunge into the chair he had spent so many nights in. She grabbed her bag off of the ground and threw it over her shoulder, listening to the items inside shifting around. She spotted the letter on the bed and shoved it in, staring down at the leather with a smile.

“You could have used your words if you wanted to tell me something,” he muttered under his breath as he crossly rubbed his arm in pain and waited for her. She looked up, a smirk crossing her face. 

“No, thank you,” she commented in accented Aesir. Her voice had a gentle upwards lilt to it on the rounder vowels, like the O in “no” and the OU in “you” that granted her words an almost songlike quality. She fell forwards to lean against the bed, making her way around the furniture until she was within staggering distance of Loki. She stumbled forward and grabbed his arm, the right one this time. She injured him, and she saw no reason to rub salt into that wound literally or metaphorically.

“You’re being moved to your own room,” he coolly commented as her half carried her on his one arm as the two of them walked through the halls.”You’ll have a maid who will essentially serve your every desire. You’re being fitted for dresses and the lot at some point, I don’t know when. I’m here to make sure you don’t kill yourself in your stupidity.” She slapped his arm and he laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not entirely sure which part you’re angry at.”

“Last,” she spat out bitterly and he chuckled to himself with a light sigh.

“This will be such fun. You, unable to understand or speak much Aesir but with perfect comprehension of a language nobody in these halls knows because it belongs to a fake land,” he mockingly said and she hissed in disapproval. “At least you can understand every insult I say. This would get rather boring otherwise.” She growled and threateningly flexed her fingers against his arm. “You’re like a puppy baring its teeth when it has barely any.”

“ _I can’t believe I’m stuck with you. Back on Vindrheim, I’d kick your ass so far into the ocean you’d drown on the way back to shore._ ” He shrugged, and they fell silent for a little bit. She had nothing left to throw at him that he would understand, and he tired of mocking her relentlessly. It was not entertaining to insult someone who did not fight back, and she hadn’t the tolerance.

Eventually, they came to a stop in front of a door. The wood of the door was intricately carved, designs of plants and animals dancing across the surface. She was half convinced that she saw a snake in the corner flicking its tongue even though it was made of lifeless wood. This was Asgard, after all; this was the city of gold, magic, and power. Loki raised a fist and lightly tapped once on the door. Clearly, someone was waiting there to meet them by his course of actions. 

The door dramatically swung open and a woman fell into a curtsy, eyes pointedly staring at the ground. 

“Prince Loki.” A smirk crossed the prince’s face, and he chuckled slightly in a manner that the girl can’t quite pinpoint.

“Eira. I haven’t seen you in quite some time. I heard they had shifted you to the kitchens.” Eira glanced up, and Loki gestured that it was alright for her to rise and look him in the eyes. 

“They did, your Highness. But I am fluent in Alltongue, so I was needed for this job.” He raised his eyebrows, tilting his head from side to side as the maid carefully clasped her hands in front of her waist.

“You were wasted in the kitchens as it was. I’ve told you to apply to the academy, fully funded by myself, with a position for you waiting for you among my mages. Yet you keep turning me down.” Eira lightly laughed, shaking her head as the girl watched on in confusion, still attached tightly to Loki’s arm.

“My apologies, your Highness, but I can’t accept your offer. I refuse to be in debt to anyone.” Loki sighed, shaking his head with a melancholy sigh. 

“Pity. Anyways, that’s not why I’m here. This here is…” He said her name with a questioning tone and she nodded, carefully detaching herself from the prince’s arm and smiling at Eira. “Yes. She’s our guest for the time being. I’m sure someone has updated you on her situation?” Eira nodded, taking a deep before beginning to recite.

“She was found out in the hills by Prince Thor, with several breaks and shatters in her bones. She claims her homeland is Vindrheim-” the girl hummed with displeasure, and Eira’s eyes flicked over to her as she continued speaking. “She understands Alltongue but does not speak it. Under no circumstances is she allowed pressure on her ribs in case of bone fragility, and she has a list of other things that would be tedious to go over.” Loki clicked his tongue and sighed disapprovingly, smiling down at Eira. 

“Fully paid, Eira. Consider it for your prince? You would be such an asset to my mages, I can’t tell you how much you would benefit us.” She frowned as she heard a velvet slip its way into the dark prince’s voice. It was soft and comforting, and she could easily imagine it wrapping its way around her neck and choking her until she gave in. She shuddered, and Eira calmly shook her head.

“No. I will not, your Highness, and that is my statement. Now, I do believe you have duties to attend to, Prince Loki.” Eria curtsied, and carefully took the girl by the arm and lead her in through the doorway. “My apologies.” With that, Eira pulled the door shut and rolled her eyes, her back facing the girl. 

“ _So I suppose he’s just like this constantly. Silver tongue,_ ” the girl murmured under her breath, and Eira turned around in surprise. 

“You’ve been lying to them.” She swallowed and her face paled as Eira gazed at her intently. 

“ _What in the name of the Watcher,_ ” she murmured under her breath as she leaned against the wall, legs too shaky to properly trust.

“My gift. My “magical inclination” as our prince likes to call it. It’s… not predictive sight. Is there a word? Sometimes, words come out of a person’s mouth and I can read between the lines. I can’t control it. It’s unstable.” Eira took a step closer to the girl leaned against the wall and offered her a hand. “When you just spoke, it leaped out at me that you can speak Alltongue. Why did you not tell Queen Frigga, my lady?” She took Eira hand, and the woman helped her hobble over to the bed and sit down.

“Because I don’t trust a word from the prince’s mouth,” she said, before grimacing slightly at her pronunciation. It made her feel like her tongue was heavy in her mouth, a slab of meat. Vindrheim’s language was produced mostly through the throat, and the use of Alltongue was not hard but made her mouth feel clunky. She wiggled her jaw, taking her bag off of her shoulder and setting it down on the bed. “He doesn’t trust me, and I don’t trust him. Anyone with hair that perfect isn’t to be trusted, in my personal opinion.”

“You’re quite fluent, my lady,” Eira calmly commented as the girl dug through her bag.

“Alltongue isn’t hard to learn. It was a required course for my studies, and I like to travel.” Her fingers closed around her bracelet, and she slipped it on before continuing to dig. “On the other hand, my native tongue would be impossible for you to speak.” Her fingers rubbed against the canvas of the painting in her bag, and she grinned triumphantly. “Here. Proof of where I’m from.” She pulled out the painting, holding it up for Eira to see.

“It’s beautiful,” Eira calmly said as she took a step closer. Her eyes narrowed, and she swallowed heavily as she looked up at the girl. “That’s you, my lady?” She nodded at Eira, gently setting the small painting down on the bed.

“Yes. That should be all the proof anyone needs. Vindrheim is my home.” Eira clasped her hands in front of her, nervously staring at the floor as she spoke.

“I’m sorry, my lady. But they will never believe you. The tale of Vindrheim is only in fairytales. There is no true written history.” She frowned, staring at Eira and swinging her legs.

“Well, that’s their loss. If you could not tell another living soul about my ability to speak Alltongue, that would be deeply appreciated. I don’t trust anyone in this palace.” Eira nodded, looking up at the girl. “And please don’t call me a lady. You’ll find I’m anything but.”

-

Eleanor was worried out of her mind.

Her roommate had never done anything like this. If she was going to be late, she would tell Eleanor, inform the school of the delay. She would send postcards, photos of the scenery, trinkets, anything really. 

But for far too long, there had been nothing at all. The hotel her roommate had been booked in reported she never checked in, but she had been seen leaving the academy. Eleanor rocked back and forth, pacing the room on the verge of nervous breakdown. 

She was scared out of her mind.

She took a deep breath, picked up her corded phone, and dialed her parents as she whispered a silent prayer to the Watcher. (He hears and shakes his head in amusement, knowing the girl was safe where she was.)

“Hey, Mom,” Eleanor cheerfully began. “I need a favor.”


	7. a larger, arguably more friendly prince enters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate title: these magical women are queer and there's nothing you can do about it. i might have almost forgotten to update this because i started binging buzzfeed unsolved and had to catch up on my neuroscience work, but here we are! chapter six! thank y'all so much for 50 kudos and coming up on 900 hits! it really means a lot to me that y'all are reading this, and i love all of you! anyways, here's the chapter!

Waking up was strangely peaceful.

She could hear someone at the edges of her room, gently moving things about and humming. She shifted in her bed and sat up, tiredly rubbing at her eyes. She hurt less today; there was no wave of pain when she moved. Maybe she would be able to walk on her own two feet, not clinging to a person she never wanted to depend on.

“Good morning, miss.” Eira stood at the end of her bed, hands clasped in front of her as she pressed her lips together tightly. “I’m afraid that Prince Loki has been instructed to introduce you to Prince Thor. He is rather insistent that this happens sooner rather than later.” She sighed, running her hands through her messy hair before her arms dropped back to her sides.

“ _I can’t believe I’m stuck with him,_ ” she murmured as she stretched her back with a high pitched hum. “ _That prince is too self-centered for his own good._ ” Eira sighed and carefully helped her as she stepped out of bed. She didn’t collapse when she let go of her supports, and that sent a wide smile across her face as she lightly laughed, fists curling and uncurling as she lightly rocked back and forth on her feet.

“I’m assuming this is a good reaction?” She nodded at Eira, stretching her fingers as she found her balance again.

“Yes. I don’t like clinging to other people for help.” Eira chuckled, nodding appreciatively.

“I can understand that. That’s part of why I turn down Prince Loki’s offer again and again. I do not want my love and I in his debt. She and I work best we can, and that’s enough.” Eira smiled softly.

“Oh, you have a girlfriend? How long?” Eira looked at her charge with surprise as she led the girl into the bathroom, the walls a lovely creamy color with golden accents.

“Two years.” Eira blushed as she picked up a brush, staring at it for a moment. “Once I make enough money for a ring, I plan to propose to her.” She grinned as Eira began running the brush through her hair, gently teasing out the tangles. The gesture reminded her of home, of Eleanor and tired weekend mornings when the academy had no classes.

“I wish you a long and prosperous marriage.” Eira smiled but said nothing as she kept brushing away. Eventually she finished and set the brush to the side.

“You have nothing else to wear, do you?” Eira murmured, looking at the heavily stained tanktop and shaking her head.

“No, I don’t,” she murmured as she looked down at the previously white fabric. There was dark red patches towards the top and the entire thing was caked with dirt, making her grimace slightly as Eira looked on. “Well, nothing to be done,” she commented as she stood up and made a weak attempt to brush off the grime. “ _Time to suffer through another prince!_ ” She carefully made her way towards the door of her room as Eira followed close behind, making sure the girl didn’t fall. 

“About time,” Loki cooly commented as the door swung open. He was leaning against a wall, a book casually resting in his hand as he flicked through the pages with surprising speed. “I was beginning to think I would be better off never having left the library.” He snapped the book shut and with a wave of his hand it disappeared, making her frown in frustration. Her sigil casting was much less elegant, and she hated to admit it but she was slightly jealous of the easy hand gestures of Loki’s magic.

“ _Take me away,_ ” she commented as Eira carefully closes the door, leaving the girl and Loki alone in the brightly lit hallway.

“Come along,” Loki said as he began casually strolling down the hallway. She followed behind, using the wall as support as she struggled to keep up with the long-legged prince. She eventually lagged behind, her shorter, recently healed legs struggling to keep up.

“ _Hold the fuck up,_ ” she called out. Loki stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around, rolling his eyes and sighing at her inability to keep up. With a wave of his hand, she was enveloped in a pale green light. She was lifted off the ground and suddenly she rocketed towards him, a high pitched squawk coming from her as she floated beside the man. “ _Drop me this instant!_ ”

“You were taking too long,” he coolly said as he continued walking, the girl floating beside him as if this was a normal occurrence in his everyday life. “Perhaps next time you will be faster.” She growled under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at his head. She said nothing as she continued to float down the hallway beside him. She was not at all happy with this situation, but she supposed it was better than being carried underneath his arm. 

“Loki!” As the pair entered the training area, a large blond man spotted her and Loki. He waved and approached them, a red cape flowing behind him. Loki promptly dropped the girl, and she nearly fell at the sudden contact with the ground. She stumbled forward and the blond man caught her, setting her upright with a friendly laugh. She flushed a pale pink, swallowing as she finds her feet.

“ _Watcher, there’s a friendly reminder that I’m outrageously bi,_ ” she murmured under her breath as she curtly bowed to the prince.

“Greetings! May I inquire your name, my lady?” Thor took her hand and gently pressed a kiss to the back of it, and Loki rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“ _Watcher,_ ” she murmured before quickly saying her name, face turning a darker shade of pink as Thor winked at her. Another woman approaches, and the girl felt her heart pounding out of her chest at the high concentration of attractive people in the area. “ _This is either a blessed day or a cursed day and I can’t decide which, Watcher save me,_ ” she muttered under her breath as the woman bowed and smiled up at the girl.

“A pleasure to meet you, my lady. This here is the Lady Sif, and I am Thor. Welcome to Asgard,” Thor said as he made a sweeping gesture with his arms, gesturing to the kingdom around them. “Join us! We’re training at the moment,” Thor said with a wide smile. She grinned and took a step forward, but a strong hand gripped her arm from behind. She turned around to see Loki, his green eyes wide as he shook his head.

“I’m afraid that would not be a good idea,” Loki slowly began, but his brother laughed and made a dismissive gesture with one of his paw-like hands. 

“Let the lady make her own choices, brother! If she wishes to train with us for a while, let her.” Loki laughed without a hint of humor in his voice, hand still clamped tightly around her arm as she frowned at him.

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that, brother. My job is to protect her from stupidity, yours included.” She rolled her eyes, and with a sharp yank her arm was free and she was reeling backwards into the arms of Lady Sif. “You can’t be serious,” Loki began and she shrugged, beginning to quickly trace a shape in the air.

“ _Dagger, dagger, c’mon please tell me I brought you with me-_ ” the gold symbol she had traced in the air flashed, and her dagger fell into her hands without a question asked. “ _You’re not the only one with magic,_ ” she commented smugly, fully aware he couldn’t understand a word she had just said. She turned to Thor and Sif, a smile across her face as she said one word in Aesir. “Slow.”

“Whatever you desire, my lady.” Thor summoned a hammer to his side, and she took a deep breath as Sif joined a group of three warriors off to the side. “Ready?” She nodded, rolling her shoulders. She thought for a moment, and tried to bring her wings out so she could implement her full range of fighting. It didn’t work; her back burned at the attempt and she could feel her instincts howling not yet not yet, so she respected them. 

Thor made the first move. He swung his hammer and she hopped out of the way, trying to not wince at the pain in her legs. She charged him head on, and as he moved to hit her with his hammer she slid between his legs and yanked on his cape with her free hand, using the dagger to leave cuts on the prince’s ankles. He laughed as she stood, twirling the dagger in her hands as he regained his balance. 

“Impressive,” the older prince commented as he rolls his hammer in his grip. “But not impressive enough.” He threw the hammer and she rolled out of the way, yelping in terror as she narrowly dodged the flying projectile. 

“Careful,” Loki barked and Thor laughed heartily, turning to face his younger brother. She saw her chance, and carefully slips behind Thor as he talked to his brother.

“You have no sense of fun, brother. Loosen up, no?” She quickly leapt onto his back and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, doing her best to choke him.

She received a sharp elbow to the gut, and she went flying backwards, hitting a wall with a groan as she slid and hit the ground. 

“That is enough, Thor!” Loki snapped, rushing forward. The girl might have been an utter pain in the ass for him to deal with, but Frigga would have his head if he let her become even more injured. “You will be of no help if you injure her further. You won’t be the one healing healing her if she’s broken a bone or five again.” He picked her up, holding her in his arms. Her eyes were still open, and she was weakly laughing. “You’re an idiot.”

“Again!” she weakly crowed, and Thor laughed loudly. Loki growled under his breath, rolling his eyes.

“No. We’re leaving before anything more idiotic happens.” She softly whined as Loki carried her out of the training area, taking care not to jostle her too much in case she’s broken something. Her head was fuzzy and she was fairly certain she hit it, but it wasn’t too bad. She looked up at Loki’s face from her heavily lidded eyes, watching streams of light wash over his face as he walked past windows. It reminded her of the way light filtered in through windows on a sleepy Saturday morning, casting tiger stripes of light across the tired bodies of students and faculty alike as they rejoiced in their rest and the freedom of the day. She reached up to touch the light, spreading her hand and watching the way it softly shone between her fingers while leaving her flesh shrouded in shadows. Loki quietly watched as she did this, casting shadows across her face while leaving her eyes glinting in the afternoon light.

The lighting shifted as they enter the library. It became softer as it filtered through the stained glass that made up the windows that lined the western wall from ceiling to floor. She ran her hands along the shelves as he carried her, her fingertips lightly dragging across the dark wood as she hummed a gentle song to herself. Eventually, Loki came to a stop and carefully set her down onto a couch. She didn’t sink into the cushions, but they still dip slightly underneath her. 

“Stay awake,” Loki growled under his breath as her eyelids fluttered shut. “My mother will have my head if you die.” She laughed under her breath, shifting on the couch until she sat propped upright against one of the arms. Opening her eyes, she put her hands together so just the tips of her fingers touched before she began slowly pulling them apart, thin gold threads spanning the ever-growing gap between her fingertips. She rolled her wrist once so the threads twist together, and then she held out the threads to Loki. He was mildly taken aback, and he glanced up at her. There was a tired smile in her eyes and an almost loopy smile on her lips. “What do you want me to do with these things?” She laughed, shaking her head before she gave a sharp tug on the ends of the threads. They seperated from her fingers and she quickly tied the ends together before pressing them between her palms.

When she pulled her hands apart again the threads were gone, leaving only a rapidly fading golden glow on the inside of her palms.

“Yes, this is fascinating and all,” Loki dryly commented as he sat down on the floor and leaned against a shelf, his legs sticking out in front of him. “I’m afraid I don’t understand the point.” She shrugged, turning so her back was pressed against the back of the couch and her legs are crossed in front of her. She quickly created another set of threads, but this time she didn’t twist them together. She carefully began a strange sort of weaving, folding the threads over one another and finally twisting them all together to form the bloom of an amaryllis flower. She pulled the threads out to form a stem, and then sharply tugged her hand away.

The flower sat there in her hand, seemingly as alive as if Loki was staring at it in the palace gardens on one of his walks. The amaryllis was surrounded by a gentle golden glow and she couldn’t help but smile as she tugged off a petal. She gently rubbed it between her fingers and it dissolved into a golden dust that stuck to her skin, leaving softly glowing marks.

They sit in silence as she carefully destroyed the flower of her creation, turning into glowing golden dust that stuck to her skin like the freckles that covered her face. It reminded Loki of an Aesir funeral in a strange way; she was letting go of something that was beautiful in its own right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's occurred to me that i've never said this, but if any of y'all have questions about something here, feel free to leave a comment or hit me up at captainbushel.tumblr.com !


	8. a correction of factually incorrect thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! its update day, happy july fourth/steve roger's birthday, hope yall enjoyed your day today! apologies for any tense errors in this chapter, i think i missed some when i was writing this so if you see any feel free to tell me about them so i can fix them! also, thank y'all so much for over a thousand hits and over 60 kudos, i really appreciate that and all of your lovely comments!! anyways, i hope you enjoy today's chapter!

A few days had passed, and she was minding her own her business when there was a gentle knock on her door. She stood up from the chair she was in and slowly made her way over to the door, carefully pushing it open. Loki was standing there, hands clasped behind his back as he looked down at her.

“You have to be fitted for clothing.” She groaned, rolling her eyes and leaning against the doorframe as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes, I know. I don’t want to be doing this either, but you’ve been wearing that disgusting, dirt-caked top and those ridiculously short pants for nearly three weeks and it’s time you got some actual clothing.” She grimaced, and he rolled his eyes with a tiny smirk curling up the corner of his mouth. “I’m fully aware you’d rather spend the day in your room. But clothing is a necessity.”

“ _Fine_ ,” she grumbled under her breath as she pushed off of the wall and began to follow him down the hallway. “ _This is all utterly pointless and I happen to like my tank top,_ ” she commented as her bare feet gently hit the stone floor. Nobody had given her shoes, and even if they had she would have turned them down. She loved feeling surfaces under her feet, even if the cold stone of the Asgardian palace wasn’t her favorite.

Loki led her into the guts of the palace. She watched as the lighting became softer, more heavily dependent on torches in their holders than the beautiful windows that lined the outer portions of the palace. There was a shift in atmosphere from the brilliant gold that faced outwards into a darker, softer image that felt less like a kingdom and more like a home. The prince seemed perfectly content down there, his walk losing the force behind it and becoming much more relaxed. He stopped in front of a simple wooden door, pulling it open with a grand gesture.

“Prince Loki!” There was a chorus of happy cries from behind the door, and Loki _laughed_ as he walked in. She watched around the edge of the door as he went around the room and kissed the hand of each and every seamstress. They all seemed genuinely happy to see Loki, and she couldn’t help but smile. They were all chattering away with such rapid Aesir that she couldn’t understand any of it, but the entire room had the air of a reunion. It was like parents welcoming back a son who had been travelling for years, who had seen worlds that he never once thought he could comprehend when he had sat as a small boy in his library. She hesitated as she lingered at the edge of the door, but eventually Loki caught sight of her and gestured her in. A smile curved his lips and she couldn’t help but smile in return, because for the first time since she had met him he seemed well and truly happy.

“Right. Now, business,” Loki said to her and she slowly nodded, wanting to squirm under the gazes of the dress makers. They were quietly murmuring to one another, and it made her want to scream. “They’re going to measure you.” He moved away and suddenly she was caught up in a flurry of strings and chattering as a group carefully takes her measurements. She held still, letting them move her body like a doll because she didn’t trust herself to not lash out.

“ _Oh thank the Watcher, it’s over,_ ” she breathed out as they moved away, scribbling down measurements. One of the seamstresses asked Loki a question that the girl couldn't catch, and he shrugged before turning his head.

“They need to know what colors you want.” She swallowed, slowly rubbing up and down her upper arms in an attempt to calm herself down. That had been far too much for her; she could still barely handle touching some items even after three weeks out of the dark, empty space that had been the portal.

“Blues and greens.” Instantly there was an uproar among the seamstresses, all flocking around Loki. He growled something at them, clearly overwhelmed by their sudden shift in attention. He made a calm statement, one of the dressmakers asked a question, and he firmly said something. She couldn’t understand any of the conversation in her confusion and slight panic, and she was shaking slightly where she stood. Eventually, Loki looked up at her.

“Unless you intend to cause a riot, I’d suggest a color other than green. Let’s just say that you wearing green would symbolize something rather politically outrageous.” She nodded, rocking back and forth on her feet as she struggled to not lash out with her magic.

“Gold.” The seamstresses relaxed, slowly moving away from Loki and nodding in what seemed to be disappointment. “And, and,” she gestured to her backless top. Loki raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair.

“Backless?” She nodded in relief, shrugging offhandedly. “Alright.” He said something to the maids and they made a comment in return, but there wasn’t the uproar of her asking for green. Loki asked a question of the seamstresses, something about if he could leave, and there was a murmur of disappointment that washed across the room.

She watched, backing up towards the wall as each seamstress came forward and received at the very least a kiss on the back of their hands from the dark prince. Some of the younger ones received a gentle squeeze on the shoulder or a smoothing of their hair as well, and she couldn’t help but feel that the prince had known them since they were screaming children. Finally, a woman who appeared to be the oldest seamstress approached Loki. He smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she couldn’t help but turn away as he got down on one knee and gave the grizzled old woman a tight hug. There was a sanctity to the gentle touch when it came from the cold prince, and it wasn’t her place to gawk at a scene that felt so private it reminded her of the passing of a loved one.

Eventually, Loki walked over and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She could feel the subtle shift in him; he was more at home here than he was anywhere else in the palace.

“We’re going.” He carefully lead her out of the room, pushing open the door as a chorus of goodbyes came from the seamstresses. When he closed the door, she could almost see his walls rising once more. “I’m afraid my Mother has demanded that I spend the day with you. So, I’m taking you outside.” She lightened up as she followed him through the hallways, a spring appearing in her step. “Do you know how to ride a horse?” She nodded, and he nodded thoughtfully in return. “Good.”

They walked in silence. They did not throw any mockery back and forth as they walked through the halls; she knew he was still basking in the joy of visiting the seamstresses, and he was still caught up in his emotions. The torches faded to the light cast through the windows once again, and she couldn’t help but childishly hop over each shadow into one of the lights cast across the floor. Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he didn't comment.

When they stepped outside, she visibly relaxed. She stood still, running her feet over the stones that made up the walkway and the weeds that had sprung up between them. She laughed, hopping from one stone to the next as they made their way to the stables. Loki shook his head as he followed behind her. When he entered the stables, she was shifting the hay about underneath her feet with a kind of glee he doesn’t understand as she slid over to a horse. He watched as she gently pets the nose of the steed, and he couldn’t help but internally soften a little at the pure joy written across her face. Loki strode over to his horse, slipping into the stall and beginning to saddle the stallion.

“ _Which horse do I get? Am I riding with you? I don’t need a saddle,_ ” she quickly said as she hopped up onto the stall door and leaned on the top of it with a grin.

“I can’t understand you. If you find a horse that will let you ride it, take it. Otherwise you’ll ride with me.” She hooted with joy, laughing as she hopped down from stall door and sent hay flying left and right as she ran. He rolled his eyes and stroked the neck of his horse, humming softly as he smoothed the glossy black coat. As he prepared the equipment and tightens the saddle, he heard a neigh from in front of him.

She was sitting there, perched on a Palomino horse without a saddle or a bridle. She looked rather proud of herself; the mare was indifferent as she whinnied a greeting to Loki’s stallion.

“You are not riding bareback.” She frowned and stuck her tongue out him, pressing her heels into the sides of her mare and trotting off smugly. He growled and leapt onto his stallion, swinging open the stall door with a burst of magic and following her out.

She took off at a gallop, and he groaned in frustration as he urged his stallion to chase the mare. She was whooping, both of her arms in the air as she laughed into the wind. Loki frowned, leaning in closer to the neck of his friesian as he gained on her and the mare.

They were getting far away from the stables; the scenery was bound to change into hills at any moment. He urged on his horse while she went just as fast as ever. He soon came up beside her, and he slowly sat upright as he prepared himself. With a quick wave of his hands and a simple spell, the two horses began to slow and he snatched her off of the back of the mare. She screamed in surprise, wiggling in his grasp as she reflexively struggled to free herself.

With a loud flurry of feathers, two wings sprouted from her back and Loki let go of her in shock.

He brought his horse to a stop as she maintained flight, wings pounding frantically as she flitted back over to her mare, her wings letting her easily glide down and come to a seated position. They stared at each other, Loki’s eyes wide as she sat there with two glorious magpie wings slightly spread to accommodate the horse beneath her. Neither of them said a word; she was scared out of her mind and cursing her reflex, and he was wondering how this was possible in the first place. He suddenly remembered the small painting he found in her bag. It was her sitting by that river underneath that tree. She was telling the truth.

Vindrheim was real.

The one thing he had never expected from this day was for his fairytales to appear in the form of a wild girl who acted far before she thought.

“Norns below, I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” he breathed as she uncomfortably shifted her wings about. She despised the feeling of being gawked at. With a huff her wings retract back into her body, leaving her with more weight sitting around her hips and waist. “How does it all work?” She was silent for a long moment, staring pointedly at him. Eventually, he remembered she couldn’t reply to him and he sighed heavily in frustration. “Right.”

She carefully steered her mare over to a tree and dismounted by using a few low hanging branches as stepped to compensate for her height. When she hit the ground, she let out a soft grunt and looked around, digging her toes into the dirt and grass around the base of the tree. Loki couldn’t help but suddenly wonder if she had spent most of her life in the air and that was why she had such a penchant for feeling everything with her feet first. As she sat down, Loki brought over his stallion and tied him to the tree before tying her mare to his horse. Loki carefully took a seat next to her, moving slowly as if he was afraid she was going to lash out.

“I don’t suppose I could see your wings again?” She glanced over at him as she leaned her back up against the tree, staring out into the distance. She eventually shook her head. They sit there in the silence, Loki’s mind grasping for something to preoccupy himself. Eventually, his eyes landed on the wooden bracelet around her wrist. He had seen it in her bag, and now she was wearing it. He had initially taken it to mean she was a lower class in her homeland, but now he was uncertain. “What’s the significance of your bracelet?”

“Wing colors,” she coolly replied as she twirled a strand of grass around her finger and pressed her hand into the dirt.

“Who gave it to you?”

“Stop,” she growled, closing her eyes and letting her head drop back. “Be quiet.” He opened his mouth in frustration, but she cut him off before he could speak. “Just listen.”

He almost rebelled, yelled, mocked her for wanting silence with how much she chattered away without sense.

But some quiet voice in the back of his head murmured that maybe he needed to stop for a moment, to cease mocking and perhaps try something this fairytale of a girl said. So he dropped back his head and closed his eyes, and Loki listened.

Hours later, when the sun had begun setting, she stood and motioned for him to do the same, and they rode back with a fragile silence hanging between the two of them that threatened to break at any moment if so much as a sigh slipped out.

He couldn’t help but think that she was far too wild and fast-burning for a girl who would sit under a tree with pure childish glee. 


	9. is this what not quite hating each other feels like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everybody, it's me back with a weekly update! i hope y'all are doing well, haven't really got much to say at the moment, i have two finals tomorrow, just started another antibiotic, not much out of the ordinary! i do want to say thank you to y'all for 81 kudos and over 1,200 hits, i'm really happy that y'all seem to be enjoying this so far! if i remember, we're starting to actually get into this dynamic between our gal and loki, and i'm excited for y'all to see the chapters coming in the upcoming weeks!! hope y'all enjoy this week's chapter!

In the morning, a set of basic leathers were delivered to her door by one of the younger seamstresses.

 

“ _Thank you, _ ” she softly murmured as the seamstress handed over the outfit with a smile. They bow to each other and she carefully closed the door on her way out. Humming softly, she wandered into her room and began stripping down to just the bare essentials. Worming her way into the leathers, she hummed as she pulled on a pair of thin fingerless gloves that had also been in the pile. She still had no shoes, but she enjoyed that. Shoes were a barrier between her and another sense, another way to tell what was coming. 

 

Walking into the bathroom, she looked herself over in the mirror. She felt better than before, for lack of a better descriptor, dressed in something so fresh and clean that it made her lift her head a little higher, smile a little bit wider. Rolling her shoulders, she fetched her discarded clothing from her bedroom and brought it into the bathroom, dumping the outfit next to the sink with a heavy sigh. Pulling her fingerless gloves off with her teeth, she dropped them on the other side of the sink. Listening for a moment, she carefully shut the door and let her wings out through the ever so thoughtfully provided hole in the back of her leathers.

 

There was a sort of comfort, knowing the prince was aware of her wings. There was also a distinct cathartic satisfaction to proving him wrong, teaching him that Vindrheim was real and her home to boot. Turning the water on in the sink, she began washing her tank top with the bar of soap she had been provided with. As she scrubbed away at the caked layers of dirt and dust, she let her wings fan out and stretch. After spending nearly three weeks healing, they were aching and sore in all the wrong places. She would kill for a set of skilled hands to massage out the pains, but she wasn’t exactly able to find someone to do that in Asgard.

 

She let her mind wander as the water in the sink turned a dark brown, the dirt swirling away as she vigorously scrubbed at the fabric of her top. She had been gone for nearly three weeks. She had probably around two days before the academy’s mandated break ended. She swallowed, pushing down the rising anxieties. She had never checked into the hotel, and she had never picked up her luggage. So, her luggage was probably sitting back at the academy due to the collection policies of hotels. She slowly exhaled, squeezing the water out of her tank top before returning to scrubbing off the dirt.

 

Eleanor. Eleanor was probably worried out of her mind. She never failed to tell Eleanor if she was going to be late, and she usually sent her some trinkets and a postcard or five. Eleanor would be through the roof with the utter radio silence coming from her roommate. On the other hand, that meant that someone would come to Asgard to pick her up. Eleanor would make sure of it.

 

She was jerked out of her head as the water in the sink turned freezing cold, and she jumped in surprise. There was a chuckle from the doorway and her head whipped about. Loki was standing there, his magic still lingering around his hand. Now that she could pay attention, his magic had a clear, distinct smell to it. It was fresh, cold, with an almost icy note to it. It wasn’t unpleasant, and it was hard to detect without searching for it. She stared at him as he casually leaned against the doorway, his posture relaxed and almost lazy. He cocked his head to the side curiously as she wrung out her top and draped it across the counter to dry.

 

“It would be easier to throw that out than try to save that stained disaster,” he commented and she growled as she pulled on the fingerless gloves. “It would be,” he said. “That disgrace of a garment was so stained with all of the grime on it that it would be better suited to the likes of Hel.” She rolled her eyes as she stretched her wings out to their full span, feeling the muscles burn with the stretch.

 

“Stop talking,” she growled under her breath as she proceeded to carefully stretch her wings out.

 

“Can’t be helped. Mother has assigned me the position of training you back to full health. Thor would break you to pieces within a day with his outrageous hammer.” She snorted with slight amusement at that one, shaking her head as she carefully ran her hands through her feathers and realigned them, carefully preening. 

 

“ _You’re either bitingly cruel or strangely amusing, and I’m afraid I can’t decide which one I prefer, _ ” she commented as one of her down feathers came loose. She frowned, and with a soft mutter and a quickly drawn symbol in the air, the feather floated to the ground in flames which she quickly snuffed with a hard hit from her bare heel.

 

“That seems rather unnecessary,” Loki commented as he crossed his arms over his chest. She glared up at him, and he sighed dramatically. “Right. You don’t have the vocabulary to explain your actions, as per usual.” He glanced up at her wings, and shifted his weight off of the wall as he took a curious step forward. “I don’t suppose you would want me to help you with your wings?” He was nowhere near her, but she jerked so she was farther away from him than they started. 

 

“No,” she growled as her wings hurriedly snapped back into her body, adding a little more weight to the rolls about her stomach. “No,” she said more calmly as she ran a hand through her hair and shook her body with a huff. He frowned, but he stood down. Loki was curious about how her wings functioned, their ins and outs. But she was holding back. So he respected it, let it become part of the tentative almost friendship they’re forming between the two of them. A bit less mocking, a little more silence.

 

“Are you going to finish whatever it is you’re doing within the century? I’d like get to what we’re being forced to do before my birthday comes around again.” She laughed almost bitterly, flexing her fingers nervously. She breezed past him without a word, slipping through the doorway without once brushing against him. He followed her into her room as she searched around for her leather bag, humming softly to herself. When she does find her bag with a triumphant twitter of joy, she reached in and pulled out her dagger and sheath, quickly slipping the thick leather strap around her waist and tightening it so it wouldn’t move.

 

“ _Are we leaving or what? Because I’d like to spend as little time with you as possible. You’re better in small doses, _ ” she teased even knowing he couldn’t understand a word she was saying. He calmly rolled his eyes, letting out a mocking sigh. 

 

“I still cannot for the life of me understand you. And you still blather onwards, day in and day out, using a language I cannot even vaguely pronounce.” She genuinely laughed at that one, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she threw her head back. It was high pitched but by no means tinny; it was somehow almost as sing-song as her speech. Loki couldn’t help but let the smallest hint of a smile make its way onto his face as he watched her. Her amusement was thoroughly contagious, he concluded. “Alright, we really must be going now.” She nodded and started to follow Loki as he opened her bedroom door and walked out into the hallway. 

 

Now that she was almost fully functional movement wise, she was perking up. She moved more, speeding ahead of Loki as he walked and then spending a moment or two merely staring at the light cast across the floors of the halls. She still hadn’t requested shoes; Loki was intrigued as to why. He had instructed Eira not to bring the girl shoes unless she asked, and she clearly had not asked. She still ran on bare feet, her heart devoid of fear as she walked among the light and dug her toes into any surface that would give. 

 

“ _Hey, little space boy, come on home, _ ” she half sang. Loki appeared spaced out as he walks, and the first lines of the old song seemed fitting for him. He looked over at her and for a moment, he saw the legends. With the light streaming in through the window, she appeared haloed in light for a split second, and he considered that with her wings out he could easily mistake her for an angel. He quirked an eyebrow, his mind still working on processing the fact that the storybooks Frigga had read him in his childhood were real, living, breathing people.

 

“Do you even know where you’re going?” She stopped to think before shrugging and moving to fall into line beside Loki. He rolled his eyes as he leads her to the training arena, his hands loosely clasped behind his back as he lead her off into a more private area. “Now, because my oaf of a brother would shatter you instantly with his idiotic hammer, I have to spend even more time with you than I would like.” Loki summoned his daggers with a wave of his hands, and she quickly pulled hers from the sheath, tossing it from one hand to the other.

 

He moved first. 

 

An arching strike, a wide circle as she ducked underneath and moved to simply nick his pants. A warning without wound. He danced away, a smirk on his face. She struck forwards, a quick stabbing motion to his chest. He caught her in an arm bar and she winced, feeling the pain creep in. If she trusted her legs she would swing them up and catch his head, but she was still far too shaky to pull off a move like that. With a jerk of her arm, she managed to bend her elbow enough to slide free and moved to dodge behind the prince. 

 

He was there waiting for her, the point of one of his knives ready to line up with the hollow of her throat. She grabbed his wrist and twisted it sharply as she moved backwards just enough to not nick her neck before quickly hitting the inside of his arm so the dagger he had been holding in his right hand clattered to the floor. She swooped in and picked it up, tossing it far away from both of them so they were now equal. Loki raised an eyebrow and nodded curtly as he lunged forward, sliding across the ground towards his other dagger. She leapt onto his back and right as his fingers came within reach, she slammed her heel against the back of his hand and quickly threw the knife far away. 

 

Loki snarled in pain as his other hand grabbed her leg and yanked it out from underneath her, making her fall over onto her back and knocking the wind out of her. He quickly disarmed her and pinned her to the ground, straddling her chest with a satisfied smirk. She lifted her head to find his dagger pointed at her throat, and her head dropped back with a groan. 

 

Loki rolled off and helped her up before he handed her dagger back to her, and he moved away to fetch his own dagger. She hissed softly in pain as she stretched some, rolling her wrists and tilting her neck from side to side. 

 

“Are you alright to go another round? My mother would kill me if you were injured,” Loki calmly commented. She winced, cracking her back and and shaking her head. He frowned, raising his eyebrows, seeming fairly unimpressed. “Really? Only one round and you’re off your game?” Loki shook his head and clicked his tongue, making her growl and hold her dagger right at the level of his mouth. 

 

The threat was clear, and he held up his hands in a casual surrender.

 

She lowered the dagger, smirked, and without a single word she sheathed her weapon and left.


	10. no, i still want to stab your guts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's wednesday again! if i'm being honest i think i wrote this back in a depressive state in like january so like if this seems overly dramatic that's probably why asdfghjkl, sorry about that have a bunch of my metaphors to make up for it! i've got a question for y'all this week: would y'all be interested in seeing my playlists that i used to write this? some of the songs aren't up to date anymore because i started making them back when this was an AU of a 100k fic, but i'm still fond of a lot of the songs on them! also thank you all so much for almost 100 kudos, i really appreciate it!!! anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this week's chapter!

She awoke in the morning with a gentle shake of her shoulder and murmuring in a foreign tongue in the background. 

Rolling over, she rubbed at her eyes and slowly sat up with a soft groan. She slumped forward, back curved as she stared down at her hands with a quiet yawn. She could hear someone murmuring something to her, but she ignored it in favor of burying her face in her hands and taking a deep breath. Something today was off in her body, in her brain, and she needed to muster the power to start functioning.

“Miss, please. You need to get up to check the fit.” She turned her head and looked up at Eira before slowly nodding and cracking her back with a quick stretch. She slowly climbed out of bed, pressing her feet against the floor and stabilizing herself on the stone before tilting her head from side to side. One of the youngest seamstresses was standing there with a stack of dresses in her arms, smiling at the two of them.

“ _ Good morning, _ ” she murmured as she moves forward and whisked away the dresses from the young seamstress. Carefully setting them on the bed, she peeked at the corners of the fabric and smiled. “ _ Thank you. _ ” She turned to Eira, a smile on her face. “Thank you,” she murmured in Aesir. “The colors. Thank you.” The seamstress curtsied and smiled, looking up at Eira curiously. She asked a question in quick Aesir, and Eira bit down hard on her lower lip before shaking her head and sending back an equally rapid reply. The seamstress hummed thoughtfully before curtsying once more and leaving. Eira bent over, covering her mouth with her hand as she began to shake. “Are you quite alright?” She switched into Alltongue, dropping the deep blue-green robe Eira had delivered the night before

“She, I’m quite amused to report, believed that you and Prince Loki were betrothed.” She squawked indignantly as Eira began laughing, holding her gut as she struggled to not laugh so loud the entire castle heard her.

“Why? He despises me! I take almost every instance I can to insult him! Why in the realms would they think we’re betrothed?” Eira managed to get a grip on her laughter and evened out her breathing, turning to her.

“You asked for green dresses. Loki’s color was green, and wearing his color symbolizes that you’re either married to him or betrothed to him, and they would know first if he had married.” She groaned, pressing her face into the pile of dresses in exasperation.

“I have no plans to marry that snake of a man!” She hissed, pressing her face firmly into the fabric. Sighing, she lifted her head and picked up the first dress from the top of the pile. “Please, let’s just do this.”

The first dress was blue. It was a pale blue, the kind you would expect to see gracing the outside of robin’s egg in early spring before cracking open and freeing a baby bird. It was the blue that belonged to her skies, the blue that belonged to the eyes of her friend who she had been ripped away from suddenly. A wave of sorrow washed over her for a moment as she remembered Eleanor’s eyes, but she pushed it to the side with a sigh. Eira helped her put it on, lacing up the back but leaving room for her wings and making sure that the skirts were sitting properly. She felt like a cloud with all the fabric around her legs, robin’s egg blue and floating elegantly. Eira watched as she twisted about, the skirts flaring out with the force. 

“Does it fit?” she shrugged at Eira’s question, rolling her shoulders and running her hands across her bare arms. The sleeves were short, covering the tops of her shoulders and part of the sides. The back wasn't her favorite thing, but she supposed she would adjust. 

“I guess? It’s strange. Not at all like home. You Asgardians have such a strange sense of clothing. Back home, I could wear this to a semi-formal event and… what’s that word?” She pursed her lips, looking up at the ceiling with a furrowed brow. “Doesn’t matter. Point is, it would be fine.” Eira chuckled at that, watching the girl lift her skirts and drop them with a hum. 

“What do you normally wear? You’re the first person from Vindrheim in nearly four thousand years.” She shrugged, running her fingers along her neckline in an attempt to loosen it.

“Very different. Shirts, pants, tank tops…” she trailed off, gesturing vaguely. “It’s hard to explain when you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Eira shrugged, coming closer and carefully adjusting the dress. With a stretch, she let her wings spring from her back in a sudden flurry of iridescent black feathers and white ones as well. She let them spread wide open and gently move through the motions of flapping enough so she got a sense of the motion she was allowed by the fabric. “This isn’t bad.”

“Alright, miss.” Between the two of them, eventually she was wiggling out of the dress with Eira’s help and Eira was putting the dress in the closet before going back over to the pile. They spent a while repeating this over and over again, dress after dress after dress. By the time they’re halfway through, her closet was filled with mixtures of muted blues and golds and she was pulling her wings back in for convenience. Her closet wasn’t unpleasant to the eyes, but she would much rather have green smeared in there as well. That was what she missed about her home the most; here the trees were still budding, spring still working on blossoming into a full, green swing. She hummed softly as she looked at the few remaining dresses that laid on the bed quietly, relaxed and in no hurry to blunder through life like a furious storm. She swallowed heavily, and the freckled face of her friend swam into her head.

“ _ Damn it, Eleanor, I miss you, _ ” she whispered under her breath as she kneaded her palm nervously. The weight of her fear and the hole in her chest that Eleanor would fill with words of encouragement were threatening to buckle and break today, and she wanted to be alone in case of the fallout of her emotions. However, she knew she wouldn't be able to get the solitude she desired, so she had to be damage control as well as the threatened catastrophe. Wringing her hands, she sighed and tilted her head from side to side. 

“Miss, are you alright?” Something in her boiled over, and she dug her nails into her palms as tears welled in her eyes and a hand gently rapped against her door from the outside.

“Fuck,” she snarled as she flexed her hands aggressively. “Watcher, no. I miss Eleanor, and my home, and that stupid fucking academy,” she snarled as she began pacing back and forth. “And I want to be anywhere else but here, but I’m stuck!” She paused for a moment, and pulled on her discarded tank top and shorts with a huff. “I’m stuck here! I want to go home!” She screamed at the walls away from Eira, her face growing progressively redder as rogue tears began sliding down her cheeks. As she stood there, her body shaking with the loss and the fear that had built up over the past few weeks, her door swung open to reveal Loki, eyes blazing as if he had been the one wronged. 

“You lied,” he snarled as he stormed across the room and picked her up by the back of her tank top. She shrieked and jammed her heel back into his stomach, making him growl and drop her in surprise. Eira stepped back in surprise, dashing around the bed to the side farthest away from the pair as Loki summoned a dagger to his hand and pointed it accusingly at the girl, his jaw set in anger. “You’ve been a pest for the past month and lying because you felt like it! You child,” he spat out as her own dagger found its way to her hand.

“Shut up, you egotistical prince of asses! I don’t trust anyone in this damned palace!” She screamed as she lunged forward, slashing towards his arm. He was taken aback, and she quickly drove him into the hallway, teeth bared and tears rolling freely down her cheeks. She moved quickly enough that he was left stumbling to counter as she shrieked at the top of her lungs and drew the attention of the guards standing at the ends of the halls and the maids in the other corridors.

“Stop fighting,” he snarled as he got in a blow, drawing blood from a new shallow slash across the outside of her arm.

“ _ I won’t stop fighting until I get to go home _ !” she screamed in Alltongue, her chest heaving as her dagger cut open Loki’s sleeves with two quick slashes. “Maybe I am a child! How would you feel if you spent two days in nothing? How would you feel if I threw you into a world where there’s nobody who speaks your mother tongue? How would you feel if I threw you somewhere that you’ve never been with half of your damn body shattered into pieces and you had to be in debt to people who seem to despise everything about you?” 

She was screaming in his face at this point, her face soaked with tears. Her entire body was quivering with anger, and the guards were watching in wonder as this girl who was more than a foot shorter than their dark prince screamed in the face of royalty with no fear as her fingers buzz with raw magic. The maids were busy fretting, hoping she didn't hurt their prince as blood ran down her arm and dripped from her fingers onto the shadows beneath the pair on the stone floor. Loki was shocked at this point, his face still etched with anger as she let out a month of fear and hurt and raw anger at everything around her. The air reeked of soured honeysuckle, the scent swirling about her like a dust cloud and fogging her thought.

They stared at each other for a few moments, faces twisted with burning emotions that threatened to swallow them both whole in a forest fire of their injustices. They could both hear the running in the distance, but for the moment they ignored it in favour of their quarrel. 

She drew her hand back and slapped him across the face with a snarl, sending him stumbling back as a jolt of her wild magic ran through his body. A feminine voice commanded the entire hallway to silence.

“That is quite enough!” There was a pair of rough arms twisting her dagger from her hand and sending it clattering to the floor as Thor picked her up off the floor with a scream on her part as she mindlessly kicked her legs in an attempt to struggle free while Frigga was dragging Loki away from Thor and the girl so there was room between the two of them. “I don’t suppose either of you would care to explain yourselves?” 

“Your son, pardon my tongue your Majesty, is an ass who listens at the doors of others and feels wronged when I never told a single lie,” she spat as she struggled in Thor’s grasp. She didn’t bother to speak in Old Norse, knowing that her cover was blown and she might as well use Alltongue, Allspeak, whatever this realm called it. “Eira can testify to my word, I do believe.” Loki turned to his mother, and the girl could see him changing his demeanor.

“I do believe I might partially at fault here, Mother,” he gently said and the girl shuddered. She could hear the same velvet tone he tried to use on Eira to convince her to accept schooling, and she still didn’t like it. “I did draw first.”

“You also burst into my room with no sense of boundaries and lifted me off the ground!” She shrieked as she writhed about in Thor’s rough grasp. “I just want to go home, for Watchers sake. I just want to go home,” she whispered the last part, and the entire hallway could watch her fire drain as she started shaking, her head dropping down to her chest as her legs stopped kicking back and forth in her struggle as her flame shrank down to a small candle sheltered by a soft hand against a torrent of water.

“Loki. Go, I will join you,” Frigga commanded. The dark prince stared at the girl being held back in the shadow as the light from the windows pooled around him. Just like that, she had been reduced to a pitiful display of tears and fears as she was held a foot above the ground and became unable to let her drive take root. “Go,” Frigga said with a bit more force, and Loki quickly nodded and briskly walked away, the sun warming the top of his head and his back as he went. “Thor, carry her in.” He did, setting her on the bed carefully and stepping away. “Leave us.” He opened his mouth as if to protest, but Frigga quickly cut him off. “Thor. Go.” With a huff the older prince left, closing the door behind him.

Eira had begun wrapping the girl’s cut, wiping away the blood with a rag and carefully wrapping the gash in heavy bandages. She was rocking back and forth, the one arm extended for Eira to patch up while the other held her knees to her chest. She looked up at Frigga, eyes red from tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please, I just want to go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psst if you wanna hit me up on tumblr, once again i'm captainbushel.tumblr.com feel free to drop by and just talk to me about this fic i'll do my best to respond!


	11. brother knows best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's... thursday? i'm so sorry about the late update guy, some things came up yesterday and i was unexpectedly unable to update. but i'm here now! in the aftermath of the drama that was last week's chapter, as well as some other gears beginning to turn. thank you all so much for over 100 kudos once again, i hope you all continue to enjoy!

The gardens were mostly silent the day after the scuffle in the hallway that had sent gossip throughout the castle about the visitor, who she was, where she came from.

The king and queen walked among the budding greenery, quietly talking to each other.

“She has promised that something like that will not happen again, Odin.” A pause in the conversation. “Loki does not wish to punish her.” Another silence from Odin, and Frigga frowned in frustration.

“Do you have an idea on when she can depart?” Frigga pressed her lips together tightly, kneading at her palms nervously.

“She cannot depart. She claims to be from Vindrheim, and we cannot kick her out in good conscience.” Odin frowned, looking up at the sky with a furrowed brow. “As it is, I do believe she would be good for Loki. He takes in information constantly, but there are lessons he needs to learn that books alone cannot teach.”

“So, you intend to keep her here.” Frigga nodded, lacing her fingers together anxiously. “As long as she does not cause a commotion, she may remain.” Frigga’s face softened, and she pressed a soft kiss to her husband’s cheek.

“Thank you, dearest. I will do my best to make sure our youngest son doesn’t fight her in hallways anymore.” Odin smiled at that, kissing his wife’s cheek in return.

“You taught our sons to fight and kept them from tearing each other apart. I trust you can restrain one girl.” Frigga laughed at that, lacing her hand with her husband’s. They continued to walk, holding a gentle silence between the two of them that was infused with quiet affection.

-

She didn’t know what to do.

She had acted far before she thought, and now she had lost him because she was sentimental and sorrowed. Growling, she pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead as she ignored the burning in her arm. He had left a shallow slash on her nondominant hand, blessedly missing anything that would severely impair her motions beyond the healing of the cut. It was a bitter reminder that she had once again lashed out, and she had gotten what she deserved.

“Miss, if you’re going to leave your room you need something other than you tank top-” She cut off Eira with a wave of her hand.

“Leathers. My leathers.” Eira hesitated, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“Miss, you will cause another stir if you wear your leathers. The typical acceptable dress is well, a dress.” She groaned, burying her face in her hands before taking a deep breath and looking at Eira.

“I’ve already attacked one of the princes in the hallway and screamed in his face. I don’t think I can cause much more of a stir.” She thought for a moment, a small smile appearing on her lips. “Anyways, Asgard needs someone to keep them on their toes.” Eira chuckled at that one and hesitantly fetched the leathers, helping the girl into them. “I’m going to talk to Thor.” She pulled on the fingerless gloves and stretched her back, listening to the bones pop.

“You intend to ask him how to best reconcile with his brother?” She nodded, running her fingertips over the space on her leathers where underneath sat her bandages. She knew the cut would heal quickly, but Eira had insisted on the bandages and she hadn’t had the energy to fight back.

“Loki was just becoming tolerable,” she murmured under her breath as she flexed her fingers absentmindedly. “He interests me. A prince with a penchant for books and feats of magic is fairly uncommon.” She shrugged as she looks up at Eira. “He tolerated me, and I would rather spend time with him than Thor and his posse of drinking buddies.” She walked towards the door as Eira nodded, resting her gloved hand against the wood with a sigh.

“Good luck.” She laughed, pushing open the door and stepping into the hallway.

“Thank you, Eira.” With that she took off, briskly walking down the hallway. She knew the way to the training area now, between her skirmish with Thor and then with Loki. It was not a familiar path, but one walked enough times to leave a deer trail in her memory, a suggestion of directions. Her bare feet hurried across the stone, the bottoms warmed by the sun-heated stone beneath her. It was pleasant, but she preferred the shadowed stone that still gave off a cool touch with every brush of her feet against it.

When she arrived at the training area, she leaned against the archway and looked across the open area. It wasn’t full of people, but it wasn’t empty by any accounts. People were talking around the edges, sparring, stretching, going about their lives. It was strangely soothing to watch life go on as normal for the Asgardians when her life had been sent into a tailspin.

Thor was easy to spot. He was tall, loud, and all of his motions screamed his presence into the air without a care in the world. It was almost laughable how easy that boy was to spot. She took a deep breath, and she stepped down from the hallway into the training area. Skirting along the wall, she only catched a few glances from the sparring Asgardians. She felt like she stuck out, a bracelet of bronze in a jewelry display of brilliant gems and glittering gold. She lingered on the wall near Thor’s sparring session with the lady warrior, Sif, she remembered with curt nod to herself, watching as they clashed against each other. When Sif overpowered the prince, she laughed and claps.

“Bravo!” Thor’s companions turned their heads towards her as she came off of the wall and approached the group. “You fight well,” she commented to Sif as she tried to ignore the soft accent she knew she has. It had always felt far more prominent when she tried talking to people for the first time. “I’m afraid I would like to borrow Prince Thor, if he so agrees.” Thor laughed, twirling his hammer about with a nod.

“It would be no trouble, my lady.” She smiled, quietly clasping her hands behind her back. “Do you wish to fight or to talk?” she chuckled, ghosting her fingers over where her bandages laid.

“Your brother has given me enough fighting for a little while. I just want to talk.” The prince nodded to his friends, and gestured for her to lead the way. She lead him out of the training area, but she hesitated when she reaches the hallway.

“What was it that you wanted to talk about?” She glanced over her shoulder at Thor, and began walking slowly in a random direction.

“Your insufferable brother.” Thor was quiet for a moment, falling into place beside her as she strolled across the stone floors.

“You fancy him?” She choked on her own spit, coughing and hacking for a moment before composing herself. She looked at him with her face twisted in a mixture of shock and disgust.

“Watcher above, never in a thousand years. I would sooner anchor myself to the bottom of the ocean than to the prince of asses.” Thor laughed at that, throwing his head back. It clicked in her head that although Loki was different in almost every way from Thor, their carefree laugh held the same joy.

“His heart is fickle as it is. He’s married to his books,” Thor said offhandedly and she chuckled softly.

“Books aren’t a bad thing to be married to. Never have to worry about them being unfaithful, and they don’t fuss.” She shrugged and Thor clapped her on the shoulder, making her stumble forward in surprise.

“You should have him show you the library! You are fluent in at least one language in those books, so he will be able to find something for you.” She nervously chuckled, humming and tilting her head from side to side.

“Maybe. The issue is, I’m not entirely sure how to talk to him. You know, there’s only so much friendship that you can keep when you attack someone with a dagger in a hallway.” Thor was silent at that, nodding as the pair continue to walked aimlessly. A few guards look their way, but overall they are undisturbed as they stroll.

“Apologize to my brother.” She looked up at Thor in surprise, raising her eyebrows as the older prince spoke. “He is the god of lies and mischief. He despises being lied to and outsmarted, he always has. If you apologize, he’ll still be himself but his grudge will fade if given time and friendship.” She swallowed and nodded, watching as Thor threw his hammer into the air and deftly caught the handle.

“I wasn’t even angry at him. I… I just miss home. I miss the food, the air, the sky, my friend, my school even,” she said as her voice slowly got louder with each item. “I never meant to leave.” She paused, staring up at one of the small windows near the ceiling that let in the light of the sun. “And now, I never have the choice to go back. Home is gone.” Thor stopped in his tracks, turning to face her.

“I’m sure you’ll find home again, my lady.” She smiled bitterly, shrugging and continuing to stare at the soft light filtering in through the window. She crossed her arms over her chest as she closed her eyes, letting the light warm her face.

A cloud passed over the sun, and she opened her eyes at the loss of warmth. Frowning, she looked at Thor and swallowed around the lump of sentiment sitting in her throat.

“Perhaps. So, Prince Thor, your advice is that I apologize?” The blonde prince nodded, a smile spreading across his face.

“He may not talk to me, but a few centuries of childhood does help me out,” he said and she laughed.

“I suppose it would. Thank you, Prince Thor.” He laughed, waving his hand dismissively.

“Please my lady, just Thor.” She smiled, raising an eyebrow and cocking her head to the side.

“Alright, Sir Thor.” He laughed, and with a bow she quickly walked away. She needed to figure out how she was going to do this.

-

Eleanor was at the end of her rope.

The past week had been a flurry of phone calls, questions, tears, work, and anxiety. She had notified the police about her friend’s sudden disappearance, and her parents were busy pulling every string within their grasp to help.

She knew it cost money, and lots at that, but she didn’t care.

More accurately, she cared, but not more than she cared about seeing her best friend’s tired face in the morning as she went about getting dressed for the day, organizing her papers and brushing her mess of hair out of her eyes. Or the way she would bundle herself up in three blankets and a sweater when winter hit full swing. She wanted those back.

She needed those back. She needed it desperately, more than she had ever desired something in her life. Maybe it was the residue of their relationship, but she was Eleanor’s best friend through and through to begin with, and Eleanor wouldn’t let that slip through her fingers like sand. That side of the room was still covered with the signs she had left behind, clothing laying around in piles, sheets of paper scattered across the desk with cramped handwriting in an assortment of Vindrese and Alltongue and small doodles in the margins. Textbooks laid open, constantly shifting sigils on the pages staring blankly at the ceiling. Worst of all, the room reeked of honeysuckle, a bitter reminder of the girl who used to stare out the window at the stars, praying her travel visas would go through so that she could see everything the realms had to offer her, and she could give back what she had.

Eleanor wiped away a stray tear rolling down her cheek before adjusting the cuffs of her shirt and rolling her shoulders to make sure it sat well around her blue jay wings.

It was not the time to cry. She was being handed a string her parents had pulled on with their connections, and they’ve gotten her into the office of perhaps the one woman who could help Eleanor find her friend. She tracked all energy flares of portals, no matter how small, registered or not.

If someone could help her, Valencia Graves would be the one.


	12. cat and mouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's wednesday everyone! thanks for sticking with me after last week's late update, things have been a little bit rocky lately and the fact that people are still reading means the world to me! anyways, please leave comments with your thoughts on this latest chapter, i love hearing from you all!

She was desperately trying to apologize to Loki, but he seemed to care more for playing with emotions like a cat grabbing a mouse before letting go and catching it once more.

It was downright infuriating. 

She had seen him out of the corner of her eyes roaming the castle, so she had naturally followed him in hopes of apologizing. Whenever she arrived in an empty hallway, he would be standing there with a quite smug expression on his face and disappear with a wave of green, revealing himself to be just an illusion. That had happened three times in one singular day before she learned to walk the other direction and follow the icy scent of his magic. 

She failed like clockwork every time she decided to pursue. 

They more he misled her and kept her away, the more she wanted to punch him in the face instead of apologize. Holding her at a distance was a good way to find himself at the receiving end of her knife once more instead of in her good graces. She didn’t even want to fight him. She wanted to be able to talk with him, to have contact with someone in this forsaken realm. She was so desperate for touch at this point that if someone ran their hands through her hair she might melt into them. 

She was tired, sad, and she just wanted to go home. Without Loki dropping by everyday and taking her someplace, she had nothing. She was small, alone, and utterly dwarfed in this land of giants. Eira towered over her, Loki was tall enough she had to crane her head back to look him in the eyes. Thor was a true giant, so tall that she had to strain to look at him because she only came up to around his chest. 

With every towering giant that passes her by, she felt smaller, less significant, more invisible among the Asgardians. 

She felt less like a bird with its own agency and more like a bug that had to dodge the crushing boots of guards to maids to high class ladies to preserve its lifespan, no matter how short. It was a terrifying feeling, being such a staggering mix of invisible and unimportant. It hammered home the message that she didn’t belong there at all, not one bit. She was used to being a few inches shorter than everyone, but here she felt like a child venturing to the adult’s table before being laughed away. She was a mouse among a castle full of cats, and she was wary of the day they stopped licking their lips and start digging their claws into her.

It was only the second day of this imposed isolation that she just sat in bed when Eira woke her up, staring at the wall blankly. Her forced routine had kept her running, but now without her princely leash, she was contained in the golden walls of the palace that seemed to be pressing in around her. She needed her freedom, whether it was horseback riding with Loki or taking breaks from the academy to fly through the nearby trees.

“Miss, you need to do something,” Eira commented as she gently squeezed the girl’s shoulder. She hummed and tilted her head from side to side, pulling her knees in against her chest and hugging them tightly.

“I can’t,” she bitterly said as she let her head drop back with a slow exhale. “I can’t go anywhere without that damned snake, and he’s impossible to pin down. He tricked me three times yesterday by sending an illusion through the hallways and making me follow it. And when I tried to follow the magic back to the source-” she punched the mattress, ignoring the slight burn along her quickly healing cut. “-he was long gone.” Scoffing, she swung her legs off of the bed and shuffled over to the closet and began flicking through her dress options. “So unless you have an idea…?” She looked over her shoulder at Eira, raising an eyebrow curiously. She was willing to do anything to be on speaking terms with Loki at this point. Eira nervously swallowed, shifting her weight back and forth.

“There is a possibility, a possibility, miss, that I could arrange for you to have an impromptu tea with Queen Frigga. She would know what to do about Prince Loki.” She smiled at Eira and grabbed a dress from the closet, the pale blue one she had first tried on. She knew it would show off the bandage still wrapped around her arm, but she didn’t care.

“I don’t suppose you could do that for me? I’m willing to make amends for my freedom,” she softly asked, eyes widening and brows slightly furrowing to give her an almost pleading look. Eira laughed softly, nodding and walking towards the door. 

“Yes, miss.” With that the door swung open and then closed behind Eira, leaving the girl alone in the room. She sighed as she looked at the dress, pulling off her shorts before worming her way into the dress. She pulled on the skirts, flattening them with a few passes of her hands across the fabric as she carefully made her way into the bathroom to try and lace up her dress herself. 

It was a task, but eventually she had them tight enough that the dress won’t fall off of her easily. She stared at herself in the mirror, twirling back and forth slightly. She wouldn’t openly admit it, but she did enjoy the occasional dress from time to time. 

She paused as she stared at herself in the mirror before she let her wings come forward, sticking out through the panel on the back of the dress she had requested on all of her clothing. She didn’t look half bad if she said so herself; she almost looked royal in this outfit. Walking back into her room, she pulled out a pale, golden drape and wrapped it around her shoulders, adjusting the fabric to cover her shoulders and part of her arms before hanging loosely between her arms and her sides. She sat down on the edge of her bed and began to wait for Eira to return. Soon, the door did swing open, and Eira’s eyes widened slightly as she curtsied and gestured to the hallway. 

“If you don’t mind me saying miss, you look very royal in that outfit.” She chuckled slightly as Eira shut the door behind her and she walked out into the hallway, loosely shrugging as she pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“If I’m going to dress up, I might as well look damn good along the way, no?” Eira smiled at that and began leading the way to wherever she happened to be meeting the queen. She could feel eyes on her wings as the feathers shushed against each other with every step she took, but she managed to restrain herself from looking about and finding the gazes. She does spot one guard gawking rather a lot, and with a smirk and subtle set of rapid hand gestures, his jaw shut with help of a golden thread holding his lips together. She laughed when he looked at her in surprise, pausing for a moment to let her magic dissolve before hurrying along and following Eira.

Eira paused in front of a set of tall doors and gently knocked, and the door swung open onto a small patio-like area clearly made for socializing in a “proper” manner. 

Her eyes widened as she spotted green land, and she rushed forward across the empty patio, quickly dropping her shawl on an open chair and half diving into the garden the patio was on the edge of. Her smile stretched from ear to ear as she slowly spun around, drinking in the budding trees and shrubs, her feet digging into the young grass with a laugh as she stroked the leaf of a plant she remembered from one of her journeys into other realms. If she remembered correctly, it was from Midgard. She took a deep breath and her wings spread wide open as she looked up at the sky. It was covered in pale grey clouds, and if she breathed in deeply she could smell the rain coming.

“It seems that you’re enjoying yourself.” She whipped around in surprise as Frigga walked out onto the patio, her wings quickly folding on her back. Her eyes become even wider when she spots Loki, stopped in shock in the doorway. He stared her in the eyes, and she rushed up onto the patio to turn towards Frigga. Loki held up a hand in hesitation, but she could tell he was still shocked by something. 

“You didn’t tell me she would be here,” Loki said to Frigga. Frigga calmly sat down at a small table, humming softly.

“Well, at least you haven’t forgotten about me entirely,” she muttered under her breath as she crossed her arms over her chest. “The arm, I can forgive. But leading me through the hallways with illusions for a day? Your Highness, that is downright rude.” He scoffed, and she fidgeted with edge of her bandage. “If it makes you feel better, Prince Loki, I had no idea you would be here either. In fact, I came to talk with Queen Frigga…” she trailed off, and found that Eira has evacuated the scene. “Eira.” Loki’s eyes shone with something she couldn’t quite pin down, but she thought it might be pride.

“One day, I’ll send that girl to school.” Loki looked down at her, and she caught his Adam’s apple bob once. “I’m afraid I must take my leave, Mother. Goodbye.”

“Wait one-” he disappeared before she could grab his arm, and she hissed through clenched teeth. “Of course he can’t hold still for one moment.” She turned to Frigga and carefully smoothed the skirts of her dress before fetching her shawl from the chair and wrapping it around her shoulders, sitting down across from the queen. “My apologies, your Majesty.”

“For what?” Frigga asked with a tone of amusement, leaving the girl trying to think of what she was trying to apologize for. Surely she must have violated some law with the way she addressed the prince somewhere along the way. “You might have failed to properly address my son once, maybe twice, but I have no intentions of hanging you. I must say, you’ve brought a level of light and gossip to this castle that hasn’t been around in quite a while.” She flushed in embarrassment as Frigga carefully set her hands in her lap, looking over at the gardens with a content exhale.

“Your Majesty, I did attack your son.” Frigga raised an eyebrow and turned her head back to the girl.

“After he picked you up by the back of your top and yelled at you. In the end, he stung for maybe an hour. On the other hand your arm will probably scar, and that won’t be pleasant.” She glanced down at the bandage that covers her arm, and she shrugged. “And do call me Frigga.”

“My arm will be fine. I heal rapidly.” She nervously leaned forward, setting her elbows on the table and clasping her hands together. “I am afraid I had Eira arrange this for the sake of your advice.” Frigga hummed, leaning back slightly and smiling.

“You want help apologizing to my son.” She pondered the question for a moment, lips pressing together tightly. “If you don’t mind my asking, why did you hide your fluency in Alltongue? I doubt it was to annoy my son,” she commented with a humor to her tone.

“To be perfectly honest?” She pulled her hands apart, drumming her nails on the table and letting her wings nervously twitch, the feathers rustling against each other. “I do not trust anyone in this palace.” Frigga raised an eyebrow, and the girl took this as a cue to keep talking. “Speaking entirely Vindrese gave me a way to hide in plain sight. We’re supposed to be a legend according to your books, so being from Vindrheim made me impossible for you to guess. A rogue element.” She smiled up at the queen before her smile faltered and her eyes dart down to the table. “I’m just lucky I bothered learning any Aesir, Old Norse, whatever this region calls that language. Otherwise I would have been in a rather tight situation,” she said with a chuckle as she began nervously fidgeting with her hands. “Frigga, and I mean this politely, I didn’t come to make smalltalk. I would rather like help cornering your son and apologizing to him.”

“He is the god of mischief. He doesn’t like to be cornered,” Frigga mused softly. “But, if you take him by surprise, he’ll be in the library. Is that what you needed?” She nodded, standing up and walking around the table to Frigga. She curtsied the best she could before murmuring something under her breath. “May I ask what you said?” She looked up, a smile on her face.

“A prayer in my mother tongue for the Watcher to protect you.” She walked over to the door and pulls it open before turning to face Frigga again and curtsying once more. “Your Majesty.” 

With that, the girl left Frigga out on the patio, a soft drizzle of rain beginning to wet the dirt as the sun peeked through the clouds. When the queen turned her head back towards the gardens, a pale rainbow was standing against the clouds.


	13. younger and wiser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's wednesday again! welcome to the chapter where i break canon over my knee and give loki a pan, trans goddaughter because i can so i will! i dont have much to say today, hope y'all enjoy!!!!

The girl might not have been good at finding Loki and talking to him before he ran away, but as his mother, that happened to be Frigga’s speciality.

The queen walked swiftly through the halls, kneading at her palms nervously. There had been times where Loki had been hard to find in the past, and she hoped this was not one of them. She stepped into the library first. She walked among the shelves, looking up at the tops of the towering pieces and checking every nook and cranny. This was where he usually retreated to, and it was her best bet to find him and talk some sense into him.

Loki wasn’t there. He wasn’t relaxed on a couch, nose in a book. He wasn’t perched on a shelf or curled up in an empty space, hiding from the world. Frigga sighed, pressing her lips into a thin line as she stared at a line of books, pondering where her son is. Turning around and beginning to walk from the library, she let her mind wander to where he could be.

As she briskly walked through the shaded hallways, listening to the gentle tap of rain from outside, she headed to his room. She knocked once, and then she knocked again. No response. She listened, and there was no gentle turning of the pages of some book or another. Sighing, she pressed her palm against the wood of the door and traced the grain. Her son was being difficult today, and she didn’t care for it. She racked her brains, trying to think of somewhere, anywhere that Loki would be.

After a moment, she took a deep breath and began quickly walking down towards the kitchens. She didn’t know where her son is, so it was time to consult the staff. Frigga was no fool; she knew that the staff of the palace saw more than anyone else did. She walked quickly, shoes clicking against the stone floors at a rapid tempo. Frigga silently watched as the light become artificial, listening to the sound of rain fade into the distance as she kept walking. There was a long hallway, but eventually she reached the end of it. The door was simple, sturdy wood, but she knew that in the wood was a sheet of metal. It was one of the stronger doors in the castle when it came down to it.

She pulled it open and stepped in, smiling as eyes turn to her. Frigga nodded to the cooks and serving girls, hating the way she felt out of place in her own kitchens. She supposed it was her own fault with how she distanced herself from the staff except in her times of need. She gently tapped a serving girl on the shoulder, and instantly the girl fell into a curtsy, eyes staring at the floor.

“Your Majesty. How can I assist you?” Frigga smiled.

“You may rise.” The girl stood upright, carefully clasping her hands in front of her. “I was wondering if perhaps there was any news on Loki. I’m afraid I can’t find him.” The girl nodded, turning her head away from the queen and pointing to a door. Frigga was slightly taken aback at how quick the answer was and how certain the girl was.

“Prince Loki is in there, Your Majesty.” Frigga smiled and nodded her head, walking over to the door and gently pushing it open.

It was a peaceful scene. Eira was sitting on a chair, legs crossed at the knees and her arms crossed over her chest. She was half awake, but she seemed to be lulled not by exhaustion but rather by the soft voice that was carefully reading. Loki was sitting on the floor, covered in small children. One was sitting on his shoulders, two were attached to his arms, one per arm, and there were three all nestled together in his lap. Many of them are nodding off, and the one sitting on Loki’s shoulders was hugging the prince’s head, fingers subconsciously twitching in his black hair. Frigga could feel the strength of the enchantment he was using to lull the children to sleep, and she couldn’t help but smile. She had used that same enchantment to lull Loki back into sleep in his childhood whenever he had nightmares, and it made her joyful to see him putting it to good use. He was reading a tale about Vindrheim; it was a fitting tale for the times.

Loki looked up as the door shut behind Frigga, and he quickly covered the surprise on his face with a pleasant smile. Frigga caught the look of surprise, and she swallowed. He knew she didn’t know about this activity. That made something in her ache slightly, knowing he was pulling away from her even if ever so slightly. She pushed down the worries with a reminder that Loki was growing older; it was perfectly normal for him to pull away slightly as he began to fill the skin of an adult.

Loki carefully shut the book, and Frigga noted Eira has fallen asleep on the chair, head dropped forward onto her chest. Loki began carefully removing the children from him, setting the one on his shoulders onto the ground with a quiet sigh. He uncurled the two children from his arms, and picking one of them up he began moving them into a pile of blankets in the corner. Frigga watched as he moves each of the children into the corner. The last child stirred in his arms, and turned their head to whisper into Loki’s ear.

“Is the girl from the sky people?” Loki hesitated, but eventually he nodded as he set down the child. “Thank you, Uncle Loki,” the child whispered as Loki pressed a kiss to their forehead. Frigga swallowed again, feeling a slight clench in her heart. He had been drifting for longer than she had guessed.

“You do well with them,” she whispered as he walked over to Eira, gently tapping her shoulder.

“Magic makes it easy,” he murmured in reply. Eira doesn’t wake, and he sighed and shook his head. “I’m assuming you’re going to tell me to talk to the girl.” Frigga nodded, nervously wringing her hands.

“She might have considered you a friend. You both rubbed each other the wrong way.” He sighed, picking up Eira and staring at the empty air for a moment. He shifted the weight of the girl in his arms, rolling his shoulders with a sigh.

“If she intends to apologize, tell her to try the library tomorrow morning. Now, I’m afraid I must take my leave for a while. There is someone waiting for Eira at home, and she needs to get home.” He craned his neck and pressed a kiss to Frigga’s cheek with a soft smile. “I’ll be back soon, Mother.” With that he teleported away and Frigga was left alone in the side room off of the kitchen, soft sighs coming from the pile of children in the corner that Loki had lulled to sleep. She shook her head, and with a new worry in her heart she turned and left the kitchen.

Loki stumbled slightly on the other side of his teleportation, unused to the extra weight in his arms. He was annoyed about having to deal with the girl once again, but at least he could have some time with someone he knew won’t annoy him. He walked further into the apartment he landed in, strolling into the small living room attached to the kitchen and setting down Eira.

There was a patter of feet, and a tall, skinny woman poked her head around the corner of the hallway that lead to another room. One of her dark brown eyes was clouded over, a jagged scar starting just above her eyebrow and running down and across her left eye to her jawline. She was dressed in a simple nightgown that allowed her a good range of motion and sat loosely on her petite frame. She blinked once before her mouth splits in a smile, coming around the corner at a breakneck speed and leaping at Loki with a loud laugh of joy. He deftly caught her by the waist and spun her around once before pulling her in and hugging her, ruffling her hair and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“Well, look who it is,” She crowed happily as he set her down. “Where have you been for the past couple of months? And it better be a good excuse to not visit your favorite goddaughter,” she called over her shoulder as she hurried into the kitchen and began rummaging around in the cabinets.

“Has Eira not told you?” She paused halfway through taking a small tin of tea out of the cabinet, shaking her head.

“Eira got moved, so they have her living there for now. This is first time she’s been home in a while.” Loki frowned, glancing over at Eira on the couch. Perhaps that was why she hadn’t been able to resist the enchantment. “I’ve been alone.”

Within a matter of seconds, Loki went from a simmering annoyance to a burning anger.

“You’ve been alone for the past month?” he snarled, fists clenching and unclenching. “You should have sent for me, Jamie! You’re half blind, for Norns sake!” She sighed, drumming her fingers on the countertops calmly as she takes out a mug and began measuring tea leaves.

“I’ve managed just fine, Loki. You’re my godfather, not my father,” Jamie gently chided as she fetched a pot from one of the cabinets and began to fill it from a container of water. “I’ve managed. The neighbors help. Eira sends home what she can. I’m not helpless.” His anger deflated a little with her soothing statement, but he was still simmering.

“At least tell me that the transformation process has fully settled,” he sighed as he walked into the kitchen and leaned against a counter. “You knew the rules on what you could and couldn’t do.”

“It has!” she set the kettle on the stove, and with a flick of her fingers there was a small flame going underneath it. “You know, I still can’t thank you enough for that process,” she said as she turned around to face him. She pressed herself onto her tiptoes to compensate for the inch of height difference between them, a grin on her face. “It works quite well, actually. Full range of movement back, body settled, my face shape-” she ran along a hand along her jaw, wiggling it back and forth with a laugh. “-ended up a lot like yours in the end.” Loki reached out, and with one finger he gently tapped the bronze ring in Jamie’s nose.

“This is new,” he commented lightly, a smile on his face. She nodded, tapping the tip of his nose and hurrying away as the kettle began to whistle. She poured the water into the mug full of tea leaves, setting the leftover water aside and letting the tea brew.

“It was sort of celebration thing. You know, celebrating finally being…” she opened and closed her hands before hugging herself tightly and looking up at him. “Me.” He chuckled, and Loki swept her up in a hug. When he let go, she casually ran her fingers through his hair with a hum. “Now, I do believe you have an excuse to give your dearest goddaughter.”

“I do. It happens to be a very good excuse,” he commented offhandedly as Jamie walked behind him and began running her hands through his greased down hair.

“It better be. Has Thor still not learned how to control his damned lightning?” He shook his head and she laughed, fluffing his hair with a sigh. “Now. Your excuse. And an explanation for why my girlfriend is passed out.”

“Technically I shouldn’t tell, but everyone probably knows at this point. You remember those auroras over a month ago?” Jamie hummed in affirmation as she began to smooth his hair down once more. “A girl landed in the hills the morning after. I spent around two full weeks healing her, and Mother decided that I was to be in charge of looking after her recovery since she is a royal guest. She faked not speaking Alltongue for weeks, and then a few days ago she revealed she’s been lying this entire time.” Jamie paused before gently tapping Loki’s shoulders.

“She wasn’t lying. She was just omitting information, and I know you feel like that’s the same as lying since you do it all the time,” she chided as she smoothed down his hair once last time with the palm of her hand. “But she probably had a good reason. She probably doesn’t want to be here if she crash landed and had to be healed for two weeks,” Jamie calmly reasoned as she patted Loki’s shoulder, making sure not to misjudge the distance too terribly. “Now, what happened to my girlfriend?”

“She gave in and stopped resisting the enchantment I was using on the children to put them to sleep.” Jamie laughed, walking back around to the front of Loki.

“You still do that?” She shook her head, smiling. “Of course you do. Now, drink this tea, you idiot. I keep it around for you.” Jamie passed him the mug and he took a drink, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Is Eira treating you alright?” Jamie quickly nodded, a smile appearing on her face.

“She comes home whenever she can, she helps with a lot of housework I can’t do because of this stupid eye-” she tapped the skin underneath her cut and clouded left eye. “-and she’s just a sweetheart. She tells me you’ve been offering her a full ride through school?” Loki nods, drumming his fingers on the side of his mug. “She keeps turning you down because she doesn’t want to leave me alone.”

“That is a good reason,” he murmured before taking a long drink of tea. “I’m glad she’s treating you right. I remember that urchin-” Jamie raised a hand and shook her head.

“We aren’t talking about him, that will just upset us both. He’s gone it’s over, alright?” Loki nodded, but there was still a scowl on his face as he took a sip of tea. He still remembered having to heal the gash that man had left in Jamie’s face. She was stuck with that scar, and she didn’t let on but the loss of vision hindered her still. “Now,” she hummed as she walked over to the couch where Eira was still sleeping, chest gently rising and falling. Jamie pressed a soft kiss to Eira’s lips, humming softly and pressing their foreheads together with a smile. “She’s not waking up anytime soon, so you get to do the housework I can’t.” Loki rolled his eyes, setting his tea to the side.

“Only because you’re my goddaughter.”


	14. an olive branch, no matter how temporary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its... thursday? i'm sorry about this guys, stuff keeps coming up and throwing off my schedule. but the chapter is here now! thank you all so much for the 2k hits and the more than 130 kudos!! i really appreciate it! i hope you enjoy the chapter!

She was caught up in a loop of desperately needing to talk to him to resolve any tension and never wanting to see him again because it meant they never need to have a resolution and they could just ignore each other until they both die.

But Frigga gave her a time frame and a place, so she was taking the opening. Library, early morning.

Eira didn’t show up that morning. She didn’t know why, but she managed without Eira. She ended up wearing one of her darker blue dresses and lacing up the entire back, keeping her wings tucked away. She still wore no shoes, letting her feet feel the cold stone underneath her. She had gotten used to it as time as gone on, and it no longer stung like cold, fresh snow underneath her toes. It was closer to shaded dirt, the cool softness of potential life waiting in the soil.

She looked at herself in the mirror, grimaced, and turned to leave. She didn’t bother with hurrying down the hallway. The sun was still rising, and there was a cold stillness to the halls that made it feel wrong to move any way other than on tiptoes. The guards were changing shifts, and the hallways are properly empty as she walked.

With a quick glance around, she twirled in the empty space of the golden halls.

Her dress flared out around her legs as she spun, a grin sprouting on her face as she twirled towards the library. Or what she approximated was the general direction of the library. She stopped her spinning with a laugh, stumbling to regain her balance as the world spun around her. She leaned against something for support so she didn’t fall over.

The doors she was leaning on swung open and she stumbled into the library.

Falling onto the floor with a shriek, she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the spinning to pass. She waited ten seconds, and then carefully opened her eyes as the doors thud shut behind her. She was surrounded by shelves so tall she couldn’t see the top, and every single shelf was covered in book after book after book. Carefully standing up, she sucked in her breath as she began to carefully walk among the shelves. She ran her hands along the spines, looking over all of the languages the books are in. There were books from Vanaheim, Alfheim, and other realms she couldn’t name.

She felt like a child entering a temple for the first time, looking in awe upon the intricacy people had bestowed on the deity’s dwelling grounds. She couldn’t help but worship the grandeur before her as something more than life, closer to the gods than she could ever be. Here in this temple of parchment and sewn spines she couldn’t help but feel safe, shut away from the rest of Asgard’s demanding gaze. Among the knowledge of generations she felt like an unbreakable fortress, strong and sturdy and unwilling to yield.

“People don’t normally scream to announce their entrance into libraries.” She whipped around, squeaking softly in surprise. Loki was standing behind her, leaning casually against the shelf and calmly running his thumbnail over the spine of a book labelled Herbs of the Southern Regions of Alfheim. She couldn’t tell if the gesture was nervous or bored, but she did hope it was nervous. That would give her the upper hand. “You were the one who wanted this meeting. Are you going to use it?” She flushed slightly, nervously running her thumb over the nail of her middle finger.

“I’m here to apologize.” He gestured with one hand for her continue, boredly dragging his thumbnail over the spine of the book and listening to the sound of the smooth leather catching underneath his nail. “For slapping you. And cutting off your sleeves.” She was silent and he looked expectantly at her, his pinky nail dragging across the cover of the book with a soft sound.

“And?” She crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow. He was confident in the library, and she could tell this was clearly his home ground.

“I don’t intent to apologize for withholding the information that I speak Alltongue.” Loki scowled, pressing his pinky nail into the cover of the book and leaving a light mark. “You can’t blame me for not trusting the liesmith,” she murmured as she glanced down at her hand, continuing to rub her thumb against her middle fingernail. “It’s quite disconcerting, leaving home without a say in the matter.” He let his hand slide off of the book and come to rest by his side as he took a step closer to her.

“You’re insufferable.” she shrugged, a small smirk appearing on her face as she tilted her head back and forth. She didn’t meet his gaze, and he raised an eyebrow. “And afraid.” Her head snapped up in surprise, and she seemed almost curious.

“Do tell me what I’m afraid of,” she simpered mockingly as she looked up at him. She took a step closer to him, eyes almost defiant. He paused, tilting his head to the side.

“You aren’t afraid of me,” he calmly began. “And you aren’t afraid of the people residing in this castle. So…” he trailed off, a smirk on his face as pieces click into place. “You’re afraid of losing someone. The letter writer, perhaps? The painter of your portrait?” He was filled with a sense of triumph as her eyebrows shot up and her eyes went wide. She blinked once and then twice in rapid succession, and he could see the pricking tears at the corner of her eyes. He frowned at that, tilting his head to the side. He had wanted to frighten her a little, not depress her.

The sun was beginning to peek through the windows on the wall far behind her as they stood so close that she could easily slap him if she so desired, one step apart. She didn’t fight him though, she just took a breath and rolled her shoulders back. She isn’t going to let him get under her skin that easily.

“Yes,” she finally muttered, a bite in her voice that wasn’t present before. “I’m terrified that I’ll never see my best friend again.” She crossed her arms over her chest and her gaze fell to the floor for a moment. Loki could smell a bitter honeysuckle wafting off of her, and he swallowed. Magic users with high running emotions were experts at wreaking havoc.

“Don’t cry,” he hurriedly said, nervously kneading his hands. “I happen to be fond of these books, and I would like for them to remain intact.”

For a moment he considered running as the honeysuckle got stronger, but then the sourness leaves as her anger diffused. She weakly laughed, a breathy tendency to it. He smiled momentarily in relief, but soon his mouth was back to a neutral expression. She laughed, covering her mouth with her hands to try and muffle the sound, but he could see the telltale crinkles around the edges of her eyes.

Somewhere down the line as the sun rose farther and cast its light across her back, he found that her laughter caught and she began to cry, a smile still on her face as she tried to knuckle away the tears.

“Please stop crying,” he pleaded, brows furrowed in worry. “I’m horrible with crying. It’s one thing I cannot handle.” She laughed at that, and she took a deep breath. The tears were still rolling down her cheeks freely, but she didn’t shake with the force of them.

“You’re a pain.” He shrugged, leaning against the shelf and pressing his lips together for a moment.

“It’s a talent I have.” He paused for a moment, still kneading his hands. “What did that letter say?” She shook her head, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes before wiping away the tears.

“No,” she softly said. “Not now. It’s private.” She looked back up at him and he smirked.

“Then I suppose I’ll stick around and find out.” She faltered a bit at his statement.

It was an extension of peace; it was an olive branch from a thorn bush. Loki was asking for enough forgiveness for her to let him stay without directly asking and bruising his ego. She hummed, turning her head and looking at the lines of books next to her. He was kinder in his battleground, more willing to forgive, but she doubted he ever forgot. Here in the temple turned fortress, she felt a strange sense of security even knowing it belonged to him. Pressing her lips together, she let herself wonder what bends her life was going to take before she opened her mouth and answered.

“I guess so.”

-

_Pick up the paper. Glance at the words. Shove the paper to the side. Stare at the wall. Listen to the building creak. Stare at the computer screen and groan because the screen was devoid of any new information._

The door creaked open, and the woman looked up from her train of thought at her desk. A girl was standing in the doorway, dressed in a sharp suit with blue jay wings poking out of the back. She sat upright, her dove wings fluttering ever so slightly as the girl approached her desk, clearly having issues with keeping a hold on herself.

“I’m here to see Valencia Graves,” the girl firmly said. “The appointment should be for Eleanor Reva.” Valencia glanced down at her papers before flicking her gaze over to her small calendar. Sure enough, there was written in careful and neat handwriting, the symbolization of Eleanor Reva. She raised her eyebrow, looking down at the woman. At this distance, she looked more like a girl to Valencia, but nearly everyone was young to her.

“Lenaret,” Valencia murmured under her breath. Eleanor flinched visibly, and Valencia raised an eyebrow. “It’s your name.” Her tone left no room for argument, so Eleanor rolled her shoulders and clasped her hands in front of her. “Now,” Valencia calmly said as she rose from her chair and walked around her desk to stand by Eleanor. “We have business to attend to.”


	15. shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's wednesday! sorry if this is a little late, i just got back into school and things have been really busy. anyways, as usual, please drop some comments, and enjoy!

When she heard the knock on her door that afternoon, she was strangely relieved.

She answered the door wrapped in a nightgown from her nap, her hair a wild mess. Loki didn’t quite smile down at her as she shoved her hair from her face, but she supposed his face spasmed in such a way that she would count it as a smile.

“Get dressed.” She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest with the hint of a smile turning up her lips.

“What are we doing today?” He shrugged, leaning on the doorframe and looking down at her.

“Well, since you can actually communicate with me-” she heard the bitter bite to his voice, but she couldn’t hear any malice behind it. “-I figured today you could do the deciding.” She blinked in surprise, eyebrows rising. She couldn’t tell if her apology softened him or if he was simply just so unused to having any sort of apology that he was touched by the gesture.

“Horseback riding,” she quickly said before he could come up with a different option. “Hold on one moment.” She looked down at her nightgown before looking up sheepishly at Loki and shrugging. “Clothing.” She ducked back into her room, closing the door behind her. She shed her nightgown quickly before hurriedly pulling on the leathers and the accompanying gloves. She was back at the door in a flash, bouncing on the balls of her feet and dashing out into the hallway.

“Well then. Let’s go.” Loki began walking off and she dashed forward with a triumphant hop, a grin across her face. As she landed from her small leap, she stumbled and found her face rushing towards the floor. She yelped in surprise, closing her eyes. The impact never came as fingers wrapped around her wrist. Her eyes snapped open as she was hauled back onto her feet by Loki, his hand gripping her wrist incredibly tightly. “Don’t injure yourself,” he growled under his breath. There wasn’t any malice behind it that she could find, but it was still disconcerting having someone so tall so close to her. She softly tugged at her wrist when he failed to let go, and he blinked once before dropping her hand and continuing forward with a grumble.

She followed behind him now, careful to not trip again. When they broke into the open air, she walked beside him once more. He glanced over at her when she shifted positions before turning his gaze back to the stable in front of them. She liked the smell of the hay, she noticed as she stepped in. The stables weren’t by any means pristine, but judging by the stable boys running around, pristine was impossible to achieve.

“Should I just grab a horse?” Loki shrugged, stepping into the stable of his horse and patting its nose.

“If that mare you rode last time will take you back, ride her. With a saddle,” he called after her as she dashed off, sending hay flying up under her feet. Loki rolled his eyes as he saddled up his stallion. He shoved open the stall door and swings up onto his horse’s back, trotting out into the corridor. She soon came around the corner, and he sighed when he noticed she was riding entirely bareback. “I said, with a saddle.”

“I don’t know how to ride with a saddle,” she calmly stated as she rode calmly past him into the open air. “I’m not trained as a soldier, I’m trained as an athlete.” He followed her, their horses calmly walking next to each other as they headed out into the countryside.

“You have horse racing?” She turned to look at him and smirked, shaking her head. They had been heading out into the hills, but she veered into a wide open field. He stopped his horse as she kept hers in motion, hopping up onto the back and standing. She kept her balance as the horse began to run, a wide grin on her face. She steered the mare towards Loki and he hurriedly got out of the way.

When the horse reached a certain point, she leapt into the air and quickly executed a flip, landing on the back of the horse once more. She laughed in triumph before bringing the horse to a halt and sliding into a sitting position. Loki raised an eyebrow, impressed with what she had just done.

“I was afraid I wasn’t going to land that,” she laughed as she sat upright. “That’s not the sport anyways. The sport is far more dangerous.”

“Do tell,” he said as he raised an eyebrow. She hummed, tilting her head from side to side with a smirk.

“I’ll tell you if you take me to where I landed.” He nodded, turning his horse towards the hills and beginning to trot. She followed, riding beside him. “So, essentially there’s an obstacle course, and you ride standing on the back of horse. The obstacles are bars that’ll hit you in the stomach if you don’t dodge them. You have to jump over them and then land on the horse again.” He glanced over at her as she looked over at him with a wistful smile. “I was good. Competed in the realm games a few years.” She smiled, her eyes gazing far into the distance with a glimmer to them. “Got a few medals.” She seemed to snap out of her trace, shaking her head and looking forwards again. “Doubt I’ll be able to do that anymore.” Loki paused, thinking for a moment.

“I’m sure that you can regain your skill. It took you time and practice to reach that place, no?” She nodded, and he casually shrugged before looking forwards once more. “Then it will take you time and practice, but I am almost certain you can do it again.” She smiled, pressing her lips together tightly in an attempt to hide it.

“Thank you.” Loki hummed softly, and they kept riding in silence. The path wound up into the hills, going higher and higher as they ride. Eventually, she started softly muttering under her breath, reciting sentences in Vindrese. Loki looked over at her before looking away, and she couldn’t help but feel like he was listening.

“There.” Loki brought his stallion to a stop and dismounted, and she followed suit, trailing behind him as he climbed the hill. “This is where Thor found you.” She clambered up the hill quickly, wanting to see what had happened. She yelped as she slid down into the crater she had left, falling onto her butt and ending up at the bottom. She looked behind her and Loki was standing at the edge, looking down at her. “Is there a reason you wanted to be here?” She nodded, pushing herself to her feet and brushing off the dirt.

“I want to see what happened.” She brushed her hair out of her face, cracking her knuckles and rolling her head. “You see, Your Highness,” she said as the air began to smell of honeysuckle and thin golden tendrils flow from her outstretched hands. “Turns out it’s hard to know what’s happening when you come plummeting from the sky after a day or two of nothingness. Also I passed out from the pain, so there’s that.” Loki stood at the edge of the crater, watching as it became lined with her magic.

“Loki,” he called down to her. “You might as well call me Loki. You never use my titles as is.” He heard her chuckle at that, and he smirked briefly. He watched as her magic began to pulse and writhe around her, yet she just poured in more energy.

“Show me,” she muttered under her breath. “Please show me.” Loki was nervously tapping his foot at this point as her magic moved around her legs like water. He wondered if she could drown if she wasn’t careful. There was a stutter in the magic pooled around her, and then suddenly it congealed. It was her, made of a rubbery magical substance, dressed in the outfit she arrived in. She was straining to maintain her copy, but it was holding together. Loki watched as the golden double moved from lying down on the ground to speeding up into the sky, back to the ground and wings struggling to fly. She was watching down in the crater, her face turning red from the exertion of holding all that magic together. Somewhere up in the sky, the copy disappeared and she collapsed to her knees inside of the crater, her chest heaving as she stared at the ground.

“Idiot,” Loki snarled as he hurried down into the crater. The honeysuckle was souring as she kneeled, pressing her hands against the dirt. “You’re an idiot, did you know that?” He offered her a hand, but she stayed on the ground.

“I did know that, actually.” she weakly laughed and tipped her head back to the sky. “I shouldn’t have done that.” Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes, glaring down at her. “I think my magic gave out.”

“What else could have happened?” She shrugged, pushing herself to her feet. She wobbled back and forth, her legs weak and rubbery from all of the energy she had poured into that one creation.

“There was a slim chance I could have made the portal flare. Wouldn’t matter anyways, I can’t sustain that through realms.” She held out her arms in an attempt to steady herself, but her legs gave out and she fell into a sitting position.

“What in the nine realms made you think exhausting yourself to this point was a good idea?” she shrugged, taking his still outstretched hand and pulling herself upright.

“Well, I could have passed out, so this isn’t actually too bad.” Loki made a noise of disbelief as she stumbled away and began climbing out of the crater and back to the horses. He followed, and by the time he was out she was already on her mare, covered in dirt and ready to go back.

“You’re utterly irresponsible,” he muttered under his breath as he mounted his stallion and gently turned it around back towards the castle. “I’d rather keep my mother happy and you alive.” She snorted, shrugging casually and following him as he began riding down the mountainside.

“I won’t die.” They rode in silence, the sun in their eyes as they made their way back towards the palace. For once, there was no need to toss insults back and forth between them. They could leave the mocking out of the equation and just have undivided silence between them.

The silence let her mind wander off into the distance, back to the academy where she knew Eleanor was awaiting her return. She sighed, tilting her head back and rolling her shoulders. She was not going to cry in front of him again, damn it. She had already cried in front of him too many times, and she didn’t particularly want to add to that tally.

“You’re going to cry.” She sniffed, rubbing at her eyes before cracking a smile and shrugging. “That wasn’t a question.”

“I’m fine,” she murmured under her breath as her head dropped once more and she stared at the ears of the creamy horse she was riding.

“You aren’t,” he calmly replied. She glanced over at him and found he wasn’t even looking at her. “You’re trying to hide that you’re about to cry.” She huffed in annoyance, looking away from him again with a shake of her head. “You can’t lie to me, fool. Are you going to say what’s wrong, or are you going to be faking you’re alright all the way back to the palace?” She’s silent for a long moment, and he sighed in disappointment. “Faking it. Alright.”

“I want to go home.” Loki was silent at that, and she rambled as the prince rode beside her. “I’m sick and tired of constantly dancing around you and your mockery, and I want to go back to having a normal life.” She looked around at the trees, their leaves just beginning to unfurl. “It must be almost summer back home. I should be going on break soon. But instead I’m stuck in Asgard with an insufferable prince and no way home!” She paused and took a deep breath, slouching forwards. Eventually she lifted her head and wiped away a few stray tears that had gotten free. “My apologies.” He looked at her before looking away, rolling his lower lips between his teeth.

“Don’t bother apologizing.” She looked at him in surprise, but he said nothing else, and soon they were back in the stable and putting the horses up. They walked in silence back into the palace. They stopped at the fork in the halls where they go different ways, glancing at each other briefly before going their separate ways. Loki paused and turned around, calling after her. “Fool.” She turned around, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes?” he cracked a smile, nodding slightly.

“Sleep well, little bird.” And with that he turned and headed to his quarters, leaving her standing in shock in the hallway.


	16. drinking buddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope everyone enjoys this update, I'll be doing more talking in the end notes! See you all down there once you finish!

The next day was mundane, spent wandering the hallways alone and searching around.

She didn’t find much; there was endless empty rooms, a few bedrooms out of use, and some nondescript closets that the maids must have been using for cleaning supplies. It was her beginning to adapt to her surroundings, trying to find a corner to tuck away in like she would at home. The palace was still not home.

The cold gold could not replace the soft warmth of a lazy sun filtering through a curtain and letting her sleep a little longer. The sun here was hard as it was, something hot and beating and making more freckles pop up on the backs of her hands and along her neck. She didn’t hate it, but the sun was not home. The sun was just as harsh as the rest of Asgard, just as willing to bear down on her mercilessly.

Loki, who used to be the worst of the aggrievers, seemed to have softened slightly. He offered her a little more silence and wit and a little less mocking. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t particularly care why. She was just thankful he had ceased the endless stream of cold, biting mockery.

She was currently reclined in her room, nestled into her bed with a stack of books. She calmly turned her page, humming to herself and tilting her head back and forth. There was a knock on the door, and she looked up in surprise. It was dark outside, and she wasn’t expecting a visitor. The knock came again and she climbs out of bed, slowly pushing open the door.

Loki was leaning on the wall by her door, a relaxed smile on his face. The torches lining the hall make a soft, golden light dance across his cheeks, and she could see the glint in his eyes as they glanced over her quickly.

“Get dressed,” he commanded, taking a step closer and grinning down at her. “We’re going out.” She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head back to look up at him. There was a small smirk on her lips.

“Where are we going? You think I’m going to let some random prince sweep me off my feet and whisk me away?” He appeared to contemplate the statement for a moment before gesturing to her closet.

“Stop chattering and put on a nice dress.” She rolled her eyes and shut the door, hurrying over to her closet and wiggling out of her nightgown. It pooled around her feet as she pulled out a muted slate blue dress and and slipped into it. The style was slightly different from the other dresses, and it thankfully didn’t need to be tied in the back. She rushed back over to the door and pushed it open, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Good enough.” She blinked in surprise, doing a brief double-take.

Loki was more feminine looking now. Her face was softer, the shape of her eyes a little bit rounder but still with their familiar biting fire. Her hair was slightly longer, she had swapped out her daily wear for a deep green dress, and her voice was ever so slightly higher and somewhat lilting. She was floored by Loki’s appearance, and she couldn’t help but open and close her mouth like a fish gasping for air. Loki smirked at her, and she flushed bright red.

“Surprised?” Loki did a twirl, and she knew that Loki was getting a kick out of turning her into a blushing mess.

“I wasn’t – I didn’t – I-” she took a deep breath before squeaking out a soft reply. “You’re turning me into a huge bisexual disaster.” Loki laughed, and jerked her head to gesture down the hallway before holding out her hand.

“Good. Let’s go, it’s time you saw outside of the castle.” She took Loki’s hand, and Loki grinned down at her. She couldn’t help but swallow at the look Loki gave her, and even though the dark princess isn’t speaking, she could feel that soft velvet winding around her neck and pulling her close. She found that she maybe didn’t mind it. Loki slipped an arm around her waist, and she squeaked in surprise at suddenly being pulled so close to the goddess. Oh Watcher, she was going to need lots of alcohol to deal with this. “Hold on.”’

There was a swirl of green light and suddenly they were in the middle of a bustling street and Loki was letting go of her. With the light of the torches cast onto Loki’s face, she could tell that the goddess was already tipsy. At least that explained her touchy behavior. She followed Loki into a tavern, and her senses were instantly assaulted by light and singing mixed with uproarious laughter. She was stuck for a moment, blinking and trying to process everything all at once. A soft hand rested on her shoulder and her head whipped around to face the person. It was Loki, a small grin on her face.

“This way, little bird.” Loki pulled her away into a corner booth-like set up and gestured for her to sit. She did and soon Loki was returning with drinks. She set them down onto the table, and in the blink of an eye a suddenly much more masculine Loki was sitting across from the girl, sipping a cup of mead and wearing his normal attire. He glanced over at her, and he smirked. “You did specifically say you weren’t going to let ‘some random prince’ sweep you off your feet.”

“Oh shut it,” she muttered as she grabbed the cup of mead he got for her and took a long drink from it. She slammed it back down on the table and tucked her legs underneath her. “You’re already tipsy anyways, and I need to catch up.” she chugged the rest of the cup and set it aside, looking at the tavern singing and dancing around them.

“Only slightly tipsy. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting someone of your age to drink your mead that fast.” She glared at him, one eyebrow raised as she leaned forwards onto the table.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Loki snorted, taking a sip of his mead and leaning back on his side of the booth-like arrangement.

“Someone of your age. You can’t be more than seven centuries old, if that.” She turned bright red and wrinkled her nose as she glared at him.

“I’m one thousand, five hundred, and ninety-six years old, thank you very much.” Loki choked on his mouthful of mead, and by some miracle he doesn’t spiral into a coughing fit.

“That’s impossible,” he growled as he stared her down. “You’re so petite I mistook you for a child.” She laughed, grinning as she sat upright.

“What, don’t tell me I’m older than you?” he turned an even deeper red than his intoxicated flush, and she laughed. Her entire body shook with the force and she was left gasping for air with a soft whistling sound as she clutched her ribs. “I’m older than you!” she crowed between gasps of air, and he snarled.

“Be quiet.” she gave him a lopsided grin, feeling the mead beginning to hit her blood. She wiggled her shoulders slightly, and he took another drink of mead. “You’re horrible.”

“How much older am I? You can’t just leave me with the knowledge I’m older than you like that,” she said as she wiggled one of her legs happily. He glared at her, and she pouted. “If you aren’t going to tell me how old you are, at least tell me how you do that shapeshifting thing?” Loki perked up at that, sitting upright.

“That particular transformation isn’t actually classified as shapeshifting. It’s form modification, because I’m not becoming someone else. That form is still me, just as this is me. Really, it’s mostly just exterior modifications except for the obvious shift in genitalia. It’s a process that shifts around things I already have, redistributing body fat and some tissue as well as a slight bit of bone structure to create a female appearance.” He nervously glanced down at his hands. “You probably don’t want to hear all of the details.”

“No, no,” she hurriedly said. “Keep going. I’ve been studying magic for years and I’ve never come across something like this.” He glowed with joy and instantly launched back into his speech.

“It’s not a very heavily practiced branch of magic. The general concept is you can turn into anything, as long that thing is you. Shapeshifting doesn’t have that sort of constraint on it, and while it’s harder to master shapeshifting is more versatile and much more commonly practiced. I’m versed in both magics just for the sake. Form modification is helpful for days when I align more heavily female than male.” She nodded, resting her hands on her chin. She was doing her best to stay focused, but with the alcohol hitting her system that wasn’t the easiest thing in the world.

“Wait, one question?” He paused and nodded, gesturing for her to speak. “You’re genderfluid?” He nodded, and she hummed thoughtfully. “Cool. Just wanted to ask so I wouldn’t screw up.” He smiled, and she thinked for a moment that maybe, just maybe, the god meant it.

“I won’t bore you now with the details.” She laughed, snatching his cup of mead from him and taking a long drink. When she set it down, it fills again and she smirked.

“Why, because you’re getting drunk?” He rolled his eyes, taking a drink.

“You say that as if you aren’t at the very least tipsy.” She grinned, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Who better to bond with a drunk person than a tipsy person?” With that it was like Loki suddenly realized what was happening in their casual conversation, and he frowned.

“We aren’t bonding.” She moved to press the subject, but she decided against it and her jaw snapped shut. She was too close to fuck this up now. She wanted a friend, someone on her battleground that she could trust and laugh and drink with. The more time she spent with Loki, the more he seemed like the person she needed in this crazy, hectic Asgardian culture. When he was drunk, his hard exterior melted away and left a soft interior, but if he felt threatened he instantly threw up his shields again like a pillbug curling up to show its tough armor to the outside world that wanted to prod it.

“Why did you bring me here? We could have gotten intoxicated in your room,” she commented as she quirked an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

“That would be incredibly scandalous and you’ve seen the palace walls for a long time now. You’ve been out for our riding occasions and nothing else.” He took a long drink and set his cup down again, drumming his nails on the table. “Wild girls don’t deserve golden cages.”

“Well look who’s getting all poetic on me. I think you’ve had enough to drink,” she teased as she snatchesd his glass and held it hostage on her side of the table. “You’re my ride home, and if you’re too drunk to teleport we have to walk.” He grinned sheepishly, and her leg began to wiggle even faster. “You’re kidding me.”

“I can still teleport us, fool,” he hurried to say as she groaned in exasperation. “Just not safely back to your hallway.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head, sighing heavily.

“Then we should go before… before I’m extremely tipsy and you’re extremely drunk,” she commented and stood up. The blood rushed to her head and she had to brace herself against the table to keep from falling. “Fuck.”

“We’re heading home before you crack your head open and my mother has my head.” He grabbed her and pulled her close, and with another clean flash of green light they were standing in a room. A very green and gold room that she quickly concluded must be his room. She stepped away, and he tiredly ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. He blinked slowly and stretched, staggering around his room while softly humming.

“How do I get back to my room?” Loki looked over at her and blinked almost as if in surprise. He hurried over to the door and pulled it open, gesturing in vague directions.

“Go to the left, take a right, keep going until you know where you are.” She nodded and stepped outside of the door. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before letting out a breath and smirking. “Sleep well.” With that he gently shut the door, and she headed back to her own room without a word.

-

Valencia drummed her perfectly filed nails against the table, flicking through folder after folder of energy bends and spikes. She was looking for the day this girl’s roomate left, months ago. Eventually, she found the folder and pulled it out.

“Each one of these sheets of paper has a data point. They’re arranged in chronological order starting from midnight of that night. You’re looking for an unapproved entry with a large number on the energy flare.” She shoved the folder over to the girl, Eleanor, Lenaret, whatever her proper Vindrese name is. The girl blinked, and Valencia scowled when she realized the girl was about to cry. “Tears waste time. Do you want to find your friend or not?” Eleanor’s face hardened, and she gritted her teeth before flipping open the folder and beginning to look through it, paper by paper. “Good girl.” Eleanor seemed to grimace at the praise, flipping through the papers even faster.

Valencia glanced at her watch, and she drummed her fingernails on the table. It was a damn pity the government didn’t pay her overtime.

She was going to be stuck here for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for the sporadic updates lately, it's just been difficult to remember for me and to get around to while I'm trying to find the source of a chronic pain problem I'm dealing with. Could y'all maybe comment down below some things about this fic you've been really enjoying, or even just that you want to see it continue? if so I really appreciate it, if not that's also perfectly fine! either way, next update will come either wednesday or early thursday, I'm doing the best I can to try and stay consistent!


	17. a brief brotherly conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i just wanted to thank all of you for the comments last week, they've really cheered me up and helped me keep going lately! if y'all have any more comments, i'd be happy to hear them! in the meantime, i hope you enjoy this chapter!

The training room was filled with the sounds of clashing metal and friendly battle chatter that bounced off of the stone floors and walls, filling the place with energy.

Loki and Thor were in the middle of it, hammer against daggers as word met word in a calm battle of wits that they had enjoyed for years.

“Remember that time when I fooled you and stabbed you?” Loki asked, dodging under a swing from Thor’s hammer before moving to drive one of his daggers into his brother’s shoulder. Thor sidestepped, and Loki continued fighting.

“There’s a lot of those, Loki, you’re going to have to be more specific,” Thor fired back. “At least that trick doesn’t work anymore.” He swung his hammer, and Loki bent out of the way just in time.

“I’m talking about that one time when I turned into a snake,” Loki said as he managed to get close enough to nick Thor’s arm. “You saw me, picked me up, and I stabbed you in the gut.” Thor grinned, and soon Loki was flying backwards with a hammer to his gut. Loki groaned as his back hit the wall, and Thor called the hammer back to his hand. “I suppose I deserved that just now.” Thor grinned, walking over to his brother and offering him a hand up. Loki didn’t take it, instead pushing himself to his feet and brushing off the dust.

“You did somewhat deserve that,” Thor remarked offhandedly as they fell back into position. Loki moved first, darting around Thor. When he swung his hammer, it passed straight through Loki as the illusion stuttered and failed. Thor was rewarded with a sharp pain in his thigh, and he rolled his eyes with a groan. “Loki,” he whined as he yanked the dagger out of his leg with a hiss of pain.

“You deserved it,” Loki casually commented as he took back his dagger and wiped the blood off with a small cloth.

“Now you’re just being annoying.” Loki smirked, sending the cloth away and looking up at Thor.

“When am I not annoying you? Do tell, I must be falling down on my brotherly duties.” Thor lightly smacked him on the shoulder and Thor forgot himself for a moment as he snorted with laughter.

“You’ll never change.” Loki shrugged falling into position again and rolling his shoulders.

“I beg to disagree.” He lunged forward, slashing with his dagger. “You never tell the same lie twice.” Thor laughed, and soon Loki was on the ground once more with a hammer pressing against his chest. Thor lifted Mjölnir from Loki’s chest and he stood, brushing himself off with a sigh.

“Isn’t the spring ball upcoming?” Loki nodded, taking the moment of a break as an opportunity to move away slightly to lean on a nearby wall. “So, dancing and drinking.”

“Yes, dancing and drinking as well as far too many people having sex,” Loki commented as he glanced down at his fingernails and began carefully picking out the grime methodically.

“You say that as if you aren’t often part of that last group,” Thor said with a smirk, dropping Mjölnir on the ground and coming to stand in front of his brother.

“I’d hold your tongue if I were you,” Loki mildly commented as he glanced up at Thor with a deadly glare. Thor grinned, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Is my little brother changing his ways? Has some fair maiden finally caught your eyes for something for than a quick fling?” Loki rolled his eyes, and before he knew it he was snapping back a retort.

“She’d break your neck if you called her that,” Loki commented, not realizing his slip until Thor grinned so wide Loki was convinced it would split his brother’s face in two.

“So, you do fancy someone?” Loki shrugged, pushing off of the wall and falling into a starting position. Thor followed suit, and soon they were clashing once again. “Brother, I’m not going to drop this.”

“I know,” Loki growled in response. “But you can’t talk if I keep you occupied.” As the two clashed, a small shape dressed in her leathers walks along the wall of the training area, sticking the the shadows as Loki and Thor fought with mocking words and clanging weapons.

She smiled and leaned against a wall, watching as the two of them sparred and bickered. She couldn’t help but softly laugh at how different the two princes are, yet how easily their fighting styles blended.

Loki caught a glimpse of her in the shadows over Thor’s shoulders and their eyes met for a moment. She smiled at him, and before she could say a word Thor had him pinned to the ground. Laughing, she walked closer and stood next to Thor.

“I have to say, it’s nice having you shorter,” she commented with a soft twitter. “Want some help?” She extended a hand to him and after a moment of hesitation Loki grasped her hand. She pulled him upright and he gave her a light smile, brushing off the dirt. “And now you’re back to being tall. All good things must come to an end,” she sighed teasingly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Is there reason you’ve dropped by and decided to distract us?” Loki glanced over at Thor, and he internally sighed at the wide grin on Thor’s face. “If not, I’d advise you run before my brother ropes you into wrestling.” She laughed at that, shaking her head.

“I was just looking for you, and you weren’t in the library.” She turned to leave before pausing in her motions and turning back around to face Loki. “I don’t suppose you know where Eira is? I’m afraid she’s ill, but I don’t know how to ask without sounding like I want someone new.” Loki chuckled at that, nodding slightly.

“Yes. I forced her to take the week off with her girlfriend. Jamie needs the help. Eira should return tomorrow.” She nodded, smiling slightly.

“Good. Thank you, you who knows all,” she teased before turning and leaving the pair of princes. Loki watched as she moved along the walls, staying in the shadows before darting towards an exit to the training area. She turned to look behind her, and when she saw Loki still watching she gave him a quick wave before disappearing into the inside of the palace.

“I believe you said ‘What is there to like’,” quoted Thor only for a dagger to be thrown at him.

“Shut up,” Loki snarled as he lunged forward and picked up his dagger once more. “Be quiet and fight me.”

“Are you going to ask her?” Loki rolled his eyes, dodging a swing of Thor’s hammer.

“No, you oaf. She’s my friend and nothing else,” he cooly commented as he went to stab Thor in the side. “That’s all.” Thor raised his eyebrows as if to say “really?” but Loki ignored his brother’s face as he drove a dagger into Thor’s side. “Are we done here?” Thor yanked out the dagger with a hiss, and he nodded at Loki as he handed back the dagger. “See you another time, brother.” His dagger disappeared with a wave of his hand, and he turned to walk away.

“Brother,” Thor called. Loki looked over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. “She’s healed well. Mother would be proud.” Loki smiled without thought, but when he realized what has happened he forced his lips flat once more.

“I’m sure she would be.” With that, Loki left, exiting the same direction she had gone earlier, making his way to the library. It was a path he knew well, and he didn’t have to think as his feet carried him to the giant double doors. When he pushed them open, he paused for a moment as his eyes struggled to adjust to the general darkness of the library while the sun on the floor temporarily blinded him. He blinked rapidly, one arm flying up to shield his eyes from the light. Once his eyes have adjusted, he turned and headed to his corner of the library.

When he turned the corner to the couch, a book came flying at him and he deftly caught it in one hand. She was reclined on the couch, surrounded by stacks of books, and he sighed as a unbidden smile crept onto his face. He walked over to her and dropped the book on her lap, raising his eyebrows and rolling his eyes.

“If anyone asks you,” Loki whispered as he reached over her and snatched a book from the pile. “You didn’t see me.” She grinned as he quickly scaled the towering shelves and hauled himself onto the top with a soft grunt. “Understood?” She nodded, opening the book she had thrown at him and thumbing to a particular page. He settled in out of sight on top of his shelf, and she sank into the couch as they read in silence.

-

Frigga carefully entered the throne room, nervously kneading her hands and picking at the small imperfections in her flesh. Odin sat upon his throne, Gungnir lazily held in his hand while he stared off into the distance. Frigga smiled and curtsied before approaching the throne as Odin stood and walked down the steps to meet her at the bottom. He kissed her on both cheeks and she returned the gesture with a smile.

“You called, husband?” Odin nodded, turning his head slightly so his one eye faces Frigga.

“Yes,” he slowly said, beginning to walk off. “Come with me.” She walked on his left side so he could see her easily, comfortably adjusted to her husband’s disability through the years of marriage that hang between them. “I’m wondering about the girl.”

“She does have a name, you know,” Frigga teasingly commented. Odin sighed and nodded, muttering the girl’s name under his breath. “What about her?”

“I am afraid of what she will bring down upon us,” said Odin as they stepped out into the open air. “In my dreams, I am smothered with white as Asgard dances with light. When I wake, I feel as if I have suffered a great loss.” Frigga’s brows furrowed, and she nodded slightly.

“I do not know what you are seeing,” Frigga murmured softly as they walked towards the gardens, their steps synced up. “What can I do to ease your mind?” Odin was silent for a moment as they walked, staring out at the plants as if they would grant him an answer to his question.

“I do not know,” he murmured as his grip around Gungnir tightened. “I wish I knew what the light is. I wish I knew what the white that smothers me is, but I do not. So we must be careful,” he stated calmly. “Keep a close eye on the girl.” Frigga nodded, pressing her lips together.

“I’ll have Loki keep an eye on her. They seem to be becoming quite close,” Frigga commented as she glanced up at the library window with a hum. “I do not think that she will intentionally cause any harm to Asgard.” The sun was on the opposite side of the castle, away from the library windows and in the west of the sky. There was still a bit of light catching on them, and she couldn’t help but smile at the glittering colors on the window.

“Still,” said Odin as they stopped next to each other. “Unintentional is still harmful. I never intended for Hela to get out of hand,” he whispered as he looked to the east, over the gardens. “Yet she did. And now she’s locked away. I never meant to cause harm, yet I did,” he calmly stated with a melancholy smile on his face. “Just because she does not mean to harm us does not mean that she will not somehow inflict a wound upon us in time.” Frigga nodded, taking her husband’s hand in her own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I will make sure she does not intentionally harm us. I cannot control the future, husband,” she murmured as she ran her thumb over his hand. “You and Heimdall shape our future.” She pressed a soft kiss to Odin’s cheek before smiling and letting go of his hand, stepping back. “I’m afraid I must leave you. The ball is upcoming,” she murmured apologetically. He nodded and she left, walking quickly back to the palace.

“I can only hope,” muttered Odin as he turned and walked further into the gardens, the sun setting away from the library where the girl and his son were perched, devouring knowledge in a comfortable silence.


	18. the hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! welcome to the second longest chapter of this fiasco! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, it was a lot of fun to work on and i had been looking forward to it! hope you're all doing well, drop a comment if you like the chapter, and i'll see you all next week!

She was holed up in her room when Loki dropped by, Eira by his side as he pushed open the door and grandly gestured for Eira to enter.

“Eira!” she leapt off of her bed and ran to Eira, sweeping the girl up in a hug and squeezing her tightly. “It’s good to see you again!” Eira laughed, looking down at the girl with a smile.

“It’s good to see you too, miss,” she said with a chuckle. “But I’m afraid you’ll be heading outside with the prince.” She looked around Eira’s side at Loki, who was reclined against the doorframe with a small smile on his face.

“She tells the truth,” he casually commented as he glanced underneath his nails and began calmly picking out the grime underneath them. “Get dressed in your riding leathers.” Her face lit up and she wanted to dash forward and hug him, but she felt like that would overstepping some unsaid boundary. So instead she bounced on the balls of her feet, her face covered with a large smile.

“Give me a moment,” she declared and with a wave of her hand two golden palms were pushing the door shut for her as she dashed over to her closet. She pulled out her leathers and stripped her clothing, wiggling into the riding outfit as quickly as she could. Eira looked almost flustered when she does it with no assistance, and she was not sure what to do but nervously flit around the girl and run her fingers through her charge’s hair in a quick attempt to neaten it.

“It must be so strange here,” Eira said, and the girl gave her a confused glance. “It has to be so different from your home, no?” she shook her head and shrugged.

“A little less advanced, but it’s not that different.” Eira’s face was almost shocked, and the girl laughed in her breathy, sing-song manner. There was a sharp knock at the door, and she looked over her shoulder at it. “Hold on!” Eira glanced back and forth between the girl and the door, and she smiled slightly.

“You and the dark prince are close?” The girl shrugged as she yanked on her fingerless gloves, flexing her fingers nervously. She didn’t know why she had a nervous ache in her stomach, but she could ignore it.

  
“He’s my friend, Eira,” she commented as she pranced over to the door, bare feet softly hitting the floor. “I guess you get a certain closeness when you kick the shit out of someone in a hallway!” With that, she pushed open the door and grinned up at Loki, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Come on,” he said as he starts walking towards the stables. She let out a whoop of joy and ran ahead, dashing forwards until she was far in front of him. Loki sighed and rolled his eyes as she waited for him at every crossroads, yet he couldn’t help but smile at the way she hopped up and down, bouncing on the balls of her feet. It was a cute quirk, he found himself thinking before he brings his train of thought to a dead stop. She was a guest.

“Hurry up,” she called as she dashed outside before gripping the edge of the stable doorway and swinging her body around it so she was pressed up against the inside wall. “You’re a slowpoke.” He shrugged casually, pushing the edge of her shoulder and spinning her around so her back faced the wall as he walked into the stables.

“I prefer to walk as slowly and little as possible. Are you going to insist on riding bareback once again?” She hesitated, drumming her fingernails against the wood of the stable walls. She pulled away from the wall slightly, and with a stretch she was letting her wings spread from her back with numerous pops and cracks of noise.

“How would you feel,” she slowly started as she spread one wing and began carefully preening the feathers. “If I rode out of here on the same horse as you and switched to flying once we’re kind of out of the city?” He blinked in surprise before nodding, and then immediately mentally questioning why he was nodding.

“You’ll need to put your wings away. You’ll have to ride in front of me, and I’d rather not have those in the way.” She agreeably laughed, proceeding to follow him over to his stallion as her wings slipped back in without a hassle. Loki put on the tack while she coos and petted the nose of the horse, chirping away in her native tongue once again. Soon, the horse was saddled and Loki tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped, before nervously smiling. She opened her mouth but all that comes out was a series of whistles, and she frowned when she realized her mistake.

“Fuck. I meant to ask if we’re going?” He pressed his lips together tightly to mask his smile before nodding, and she sighed in relief. She went around the side of the horse, and with a jump she hauled herself up onto the back of the mount. Loki followed, settling into the seat and adjusting his legs so she was carefully situated just close enough to him that she wouldn’t fall, but still far enough away she didn’t have to touch him too much. They rode out of the stable on the stallion, a calm silence between the two of them before Loki broke it.

“How do you make that whistling noise?” She perked up and twisted around to look him in the eyes, blinking in surprise.

“So, all mammals have vocal folds as I’m sure you know,” she began, tapping the side of his neck. He pulled away slightly from the contact, and she got the silent message. “We also have this… this…” she was silent for a moment, staring at her leg with an expression of confusion before lifting her head again. “I don’t know that word in Alltongue. Well then.” she nervously laughed, fluffing her hair. “We also have this thing in our throats, and we can alternate between using that and using our mammalian vocal folds to speak. If I use my… let’s just call it a thing. If I use that, I can speak Vindrese and make bird calls, that kind of thing, because it lets me make two sounds at once.” He nodded, brows furrowing as he took in the information.

“So, your people are really quite complex creatures,” he murmured and she shrugged.

“It’s normal for us. We do have some words that can be said by people with only vocal folds, mostly words of affection. Some linguistic thing that happened thousands of years ago.” She shrugged, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around the neck of the horse. The stables were shrinking into the distance behind them, and it was peaceful.

Eventually, Loki brought the horse to a stop at the base of the hills.

“I believe you said you wanted to fly.” She grinned and quickly slides off of the horse, landing neatly on the ground and walking a few feet away. He watched as her wings sprout from her back, unfurling and stretching to their full length. There was less cracking and popping this time, but there were still a few sounds here and there. Even with less noise, the sight was no less amazing.

She inhaled and crouched, rocking back and forth as she pressed her toes into the dirt. With a leap, she started pounding her wings. She managed to hover with some effort, grinning as she swooped about, whooping with joy.

“Run!” Loki obeyed her command, and he sent his stallion into a full gallop. She followed, wings pounding furiously as she pushed to keep up. Loki couldn’t help but continually glance over at her as she flew next to him, red in the face with a smile across her lips as she hollered with joy. This was what the girl was built for, this was her intended place in life. She was never meant to be a songbird in a gilded cage to sing songs of glory for rich men while they admired her beauty. Dresses were ill-fitting compared to the redness of her face as the muscles in her wings furiously worked. This was a raptor that wore the skin of a songbird like a first face, but here, wild and free and utterly happy, she was true.

“Are you going to stop?” he called over the wind, and she nodded. She quickly looked around and she pointed to a hill off in the distance. He nodded in acknowledgement and she surged ahead, whooping with laughter and spinning about as she soared upwards. He slowed down his horse to a trot and watched as she glided over to the hill with a gentle sort of ease, clearly comfortable in the sky.

It took him much longer to get there, but soon he was clambering up the hill to join her. She was gliding about the top, making lazy circles and occasionally flying upwards before slowly spiralling down again. She landed when she saw him, stumbling slightly and waving her arms to keep her balance. She laughed at her own clumsiness before walking to the top of the hill and lying down on the grass. She held out a hand, and he gave her a questioning look.

“C’mon, have some fun!” He crouched down next to her, still refusing to take her hand.

“My idea of fun doesn’t involve lying on the grass.” She rolled her eyes and hit him in the shoulder, sending him off balance so he fell down onto his back.

“Shut up and enjoy it.” He opened his mouth to complain, but she rolled over onto her side and slapped a hand over his mouth. He huffed in frustration at the way she silenced him, but his annoyance was forgotten when he stared up at the sky.

He’d forgotten just how pretty the Asgardian sky was.

Loki stared at the sky for a long time, the clouds crossing over the blue with a lazy gait as he watched. When he finally looked away, he glanced over at the girl. She had her wings tucked underneath her, and she was looking up at the sky with a happy grin on her face. Without a second thought, Loki softly asked her a question.

“What is your home like?” she looked over at him in surprise before looking back up at the clouds and suppressing a smile.

“It’s… different. There’s portals everywhere,” she murmured. “We use them for everything. Groceries, luggage, mailing, transportation of people, anything really. That’s how I got here.” She pointed up at the sky, vaguely gesturing to one patch where her magic had gone the other day. “There’s a lot of disused portals by my school. Usually they’re dormant, but sometimes they flare up. They’re outdated so travel isn’t instant.” She shuddered, closing her eyes for a moment and letting her arm drop back to her side. “So I spent an entire day floating around in nothing.” She laughed, shaking her head. “That wasn’t fun. And Eleanor-” she cut herself off, biting her lower lip. When she remained silent, Loki raised his eyebrows.

“Who is Eleanor?” she turned her head to the side to look at him before looking away again and shrugging.

“Ex-girlfriend. Roommate. My best friend,” she softly said as she tilted her head to the side. Loki made a face briefly, turning his head back towards the sky.

“That sounds like a terrible combination of epithets. Especially if you can’t communicate with her as well because of your past relationship, that would be a horrible setup.” she turned her head to look at him, and he raised an eyebrow. “I’m not wrong.”

“No, no you aren’t wrong,” she agreed. “You’re really quite right. But I made my choices, and I wouldn’t change them for the world.” Loki furrowed his brows, turning onto his side and propping himself up on one elbow.

“Why not? Wouldn’t you rather still be at home with her as your girlfriend instead of stranded here? Logically, you would be happier.” She shrugged, pushing herself upright and pulling her knees to her chest.

“Yeah, maybe. But this is a never in a lifetime kind of thing. And I’m a never in a lifetime kind of girl.” She laughed, crossing her legs and spreading her wings with a happy sigh. Loki watched as she twisted about and ran her fingers through her wings, smoothing out the feathers. As she lifted one wing so she could easily see under the bottom, she caught him staring at the small ritual. “What?”

“Curiosity,” he replied, sitting fully upright and moving slightly closer to her. “May I?” She nodded, spreading her wings and turning her back to him.

“Just don’t pull any out. I’m not molting.” She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as he carefully ran his fingers over her feathers, her entire body relaxing with the sensation. He ran his hands over the tops of her wings and she shuddered, causing him to pull back in worry. “No, no,” she hurriedly assured. “It’s fine. It’s… quite nice actually.” He raised an eyebrow before carefully setting his hands back onto her wings. He could feel some of the muscles underneath his fingers flexing with each small twitch, and he couldn’t help but be in awe of the sheer amount of strength in her wings alone.

She wanted to fall back into his lap, but she was almost certain that would be overstepping some Asgardian social boundary that she didn’t know. The nervous ache in her gut had now shifted into her chest, and she couldn’t help but find herself wondering who the ache was for. Loki butted into the silence once more, but she was thankful for it.

“Does everyone back in your homeland have wings like yours?” she shook her head, twisting her neck to look over her shoulder at him.

“No. It’s genetic. Eleanor’s family are blue jays, the queen is a hummingbird and so is her daughter. It’s usually pretty easy to tell if people are related, although sometimes the family tree has split so far that two people will have the same wings and have never met.” Loki hummed in acknowledgement, one of his hands dipping to the place where there was a small space between her two wings. As he ran a finger over the small patch of skin where the feathers fade, she tensed up and squeaked.

“Are you alright?” he furrowed his brow, watching as her face goes red. He rubbed gentle circles into the small patch of flesh, and she swallowed heavily.

“Don’t - don’t do that,” she squeaked out, and Loki pulled away his hand from her back instantly.

“My apologies.” she shook her head, biting her lower lip. He seems almost distressed at the thought of her being uncomfortable.

“No, no, you didn’t know. It’s alright,” she quickly soothed, turning around to face him entirely but getting distracted halfway through. Her face lit up as she shaded her eyes, looking at the setting sun. “Look at that,” she breathed softly as she watched the sun begin to slowly sink below the horizon. “That’s…” she didn’t bother completing her sentence, her mouth simply staying ever so slightly open as warm pink and gold light was cast across her face.

Loki couldn’t help but swallow at the twinge in his stomach when it registered with him just how pretty she is, just how good she looked when she was red in the face with her hair strewn everywhere and her wings partially spread as she rests her chin in her hands. He swallowed again before turning his face back towards the sunset, trying to push the image of her from his head.

They sat there in utter silence as the sun sank completely below the horizon, and before they knew it the sky was full of stars. She slowly stood up and stares at the sky, her hands coming to cover her mouth as she slowly spun around and looks at the wide expanse of star after star after star. The sky was filled with them, with so many pinpricks of light she couldn’t help but be stunned into silence.

Loki let her stand there for a while, the darkness covering his gentle smile in much needed shadows. For someone more than a millennium old, she was still amazed by such small experiences as looking up at the stars. He waited to stand until his eyelids start to droop, and then he rose and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Can you teach me all of them?” He smiled, brows coming together slightly.

“Someday, little bird.” She nodded, still staring at the sky with wide eyes. Her hands had fallen to her chest, clasped tightly as her eyes glittered with the light bouncing off of them.

“We have to go, don’t we.” Loki nodded, and she turned around to face him. He saw then that her eyes were wet, full of tears that threatened to spill over. He frowned, and she laughed as the tears began to spill, rolling down her cheeks. “I’m fine. It’s just…” she glanced back up at the sky and shook her head, swallowing thickly. “I’ve never seen something quite like this.”

“Put away your wings,” he murmured. Loki wasn’t sure he could talk louder than a whisper here, not in this almost sacred silence where she was crying for a reason that was not his goading or her own pain. Here, in this darkness, she was letting herself be free. “Let’s get you back to your room.” She silently obeyed, and he gently led her to the horse by her shoulder. He lifted her onto the stallion with very little effort with how light she is, and then he climbed up himself.

He couldn’t help but suck in a deep breath when she tiredly leaned back into him without a thought, and he was almost certain that she could feel his heart pounding out of his chest against her back. She didn’t make a sound other than her soft breathing, and after a long moment he relaxed. She was asleep, worn out from her tears and a long day. With a sigh, Loki wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from falling off of the horse.

Soon, he was pulling into the stables and bringing his stallion into the stall. He shook her gently once, twice, and she was still sound asleep. Loki pulled her off of the horse and into his arms, shifting her so she was slung over his shoulder. He walked into the castle and ignored the guards who gave him questioning looks. As they approached her room, she shifted in his arms and nuzzled against his neck with a soft hum. He swallowed and shifted her head away, and she didn’t move her head back again.

When Loki reached her room, he pushed open the door and carefully set her on her bed, not bothering to tuck her in. He instead summoned a piece of parchment and a feather quill, scratching out a quick note. With that, he exited her room and tiredly headed back to his own with a sigh, trying to ignore the way his heart wouldn’t stop trying to beat out of his chest when he thought of the fact that she felt safe enough to fall asleep in his presence without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, if y'all feel like it, i'd love to get some comments, and i'll try to interact with y'all more this time around!


	19. old memories and newly written stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you all so much for you comments, they mean a lot to me! Hope you're all doing alright, and that you enjoy this chapter!

When she woke up, she was confused.

She sat up and blinked, rubbing at her eyes and then wincing when the fabric of her gloves rubbed against her face. Grimacing, she yanked off the gloves and threw them to the side, stretching and sliding out of bed just enough to pull off the leathers that still covered her. Dropping the riding clothing to the ground, she reached underneath the bed and pulled out the now ratty tank top and pair of shorts she had arrived in. Tiredly pulling them on, she rubbed her forehead and turned around, a confused look on her face.

She noticed a small paper flutter to the ground, and she picked it up without a second thought.

_Little bird,_

_You fell asleep on the ride back and wouldn’t wake when we returned. I carried you back to your room. I hope you enjoyed yourself._

_Loki_

She found herself pressing her lips together to stifle a smile, and she carefully folded up the letter. She pulled open the drawer of the table by her bed and shoved it in. She paused halfway through closing it, spotting the letter she had brought here with her. When had that been in the first place? She thought it was months, but she didn’t know at that point. Time had blurred together into one messy mass, and the only anchor that leads her through a timeline was the progression of Loki’s changes in attitude.

While her brain was mulling over time and its ridiculous, unreadable passage, she grabbed the letter from the drawer and opened it up.

_Hey. I don’t really know how to start letters anymore. I don’t think either of us do, really? It’s weird having to make that change. Anyways-_

Her reading was cut off by the door being slowly opened, the hinges creaking and snapping her to attention. Loki was standing in the doorway, and they simply stared each other in the eyes for a long moment. Her body was shaking, and she could tell that Loki clearly saw it. His eyes flitted to the letter in her hands and then back to her face, his brows furrowing in worry.

“Are you-” before he could finish, she cut him off by dropping the letter back in the drawer and slamming it shut so hard the piece of furniture rattled violently, causing Loki to jump in surprise.

“I’m fine,” she bit out as she firmly gripped the edge of the bedside table. “Just fucking dandy, thank you very much.”

“No, you aren’t.” She leaned over the bedside table, her nails digging firmly into the wood and leaving deep marks she unconsciously knew wouldn’t disappear easily. “You’re pretending. Again.” She screwed her eyes shut, shaking as she continued to grip the wood. The door closed and she heard Loki’s footsteps grow closer. There was a moment of tension, but then his hand was on her back and comfortingly rubbing up and down her spine without ever dipping too low.

“I’d forgotten about that note,” she thickly muttered around the tears that threatened her. “That’s all I just-” she cut herself off with silence, standing upright. Loki’s hand didn’t leave her, and she took a deep breath as she let the buzz of his magic that sat beneath his skin comfort her. “I’m good. We’re good here,” she exhaled as she brushed her hair out of her face before giving herself a weak smile.

“I’d point out that you’re lying once again, but it wouldn’t do any good with how stubborn you are,” he gently teased as she ran her fingers underneath her eyes. She found no dampness from any tears, and sighed in relief. “I was supposed to bring you to breakfast,” he murmured softly as she stared at the wall. “But I suppose that is out of the question.” She faced him, brows furrowed before she rushed over to her closet.

“No, no,” she said. “I have to show up. Otherwise, otherwise they’ll think I’m not okay.” Loki snorted, rolling his eyes and slowly shaking his head.

“You aren’t. You aren’t the goddess of lies, I am.” She weakly laughed at that, shaking her head with a heavy sigh.

“You aren’t going to let me go to breakfast, are you?” He shook his head, and she fell back onto her bed with a huff. “I’m hungry.” Loki softly sighed, carefully sitting down on the edge of the bed and rubbing his hands.

“I’ll take you to breakfast under the condition that if someone asks you why you happen to be so tired, you lie.” She glanced over at him, making a small questioning noise. “I don’t follow rules, little bird. What we did last night broke an awful lot of them in your regard. Technically speaking, you aren’t supposed to go that far outside the limits of the city.” She sighed, dropping her hands onto her face and heavily sighing.

“Fine. Just know I’m not the best at lying,” she grumbled as she stood up and shuffled over to her closet. She stared at the dresses for a long while, and soon she heard the bed creak as Loki stood up.

“You can’t go to breakfast.” It wasn’t a question; it was a firm statement that there isn’t any arguing with. She slumped into the dresses and groaned, biting the inside of her cheek. “Stay here.” There was a soft pop and a wave of cold, clear air hit her back and filled her nose. She didn’t bother turning around to look at him, because she knew he had gone to do something or another.

She tiredly shuffled over to her bed and bent over, reaching around until she gripped a fistful of leather. She pulled out the worn, dusty, beaten leather satchel she had carried with her here on accident, and she chucked it onto the bed with a soft grunt. Hauling herself up after it, she opened it and began pulling things out, one by one.

First, she pulled out the small painting. She ran her fingers lightly over the canvas, holding it to her chest for a moment and closing her eyes tightly. She cradled it, rocking back and forth before letting out a little sigh before setting it to the side. The next thing that came out was her dagger, which she unsheathed and looked over, tracing the carvings in the handle that Eleanor had made all that time ago.

Before she could register what was happening, there was a clatter of plates and the moment she blinked, her dagger flew from her hand and embedded itself deep into the wall. There were plates of food on the small table that resides in her room, and Loki was standing by her bed with his hand around her wrist and a fury in his eyes. He stared at her for a moment before walking over to the table, and she blinked a few times as she watched all physical signs of his rage dissipate.

“Eat. You’ll feel better.” She stared at the plates over on the table as he picked one up and began eating slowly. After a long moment, she slipped off of the bed and scurried over to a chair, curling up and quickly taking the remaining plate. She soon finished off all of the food and carefully set her plate down again, sitting sideways in the chair so her legs draped off of the armrest. Loki finished soon after her, and with a wave of his hands the plates disappeared. “Do you have any desire to talk about what has put you into this state?” she rubbed her arms, looking up and sighing heavily.

“I found the letter Eleanor slipped into my bag before I left.” As she spoke, she let a cord of her magic drift over to the bed. Loki watched as a crude, golden hand carefully slipped the painting back into the leather bag before drifting over to where he had embedded the knife in the wall. It pulled, but the knife was too deeply embedded for her lazy magic to do anything. With a flick of his wrist, the knife was soaring into the bag without a second thought. “I don’t know what happened. I just started shaking, and…” she trailed off. Loki hummed thoughtfully, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You touched on a point of trauma, namely how you were ripped away from your closest friend in an extremely traumatic manner. It’s a miracle you didn’t go into a full blown panic attack,” he calmly commented, gesturing vaguely with his hands. “You continuously return to a point of trauma in a way that worsens the situation instead of allowing it to heal. It’s unhealthy.” She blinked in surprise, straightening up at this new information.

“You said heal. Can you heal this? Can you just, clear it up?” He blinked in surprise, considering the situation for a moment.

“Not with magic. We wouldn’t be able to heal it so much as muffle it. It would come back, and when it returned there would likely be even worse repercussions. Minds don’t really heal,” he softly said as he watched her slump back in the chair, disappointment written across her face. “Not fully. Never fully. But improval is always possible.” They sat in silence and she stared at the ceiling, taking a few deep breaths and trying to push aside the thought of Eleanor’s letter. Eventually, she sighed and sat upright, swinging out of the chair and glancing around her room to look for her leathers.

“I’m going to go find Thor and train. I can’t deal with this any longer,” she declared as she hopped down from the chair and darted over to her bed, taking her dagger out and strapping the sheath around her hips.

“Little bird,” Loki softly said as he stood up and walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t overwork yourself.” She felt him hesitate, but he was suddenly gone as suddenly as he had been there. She sighed, turning around and leaving her room, storming through the corridors with a small vial of barely contained emotion threatening to spill over in her chest.

When she reached the training area, Thor was there without any of his posse of drinking buddies. The entire clearing was fairly empty, with only a few scattered people training. She ran over to Thor, skidding across the dirt and sending up a spray of it as she came to a stop next to him. He turned to look at her, face lighting up with a wide smile as he clapped her on the shoulder.

“My lady! It is good to see you. My brother seems to take all of your time for himself these days,” he chuckled, making her smile slightly.

“Yeah. Are you up for a sparring match?” Thor nodded, picking up his hammer from the ground and twirling it in his hand. She took a few steps back, pulling her dagger from its sheath and tossing it from hand to hand. Shifting her feet about, she took note of the substance coating the arena floor. It was sand, by her best guess. With a quick nod, she fell into position and gave Thor a cheeky grin to hide herself behind. “Let’s go.”

Thor moved first, swinging his hammer in a wide arc. She slid underneath his swing, landing behind him and rolling back into a standing position. As he turned around, she drove her heel into the sand and kicked up a cloud, giving her a little bit of cover while Thor reacted to dash forwards and slice Thor’s hip. He stumbled as she breezed past, his hand flying to his side and coming away with a thin line of blood on it.

“You’re good.” She grinned, standing upright as he dropped his hammer to tend to his wound. “I can understand why my brother has taken such a liking to you.” Her heart jumped a little, uncertain how Thor had meant his use of the word “liking”. She swallowed it down, trying to ignore the small bit of emotion that was pooling in her stomach at the thought of the prince fancying her. Her smile faltered, and instead of forcing it back she let it fall to a neutral expression.

“He’s not a bad companion himself,” she calmly commented as she watched Thor pick up his hammer again. His wound was already stitching back together, but she had cut a little bit too deep for another round of sparring. “I’ve taken a liking to him myself, I believe.” He gave her a smile at that, wide and genuine as he shook his head slightly.

“You should run off. Clean up before the entirety of Asgard swarms you. Take care, good lady.” She saluted Thor with a smirk, sheathing her dagger. With a wave goodbye, she dashed away, leaving Thor shaking his head at the knowledge of how her and Loki were dancing around each other, neither of them bold enough to take a step closer and close the gap into a proper dance.

-

Eleanor was so tired.

Her hands were riddled with paper cuts from flicking through tens of thousands of papers and having to scan the information on each and every one of them. Valencia wasn’t helping either, merely sitting off to the side and filing her nails into points.

She wanted to sob. Eleanor felt like she would never get her friend back at this point. She closed her eyes, hands shaking she held one of the papers, her face burning with heat as she shoved back the tears. After spending a moment collecting herself, she opened her eyes. It wasn’t this one either. She set the paper to the side, hissing in pain as fresh blood welled up on her brown skin. She shoved the cut against her mouth and sucked off the blood as she looked at the next paper, trying to dull the ache.

There it was. Or at least the first something she had seen. A large red “UNAPPROVED” was stamped over the top of it, and the energy spike was high, high enough to be travel between realms.

“Va- Ms. Graves,” Eleanor said, pulling her mouth away from her paper cut and picking up the paper. She stood up and walked over to where Valencia was, holding out the paper. “I found something.” The older woman took the paper, looked it over, glanced back up at Eleanor, and stood up with the soft sound of her white feathers rubbing together.

“You’re dismissed. Go back to your university. I’ll call you when this is processed.” Eleanor swallowed back tears as she nodded, turning and half running from the room. She bolted down the hallway to the elevator, slamming the down arrow until a ride appeared. It was blissfully empty, she noted as she stumbled inside, grabbing the railing along the walls and letting fat tears roll down her cheeks with choked sobs.

Eleanor didn’t know if she even believed her friend was alive anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello Eleanor, you're certainly having a time of it


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! thank you all so much for 200+ kudos and coming up on 4000 hits, it really means a lot to me that y'all enjoy this! i hope you enjoy this week's chapter, comment your thoughts if you want, and I'll see you next week!

It had been around a week since whatever had happened out there in the hills had occurred, and they had begun consciously dancing around each other. 

That morning, Loki didn’t seek her out. She sought out Loki, searching for them diligently. After some searching, she bumped into them in the hallway, quite literally walking directly into their chest. Loki had their hair tied up, and some of their facial features had shifted ever so slightly. She opened her mouth to apologize and instantly felt her face heat up when Loki raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. Watcher, they were  _ pretty _ today.

“Looking for me?” She nodded, her mouth snapping shut as she took a few moments to compose herself.

“You tied your hair up.” They nodded, touching the ponytail and shrugging. “It looks good.” Loki nodded, letting themselves smile a little bit.

“I was in the mood. I don’t know why, but when my gender is floating in a sort of in between area, it feels nice.” She nodded, mentally noting that fact. “Is there a reason you were looking for me?” Her brain fumbles about for a reason.

“I was wondering if you wanted to spar?” Loki blinks in surprise before nodding.

“Gladly. However, I’m not in the mood to go anywhere near Thor and his bumbling idiots of friends.” They offered their hand, and she quickly slid her hand into their grasp. “Hold on. I’d hate to lose you in between.” She suddenly felt the same rush as she had teleporting the night they got drunk together, and she stumbled forward as the two of them arrived together in a fairly large empty room. She fell forward, but an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. Loki looked down at her, one eyebrow raised. “You fall rather a lot.” She swallowed heavily, giving them a smirk and raising her eyebrows.

“Well, it’s easy to fall for you.” There was a moment of silence where she could feel a slight panic building, but then Loki laughed. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as they laughed, and she joined in with them. She hoped desperately that her poor attempt at something like flirting wasn’t internally freaking Loki out, but she couldn’t know. She could only hope. Their arm slowly left its spot around her waist, and they laughed together for a little bit until Loki let out a small sigh.

“Well, I suppose I’ll just keep catching you.” She smiled nervously at that, and Loki summoned two daggers. They passed one over to her, and she tossed it back and forth between her hands with a hum. 

“What is this place?” She took a few steps back from Loki, and they did the same, falling into position to spar.

“It was built for the sorcerer’s guild. There isn’t an actual door. The idea is you can’t use it until you’re skilled enough to teleport.” She made a small sound of interest, wiggling her fingers around the grip of the borrowed dagger. 

“And you’re part of this guild?” She dashed forwards and slashed at Loki, and they promptly hopped out of the way with a chuckle.

“I’m the head of the guild, little bird.” She made a small “oh” sound and rolled to the side as Loki moved to slice her thigh. “Head Sorcerer.”

“That sounds like a fairly important job,” she commented offhandedly as she tried to stab them in the shoulder. “Yet you seem to have a fairly lax life.” They shrugged, twisting to the side and catching her across the hip with their dagger. She hissed in pain, rolling away and putting slight pressure on the burning cut.

“It’s fairly self sufficient in times of peace. Most of what I do is lead them into battle. I’ve visited them a few times recently, and they were fine. They tend to be more scholarly than anything else as it is.” She shrugged, raising her eyebrows before letting them fall.

“Interesting. And don’t shred my tank top, please. I’d like to keep it.” They laughed lightly, shrugging and dashing towards her. An assortment of Lokis spread from them as they charged her, and soon she was surrounded with a circle made of the royal. They all moved in sync, circling her as she crouched in the center. Taking a deep breath, she ran towards one of the many Lokis. She crowed in triumph as she burst through the illusion, but she cut herself off with a yelp of pain as the real Loki brought their dagger up and sliced open her left shoulder. 

The illusions faded as she tumbled to the ground, the dagger she had been holding clattering across the stone floor as her grip loosened and she let the blade go flying. She pushed herself into a sitting position with a hiss of pain, gripping her left shoulder as she felt it throbbing under her palm. Loki was standing still, their eyes wide as they stared at the blood on her shoulder. She pulled her palm away and made a face at the blood spread across it, looking back up at Loki.

“I don’t suppose you could heal this.” Loki nodded, quickly moving forward and taking a seat on the stone floor. She slid off the left strap of her tank top, and Loki thickly swallowed. “I’d appreciate it if you actually did something.” 

“Of course.” They slid closer to her, moving to sit behind her and wrapping their hand around her shoulder and beginning to funnel in their energy. Letting out a sigh as the pain began to drain away little by little, she slumped back against Loki so her back was against their chest. Loki froze, their breath coming to a dead stop.

“You’re so cold,” she murmured as she let her eyes drift shut. They let out their breath, shrugging offhandedly. They fumbled around for a response for a few moments mentally, rolling around a few responses in their mind as they focused on the magic buzzing under her skin.

“You’re quite warm,” they fire back, and she snorts. After a moment, she starts giggling, covering her mouth with her free hand in an attempt to muffle the noise.

“What,” she began between bursts of giggles. “Silver tongue turned to lead?” They raised an eyebrow, shaking their hand with a smirk.

“Well, with such warm words as yours, it was easily melted.” she felt her face heating up and they chuckled, shaking their head.

They sat in silence for a while. It was a soft silence, marked only by the two of them breathing and her occasional hiss of pain. There was blood dripping down her arm still, but it wasn’t nearly as quick as it had been in the beginning. She was sure the guild would be able to clean the floor with some spell or another anyways. As they sat there together, a gentle realization curled around her mind like a cat in a beam of sunshine. 

She felt comfortable in silence with Loki nowadays. In the beginning, their silences together had been tense and fraught with the threat of a fight, whether verbal or physical. They had slowly eased out of that at some point, and now their shared silences were gentle. There were no airs, at least not on her side. She knew she had not yet peeled away all of the layers of Loki, and she didn’t expect to. For after all, an onion was edible after the removal of only a few layers of skin. She supposed what truly shocked her was how much she had come to rely on them. They hadn’t been anywhere near the possibility of a close friend when she had fallen, but now that she had picked herself up a little they looked a little bit kinder in her eyes.

Watcher. She was going to trip and fall over her heart, wasn’t she?

“Where did you learn to knife fight?” she snapped out of her head at the sound of Loki’s voice, jolting slightly and hissing slightly when her movement caused them to reflexively slightly dig their fingers into her shoulder. “Apologies.”

“It’s fine. This gang of kids taught me. When I was still in my first few centuries, I had too much time on my hands. They keep you out of university until you’re at least five hundred. So that gave me four hundred years to do whatever I wanted.” Loki furrowed their brow, looking down at her in confusion.

“Keep you out of university?” she nodded, twisting about slightly to look Loki in the eyes. 

“Schooling is free. Entirely free. You can start when you’re five hundred and go until you die. I’ve spent centuries in school. I’ve studied most branches of magicks, but I found that I preferred sigil casting. So I went deeper into that study and I’m the most comfortable with it. I never studied your neat and clean method, but I can roughly approximate something similar to it.” Loki shifted slightly, rearranging the two of them so she was facing them and they could still heal her shoulder.

“I’ve never heard of sigil casting. How is it performed, what is the main use?” Her face lit up, and she began to gesture before hissing in pain and reflexively clamping her hand down onto Loki’s where it sat healing her shoulder. 

“Sorry about that,” she murmured as she slowly rolled her shoulder in an attempt to lessen the ache. “So, Aesir, Old Norse, whatever you want to call it, works off of a set of runes, right?” they nodded, and she smirked slightly. “Vindrese works off of a series of basic shapes that form the primary letters, and by adding supplemental symbols to these shapes you can differentiate between the different sounds.” Lighting up the tips of her fingers with her golden magic, she quickly traced two shapes onto the floor space between them. The first looked like the basic shape of a shepherd's crook, and a C-shape sat on the stem. The second one was similar to a Z rotated ninety degrees and flipped horizontally, and a O with two horizontal lines crossed the middle. They softly glowed on the floor, and she looked up at Loki. She felt her chest ache slightly when they raised their eyebrows and cocked their head to the side, and she swallowed heavily. Now was not the time.

“I take it that’s an example of the symbols?” she nods, pointing to the symbols one at a time.

“It’s your name directly translated to Vindrese. Most names would require some shifting to fit properly within the rules, but yours works perfectly. The first symbol is pronounced Lo, and the second is pronounced Ki.” she trilled the K sound, holding it while she finished the word. Loki blinked in surprise, and she broke into a smile. “Syrinx.”

“Every single time I think you and Vindrheim are out of surprises, you hit me with a new one.” She shrugged, carefully lifting their hand from her shoulder. There was a leftover nasty line, but she thought it would mostly heal in a few days. Her shoulder and their hand are still covered in her blood, and she wrinkled her face in disgust. Loki summoned a rag and passed it to her, and she stood up and wiped down her arm. Tossing the rag back to Loki, they deftly caught it and wiped off their own hands with a face of mild disgust and displeasure, their nose wrinkling.

“We probably shouldn’t spar any more today, should we?” Loki shook their head, and she noticed that they had a heaviness to their body that hadn’t been there before.

“Healing drains me heavily due to my lack of experience. My mother was in charge of healing your worst injuries.” She nodded, and began to walk towards the wall as if there was a door there before stopping and putting a hand on Loki’s shoulder and giving them an embarrassed smile. 

“I can’t get out of here.” Loki laughed and wrapped their hand around her arm, and there was that slightly more familiar rush before they were suddenly standing outside of her room once more. “Thank you, Loki.” they smiled, giving her uninjured shoulder a squeeze before letting go.

“I’m going to go rest. You should do the same, little bird.” She smiled and shook her head as Loki turned away and walked towards some unknown destination.

“ _ Give my fucking heart a rest _ ,” she whispered softly to herself as she pushed open her door and entered her room, the wood of the door thunking shut behind her.


	21. bar fight and feelings (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! It's this week’s update, and we’re edging closer to some things I’m very excited to see y’alls’ reaction to! (Is this opening dramatic? Yes but I don’t care akfksjfl) As always, drop a comment if you’re so inclined, and thank you so much for reading!

She didn’t know what her heart was doing anymore. Did she have the sun in her eyes again, or was she longing for Vindrheim still?

She didn’t know, and Watcher, she didn’t have the energy to bother caring. What was the difference really, between flying into the sun and plummeting to the ground? They both hurt like all hell at the end of the day, but either way she’d heal. She had healed well enough from Eleanor, no matter how much that had stung and burned and pulled at her heart. She’d made a clean break, or at least one clean enough that she couldn’t feel the burn of pain in Eleanor’s heart each time they had made eye contact. 

The point was now, late at night, she didn’t have the energy to care anymore about why her chest ached in such a familiar, bittersweet manner.

She turned her head as she heard a soft clicking outside of the door to her room, slipping out of bed and walking over to the door before carefully pulling it open. Loki was standing outside of her door, dressed in an elegant dark green dress and a black cloak lined with a pattern of golden embroidery. Her hair was pulled up into a neat arrangement of braids, and not one bit was out of place. Loki blinked in surprise, looking down at her.

“You heard me coming.” she nodded, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the doorway to her room.

“Your shoes click on the floor.” Loki chuckled, and took a few steps into the girl’s room. She followed Loki, shutting the door behind her and watching as the princess swiftly made her way over to the closet and began shuffling through the dresses. “Is there a reason you’re rifling through my clothing?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Loki pulled out a navy dress, running her well manicured nails across the fabric with a contemplative hum. “I’m taking you out again. You remember that tavern from before?” as she spoke, Loki ran the fabric of the hem of the dress between her fingers. Small, almost hidden, green embroidery popped up underneath Loki’s fingers. “Here.” Loki tossed her the dress, and she deftly caught it. At a closer look, the small embroidered designs were twisting and curling snakes. 

“Isn’t there some sort of taboo against wearing a royal’s color?” Loki scoffed, dismissively waving a hand.

“There’s quite a large gap between wearing entirely my colors and me decorating the edge of your dress in a way that’s functional and fashionable. Nobody will even notice. And you need to get out of that ratty tank top.” Loki looked the other girl up and down, and raised her eyebrows. “I cut open the shoulder with a dagger, and you still haven’t had the Norn-gifted common sense to remove it and burn it.”

“If you want to take me out, you better stop insulting my clothing.” Loki smiled, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head to the side with a mocking simper.

“When you develop taste in fashion, I will. Now go change.” She laughed as Loki shooed her into the bathroom and shut the door behind her with a thud.

“You know,” she began as she slid out of her tank top and shorts before walking over the the sink and wiping off some grime with a spare washcloth. “I could have just changed out there.” Loki was silent for a moment.

“You’re used to seeing me in a more masculine form,” Loki said through the door. “I wasn’t sure how comfortable you’d be with me expecting you to just strip now that I’m presenting differently and my pronouns have shifted.” She slipped on the dress and smoothed it out, walking back open to the door and opening it wide so she could see Loki once more.

“I wouldn’t have minded. I would have been fine changing in front of any of your forms, snake.” Loki smiled at the nickname, raising her eyebrow with a smirk. 

“Are you insinuating you wish to bed me?” She laughs, hoping that Loki doesn’t notice her face going red with embarrassment at the question.

“I insinuated nothing of the sort. You’re the one reaching for things that aren’t there.” Loki looked at her for a long moment, a smirk on her face as the silence hung between the two of them.

“Maybe I am reaching for things.” She swallowed as she picked up on Loki’s failure to state that she was jumping to assumptions with no truth. Her chest ached again, and she covered it up with a quick rise and fall of her eyebrows.

“You said you were taking me out.” Loki extended a hand and she took it, taking a deep breath as she felt the rush of teleportation around her. When they came out the other side, Loki frowned and a shimmer of green crossed their face. Their body was still very feminine, but their face was like it had been the other day.

“Let’s go.” They dragged her inside by the hand they were still holding, clinging tightly and not letting go. She followed them, trying to ignore the way her heart seemed to want to leap out of her chest. The tavern was quieter tonight, with still plenty of patrons but not nearly the same amount of noise. Loki leaned over towards her, speaking softly in her ear. “Give me a few minutes. I have something I must take care of.” She nodded as Loki pulled away, removing their hand from hers. She walked over to the bar and took an empty stool while Loki disappeared into the crowd, leaning her elbows on the countertop. The bartender looked at her, clearly inviting her to order.

“Surprise me.” The bartender held out a hand, and she felt her stomach drop. She still didn’t have any money here. Almost as if Loki had suddenly remembered the same, a golden coin appeared in her hand. Placing the coin on the counter, she looked about and caught sight of Loki among a crowd of people, talking as if they hadn’t just performed a sleight of hand with the pile of gold on the table. She smirked, rolling her eyes and facing the bar once more. 

“Hey.” she looked to the side, and had to restrain herself from grimacing when she caught sight of the man on the stool next to her. “Don’t suppose you’d let me buy you a drink?” She raised her eyebrows and wrinkled her face in disgust, shaking her head.

“No thanks.” She turned to face the bartender once more, but the man spoke once more.

“Oh, a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be out alone.” She looked at him once more, shaking her head more firmly this time.

“I said no. Leave me the fuck alone.” The bartender set her drink in front of her, and she threw it back without another word.

“You deserve another drink.”

“I said no. Fuck off.” The man looked at the bartender and held up a finger, and she decided she had had enough. She stood up and began to walk away, but the stranger grabbed her wrist.

That wasn’t a good choice. 

Without a second thought, she sharply twisted his wrist and listened to the scream of pain from him before promptly hurling him into the far wall and watching him hit the floor with a thud. The tavern filled with the scent of honeysuckle, and a group of men clustered around the stranger. She felt Loki’s familiar magic behind her, and she snarled as her magic curled around the tips of her fingers.

“I told you to fuck off, idiot. Maybe that’ll teach you to stop harassing strangers,” she screeched, moving to advance on the offender only to have Loki put a hand on her shoulder.

“Leave him,” they murmured softly as she summoned a dagger to her hand without a second thought. “It’s not worth it, getting locked up for a bar fight.” They held out a hand for her dagger. She stared at the offender across the room, seeing the look of fear in his eyes as she twisted her weapon about in her grasp. With a sigh, she placed her dagger in Loki’s hand and let them drag her out of the tavern.

“I could have handled him myself,” she complained as they dragged her off, moving down the street rapidly.

“You would have seriously injured that man. And as much as I would have loved to see that, believe me, if you take one step outside of the law I do not trust my father will not throw you in the dungeons.” She stopped, her hand slipping from Loki’s as she blinked at them in surprise.

“That was self defense. Your father can’t lock me up for defending myself.” Loki turned around and looked at her, walking towards her and taking both of her hands.

“Self defense?” She nodded, furrowing her brows.

“He wouldn’t stop harassing me, Loki. I tried to leave and he grabbed my wrist. Do I seem like I would meaninglessly attack someone?” They didn’t seem to hear her last sentence, their eyes lighting up with a fire that she hadn’t seen since the day they had fought her in the hallway. 

“I’m going to stab him.” As Loki tried to pull away, she grasped their hands tightly and pulled against them.

“Loki, no. No, no no no. You can’t stab anyone, no matter how important you are.” They kept pulling, and she harshly yanked on their hands and pulled them back in front of her with a grunt of effort. “Please, Loki. Don’t get in trouble,” she begged, looking them in the eyes. Loki looked at her for a long moment before letting out a long breath and ceasing to pull.

“You’re being hypocritical.” She laughed, giving Loki’s hands a brief squeeze before letting go of one. She used the hand she was still holding to guide Loki beside her as she began to walk down the street, back in a direction she believed led to the palace.

“I know.” Loki didn’t pull away their hand, so she left her hand in their grasp.

“I should have been with you.” She looked up in surprise, raising her eyebrows. “My apologies.”

“I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I was tired as it is. It might be a good thing we’re going back early.” She could feel the alcohol she had thrown back in the bar beginning to hit her blood, and judging by the slight tint on Loki’s cheeks revealed by the streetlamps, they had drunk a little as well.

“There’s no point in walking.” There was the rush of teleportation, and suddenly they were walking down the halls of the palace. She slipped her hand from theirs, yawning as the smell of their magic filled her nose. “Go,” they murmured, tapping her on the shoulder. “Rest.”

“Thank you, snake,” she murmured as she pulled away from them and walked down the hallway towards her room. Once she was out of sight, Loki turned around and went back to their own room.

She stumbled into her room and traded her dress for a nightgown strewn across her couch that she didn’t remember seeing when she had left, but didn’t have the energy to question. Within moments of hitting the mattress, she was asleep.

-

Her sleep was not sound by any means. She awoke within the hour, chest heaving as she cried. She was afraid of what she had seen, and while she knew that minds enjoyed playing with the shadows they cast, she needed to shed light on hers and remove the fear that was taking over her entire body. The shadow puppets in her head were just a little too real, and she needed to banish them.

Without a second thought, she stumbled down the hallways as fast as she could to Loki’s door and knocked on it as well as she could with how much she was shaking. For a moment, there was no response. But after a long moment, the door swung open to reveal Loki sitting on a couch, curled up with a book on his lap. Candles sat scattered around him, illuminating his face. They looked at each other for a long moment before Loki made a sharp gesture with his head to indicate she could enter. She hurriedly stumbled over to the couch, taking a seat and curling in on herself as the door swung shut behind her. 

She didn’t say a word to Loki. She just kept crying, biting down on her lip in an attempt to muffle the choked sobs that threatened to leave her mouth as she shook. 

Without a word, Loki sighed and pulled her close with an arm draped around her shoulders. He never looked up from his book as he tucked her close to his body, merely turning another page in silence. She turned her face and pressed it into his shoulder, taking heaving breaths as she fought to steady herself. He slowly rubbed gentle circles into her shoulder, humming so his chest vibrated as he continued to read his book. She clung to his shirt, rubbing the fabric and taking deep breaths as she slowly calmed down.

Here in the candlelight as Loki soothed her without second thought, her mind seemed a little bit less scary than it had before.

Pulling her face from his now tear-stained undershirt, she turned to face the same direction as Loki. She looked down at the book he was reading, and let out a breath of relief. It was in runes, meaning she could distract herself from her thoughts and that uncomfortably real nightmare. 

She never wanted to see Eleanor’s body that damaged ever again.

She began slowly mouthing the words one by one, stumbling over the majority of the runes and frowning. Loki glanced at her before sighing and gently squeezing her shoulder. He began softly reading the text, and she closed her mouth as she stayed tightly pressed against his chilled body. His smooth voice lulled her, letting her eyes drift shut slightly and flutter. She opened her mouth once more, and for a moment she found she couldn’t say a word. After a few moments, she whispered to the dark prince.

“I dreamt that I lost my home forever,” she murmured. “It was burning. Everyone was dying.” Loki seemed to lose his voice for a moment, but he kept reading, his voice increasing slightly in volume. “Eleanor was dead.” Loki sighed and closed his book. Setting his book on the floor, he used his free hand to gently stroke her hair.

He let her babble about her nightmare until she was fast asleep with her head in his lap, the shadows in her head a little less threatening.


	22. panicking and a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everybody! i had to take the psat yesterday, and i hope that any of you that took it did well! new chapter today, and we're getting closer to some things I'm very much looking forward to. i hope you all enjoy the chapter, leave a comment if you want, and I'll see you all next chapter!

Waking up was peaceful with the sun gently cast across her eyelids. When she opened her eyes, she immediately squinted, but soon she had adjusted to the light. She hummed softly, looking about without moving her head.

She was in Loki’s room; that much was evident from the green and gold decor. It was also made fairly obvious when she looked up and her breath hitched at the sight of Loki peacefully sitting upright. She smiled, and she registered small movements in her hair that were brushing along her scalp. His hand was tangled in her hair, gently flexing in a motion that rubbed her head in a soothing manner. She softly hummed, letting Loki continue his motions in his sleep as she let her eyes drift shut. She was happy here. She wanted to reach up and touch his cheek to wake him, and then sit up and –

Oh no. She wanted to kiss him. She was fantasizing about a soft world where she could wake up and kiss him. 

This wasn’t good. It wasn’t good, but it made sense. Why she had felt that familiar, yearning ache in her chest, and Loki was able to fluster her with a feather light touch. She had felt this blossoming into existence, yet she had done nothing to stop it. This was all her fault.

She didn’t feel guilty at all. Fuck it, she wanted to kiss Loki, she enjoyed waking up with him, so what? Maybe he felt the same way as her. Yes, he was a prince, but he was her friend.

He was a prince.  _ Shit _ .

Trying to keep calm, she carefully removed herself from Loki’s couch. She paused a few times when she thought she felt him stirring, but he settled back into the couch without waking. Once she wasn’t touching him anymore, she stumbled towards the door to his room. She was shaking, and she had to find Thor as quickly as possible. Slipping from Loki’s room, she pulled her robe tighter and travelled one door down. It would make sense that the rooms of the princes would be close together, she thought to herself as her hand was already lightly tapping on the door. The door cracked open to reveal Thor, looking half awake and somewhat annoyed.

“Thor, I need your help.” Thor raised his eyebrows, before opening the door just enough to let her slip in, shutting it behind her as she stood shaking in his room.

“What happened?” She swallowed, rubbing her hands together nervously as she took a deep breath.

“I had a nightmare last night and I went to Loki and I ended up falling asleep in his lap and when I woke up this morning…” she felt her face grow hot, and she covered her face with her palms. “I wanted to kiss him.” There was a moment, and before she knew it she was being swept up in a crushing hug, her feet dangling above the ground as Thor laughed.

“You’re going to court my brother! My congratulations to the two of you!” Her face was on fire at this point, and she pulled her hands away from her face to hit Thor’s arm.

“Thor, I can’t court him!” she yelled under her breath, and Thor gave her a questioning look.

“Why not?” he lowered her slightly, and she felt the corners of her eyes pricking with tears.

“He’s a prince, Thor. I can’t date him, court him, anything. He’s a prince and that means he has to be married to someone of a similar status.” He set her down, and his two large hands came to rest on either side of her head. “I’m going to have to watch him date someone else someday.” Her eyes widened, and she leaned into Thor’s hands. “Shit.  _ Shit _ .”

“Hold on, hold on,” Thor soothed, gently cradling her small face. “Yes, Loki is indeed a prince. But they are the second prince. He has more freedom, my lady.” Her breathing slowed slightly, and a stray tear slid down her cheek only to be quickly brushed away by his thumb. “There will not be nearly as much value placed on their marriage. And you have an advantage. You come from Vindrheim, and you are the first in millenia. You have more worth in marriage than you would as a citizen of Asgard.” She blinked twice, before smiling and softly laughing.

“You know an awful lot about this.” Thor smiled, shaking his head with a laugh.

“I am a prince too. And I will be king one day, so these are things I must consider when choosing a queen. The point is, you have a chance my lady.” She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths and letting Thor’s words sink in.

“I have a chance,” she breathed, opening her eyes with a smile. “Holy fuck, I have a chance.” She pulled away from Thor’s hands, shoving her hands into her hair and laughing. “I have a chance!” She paused for a moment, staring at the floor before rapidly turning around to face Thor. “How do I do this?”

Thor bit the inside of his cheek, a small smile on his face.

“The spring ball is coming up in a few days to celebrate the harvest of the planting season.” She raises her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk.

“You have a plan.” It wasn’t a question, but Thor nodded anyways.

“You know how my brother’s main color is green.” she slowly nodded, looking curiously at him. “He is also extremely possessive.” 

“So,” she slowly begins, taking a step closer to Thor. “If I show up dressed entirely in green…” Thor nodded.

“He’ll likely be by your side before you could say your name.” She let out a short laugh of disbelief, running her fingers through her hair over and over again as she looked down at the floor.

“I need a dress. I need a green dress. Shit. Everyone is going to be wanting dresses.” She looked back up at Thor, an embarrassed smile on her face. “You could get a dress through without problem, couldn’t you?” Thor, raised an eyebrow, clearly trying to suppress a smile.

“Are you not a sorceress?” Her face heated up once more, and she sheepishly covered her face with her hands.

“I’m an idiot, that’s what I am,” she muttered into her palms with a heavy sigh. “I can edit one of my dresses.” Dropping her hands, she looked at Thor with a smile. “Thank you.”

“It was no problem, good lady!” He swept her up into another hug, holding her tightly with a laugh. “You have been good to my sibling. I trust that you will continue to be,” he said with a slight threat to his tone. She nervously laughed, patting the top of Thor’s head.

“I couldn’t hurt him without hurting myself, Thor.” He laughed and set her down, happily ruffling her hair before clapping her on the shoulder.

“Good. Now, you better go. Otherwise, there will be plenty of unfavorable gossip flying around, none of which my brother will like.” Smiling, she hurried over to the door and cracked it open before glancing back at Thor.

“Thank you.” With that she was gone, rushing down the hallway in her nightgown, trying to make it back to her room as quickly as possible. However, before she could make it out of the hallway, a door swung open and she was forced to skid to a halt so she didn’t slam face first into the wood.

“Hello there, magpie.” she sheepishly turned to face the doorway, where Loki was casually leaning against the frame. “You seem to be in a rush.”

“I had to ask Thor a question.” Loki smirked, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. “And I didn’t want to wake you up. You looked peaceful.” He smiles at that, rolling his eyes and shaking his head before retreating back into his room. He looked over her shoulder at her, and she followed him inside as the door swung shut behind her.

“My apologies for not escorting you back to your room last night. I fell asleep soon after you.” She chuckled, shaking her head as Loki changed his clothing with a snap of his fingers. “I imagine you must have been quite disoriented.”

“It was fine. I didn’t mind,” she offhandedly commented as she walked back over to the couch and sat down with a huff.

“You need a different outfit.” With a wave of his hand, her nightgown became a blue-green dress with the back cut out, just how she liked it. “Come along. We’ll need to be quick if you want to avoid being stolen away by my mother.” She raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Why would she be stealing me away? Is something happening today?” Loki looked at her in surprise, nodding swiftly.

“Today is the beginning of preparations for the spring ball. Mother will be spending the next few days overseeing the decorating and the feast. And if we aren’t fast, she’s going to take you away to join her.” Her face scrunched up at the thought of having to oversee anything, and she stuck her tongue out slightly. “I wouldn’t make that face in front of my mother. Now, come on.” He extended his hand, and she stood up and took it. 

“Take me away, I suppose.” He smirked, rolling his eyes before proceeding to drag her away. She used her free hand to lift her skirts enough to move quickly, because with the size of the strides Loki was taking, she had to take two or three steps for his one. He paused at a forking in the hallway, looking back and forth before turning left.

“Loki!” He froze, glancing down at the girl and pressing his lips together.

“Damn.” Letting out a sigh, the pair turned around to see Frigga hurrying down the hall towards the two of them. Loki slipped his hand from hers, and she swallowed as Frigga came to a stop. “Hello, Mother.” Frigga raised her eyebrows and Loki merely tilted his head to the side, feigning innocence to his crime.

“Where were you escorting the lady to, Loki?” He smiled, taking a step closer to Frigga.

“I had offered to take her for a walk in the gardens, Mother. She doesn’t get to leave these walls often.” Frigga raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to her son.

“I’ve heard you’ve been taking her out with an increasing frequency. Are these stories just that, stories?” Loki bowed his head forwards before tilting it back and forth, an impassive expression on his face. From her place on the sidelines, she could tell that Loki and Frigga were beginning to almost playfully circle each other. It was amusing on some level, and although she wouldn’t admit it, she enjoyed seeing Loki seem so happy. It could be quite hard to get to see him smile, but Frigga did it effortlessly.

“I’ve taken her out a few times, yes. I was afraid that otherwise she would end up with intense cabin fever. After all, it is rude to not take a guest sightseeing.” Frigga smiled, clasping her hands in front of her while Loki clasped his hands behind him.

“That would be rude indeed. Thank you for taking such good care of our guest, Loki.” He half bowed, angling his body forward in a way that could best be described as mimicking a bow. “However, I’m afraid I must steal her away from you today. I have not spent nearly the amount of time I should have with our guest.” Loki pressed his lips together before letting out a soft laugh, nodding to his mother.

“Who am I to deny you?” He walked away from Frigga, stopping in front of the girl. “We’ll catch up another time, yes?” She nodded, laughing and lightly tapping his shoulder with the back of her hand.

“Of course, snake. Now go,” she chuckled as she walked towards Frigga. Loki smiled, walking backwards away from her before shaking his head and turning around. She watched him go until he was out of sight, and then she turned to face Frigga.

“He’s taken a liking to you.” she smiled, running her front teeth over her bottom lip with a soft smile.

“I suppose he has.” Frigga laughed, and with that they were off to instruct decorating.

The longer she had to be with Frigga, the more she found Loki’s smile drifting into her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, just wanted to ask: i'm working on a sequel to this, and i was wondering if you all would be interested in it? tell me if you are, please!


	23. ever since we met

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man! i've waited for this chapter for so long, it was actually one of the chapters i was looking forward to writing for a long, loooong time. if you're interested in some background music, I wrote this chapter to "nearly witches (ever since we met)" by panic! at the disco. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter, it's one I've been really looking forward to posting and seeing y'all's reaction on! leave a comment if you can, i love you all, and i'll see you next week!

She was nervous. 

Scratch that, she was a rolling disaster in a dress who was barely holding herself together. She couldn’t look away from her bathroom mirror while Eira bustled around her, making sure the skirts sat properly and that she wouldn’t look like a fool. At least the dress looked nice. With a good amount of magic, she had turned the light blue fabric a deep green and stitched golden thread onto the bodice. It was bold and eye catching, and she felt good in it. Aside from the fact that she was incredibly anxious, she was doing alright.

“Alright,” Eira said, standing up from her task and looking her in the eyes. “Why are you so anxious? I can practically feel it.” She sighed, running her hands up and down her bare arms.

“What if I fuck this up, Eira? I could terribly fuck this up, and he could hate me, and, and,” Eira took her in a crushing hug, softly shushing her and rubbing her back as she stuttered away.

“Hey, hey hey,” Eira whispered as the girl clung to her. “It’ll be perfectly fine. I swear, it will be okay. When I met Jamie, my girlfriend, she was out walking with Loki. And Norns below, I thought he was going to kill me when I started talking to her. But here I am, without a stab mark.” She laughed softly as Eira pulled away and gently held her cheeks. “You’ll be fine. And if I’m being honest? All of the serving staff know he’s got a soft spot for you.” She laughed and swatted away Eira’s hands, taking a deep breath and looking in the mirror once more.

“It’s time to go, isn’t it?” Eira nodded. “Well. Wish me good luck.” She turned towards the bathroom door and pushed it open, stepping out into her bedroom and looking over her shoulder at Eira for a brief moment before dashing away. It was now or never.

-

Loki was bored, for lack of a better word to describe the mind numbing feeling of being surrounded by airheaded title bearers. He had been trying his best to stay away from the dancing, but one particularly bold lady had approached him. He had fully intended to turn her down, but he had felt the familiar searing gaze of his mother on the back of his neck.

So he had offered her a hand and politely led her to the dancefloor with a false smile. She wouldn’t stop talking, and frankly, Loki couldn’t give a damn about what she was saying. He had promptly forgotten her name as well, so he was merely taking the opportunity to scan the room. Thor hadn’t arrived yet, and neither had the girl. So he stopped searching in every shadow and corner, and diverted his attention inwards to his thoughts.

Before he knew it, there were roaring cheers and his head was whipping around to face the huge double doors. Thor had arrived, and people were celebrating his arrival with toasts. Loki’s gaze flicked back over to the door, and found nobody entering behind him as the large wooden doors remained open. However, there was someone on Thor’s arm.

It was her. She and Thor walked over in the directions of the refreshments, and Loki swallowed around the thick lump in his throat with a sharp exhale.

“Pardon me,” he murmured as he pulled away from the lady he had been dancing with to cross the room towards the refreshments.

Norns, she was  _ stunning _ . It was unfair just how well she cleaned up. Her hair was still loose as always, but somehow the ruffled look it always had just made the rest of her outfit seem much more regal. She was wearing the deep green of his color, the bodice embroidered with golden patterns and designs that drew the eye. She was laughing, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sound. That familiar, breathy, sing-song laugh that had always been infectious when it came to him. Some part of him wanted to sweep her away from his brother and off onto the dance floor, but he couldn’t find in himself to move away from the wall and take her hand and gently kiss the back of it. He knew her skin would feel soft as the most finely woven silken cloth in the kingdom, if not lighter and smoother.

But Loki found he couldn’t take a step closer to her as she chattered away with his brother, keeping a distance from Thor except for a few times she shoved the older prince with her shoulder. He could only watch as people approached her, clearly offering her a dance with them. As he watched, the lady he had so rudely abandoned half stormed up to him, face bright red.

“What does she have that I don’t?” Loki looked down at the lady he had left on the ballroom floor, raising one eyebrow before turning his head away.

“More than half a brain in her skull.” The lady made an indignant noise before hurrying away her face bright red at the insult. Shrugging, Loki kept his gaze fixed on the girl, watching as a princess approached her and she politely turned down the royal girl. He swallowed, slipping along the wall to come to closer to her and his brother.

She and Thor drifted about in a small area around the refreshments, garnering an increasing number of looks as Thor failed to take her onto the dance floor. More people approached her, and she turned down all of them with an apologetic smile. She was also becoming shakier as the night went on, likely a factor of the mead Thor had been giving her. Thor patted her shoulder and said something Loki couldn’t understand before moving away. She casually leaned against the refreshments table, and Loki swallowed once more. He began to slowly make his way towards her, heart uncomfortably pressing against his windpipe.

Before he could make it to her, Thor reappeared from the crowd leading a red-haired prince behind him. Loki knew the strange prince by reputation; he was going to ascend to the throne soon and was still unwed despite an endless number of women throwing themselves at his feet. The rumor was that he swung the other direction, and Loki was inclined to at least partially believe it. 

He didn’t have the energy to even consider the rumor when the red-headed prince pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, and she nodded her head before following him onto the ballroom floor where others carefully danced.

This wasn’t fair. This sudden sharp pain couldn’t be fair, the sensation of the floor seeming to want to give out underneath him couldn’t be fair in any plane of reality. For some damned reason, watching her follow the other prince hurt worse than any wound that could be inflicted upon him physically, and he was shaking. His ears could only pick up the sound of his heart pounding, and his throat seemed to be pulsing and keeping him from breathing properly. Something in his self control cracked, and he stormed forwards. Loki barely registered weaving through the crowd, bumping against a few dancing couples in his hurry to reach her. Before he really knew what he was doing, he stood by the her and the prince and cocked his head to the side.

“Pardon my intrusion, but I really must step in.” Before the other prince could say a word, Loki had taken her hands and spun away with her, leaving the red-headed prince in the dust. “Why did you choose to dance with  _ him _ ?” She just smiled, slowly and softly before quietly laughing. Norns, why was she digging underneath his skin here, now, and how was she digging so deep?

“You’re acting as if I plan to marry him tomorrow!” Loki’s mouth opened before snapping shut, a small frown pulling his lips downwards as his nose scrunched up. She lightly flicked his shoulder as he slowly spun her about the dance floor, her feet easily following behind his.

“I don’t enjoy the thought of my… friend off gallivanting in the gardens with someone like him.” She snorted with amusement, flicking her hair out of her face with a small jerk of her head.

“I had no intentions of laying with him. Has anyone ever told you you’re awfully possessive over  _ friends _ ?” His heart stuttered as something in his stomach froze and created an awful weight as she drawled her last word. He wanted to do something, to be loud, but in his characteristic manner, he raised one eyebrow and smirked, although it was quite halfheartedly playful. 

“Perhaps I consider you to be a friend worth keeping.” He brought their dance to a stop as the music slowed, coming to an end as she slowly pulled away from Loki. He kept holding her hand tight, and when she raised her eyebrows, he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand as he felt the buzz of magic under her skin.

He was right about how soft it would be. She smiled, carefully pulling away and curtsying. 

“I’m afraid I have an urgent matter to tend to,” she commented, cocking her head to the side with a soft smile. “Pardon me.” She turned away from Loki, heading towards the refreshments. He exited the area populated by couples, watching as she snatched a goblet of mead and headed off for the interior part of the palace.

“Damn,” he muttered underneath his breath as he began to follow her. He had to stop himself from trying to run in his ceremonial armor to the doors, settling for an extremely brisk walk as he breezed past the guards. He managed to catch sight of her deep green dress heading down a side hallway, and he followed. Eventually, he had to slow his pace, not because of his exhaustion, but because of how slowly she was moving. Loki could see her clearly now, obviously doing her best to not stagger in a serpentine manner underneath the torchlight. She was giggling to herself, taking sips of her mead.

Eventually, she went into the gardens through the large double doors that led to the tea patio. Loki softly followed behind her, staying in the shadows as she stumbled out into the moonlight. He carefully sat down on one of the many empty chairs, watching as she sits down on the dew covered grass and carefully cradles the bloom of one of the many flower bushes around her. She discarded the cup of mead in the grass, the last bits of the alcohol dripping out onto the grass as she stroked the petals of the flower.

Loki just watched as she sat there, softly cooing to the plant. She wasn’t able to for long; soon, her head was dipping to her chest and she would nod off for a moment before jerking awake. Sighing, he stood up and carefully stepped out into the moonlight, softly walking across the grass before kneeling next to her. She turned her head to look at him, her face lighting up as she drunkenly laughed before throwing herself into Loki’s arms without a second thought. Loki froze for a moment, but he slowly wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up into a standing position. She softly hummed, pressing her head against his chest and holding him tightly.

“You’re warm,” she murmured, taking a deep breath as she swayed.

“And you are drunk.” She laughed, her entire body shaking with the force of it. Loki merely stood there, keeping her upright as she snorted with laughter. As her laughter slowed, he carefully ran a hand over the top of her hair, feeling her relax into his chest even further. Her breathing began to slow into sleep, and he sighed with a roll of his eyes, lifting her up so her back was supported on his arm while the other was neatly fitted into the bend of her knees. She jolted awake at the motion, eyes shooting open with surprise. “Calm down,” he gently murmured. “Put your arms around my neck if you need stability.” She quickly followed his directions, nestling against him close enough that he could feel the beating of her heart. 

She nodded, and Loki began carefully carrying her inside, focusing on the steady frequency of her magic.

As he carried her, he couldn’t help but become overly aware of just how petite she was. She fit in his arms perfectly, her head using his bicep as a pillow and her bare and dirt covered feet barely brushing against his ribs. She was tiny, he had known that, but he had never really considered it beyond the fact that she seemed about a foot shorter than him. 

At first, he had found her height something to poke fun at her about, but now he found himself strangely enamored with it. He was enamored with the spatters of freckles all over her body, with her quick tongue and her laugh and-

Damn. He’d gone and fallen head over heels for her.

Swallowing down this newfound discovery, he just bittersweetly smiled at the way her eyelids were drifting shut and her lips parted ever so slightly. He kept walking, not pausing until he was in front of the familiar carved wood of her door. With a twist of his wrist it swung open, and he entered her room, bringing her over to the bed he knew Eira must have neatly made before leaving for the servant’s quarters and setting her down on top of the sheets. With a sigh, he brushed her hair out of her face and turned to leave.

A hand took his, giving him a sharp tug and pulling him back towards the bed.

“Stay,” she pleaded, not opening her eyes. “Please stay.” He sighed, standing still next to her bed as her hand drunkenly played with his. 

With a wave of his hand, his ceremonial armor appeared on the table, neatly folded, leaving him in an undershirt and pants as he nudged her to the side and climbed into her bed with a tired sigh. He turned his back to her and she curled around him, her face nestled against the crook of his neck as one of her hands slid into his hair without a second thought. 

_ I’ll only stay for a moment, _ Loki silently promised.  _ Only until she’s asleep. _

He stayed until she was asleep, and then long enough to drift off with her heartbeat against his back.


	24. anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!!! i'm actually managing to update on a wednesday today, ain't that a miracle lmao. we're getting close to the end guys!! i'm so excited that i've gotten to share this all with you all, and i'm hoping to be able to finish the second part of this before this time next year! writing takes me a while, but i'm hoping y'all will stick with me through it! I wrote this chapter to "drumming song" by florence and the machine if you're wondering. enjoy today's chapter, please leave a comment if you can, and i'll see you next week!

When she woke up, she couldn’t help but first think that she was home.

Something was so inherently soothing about being curled around another person, listening to the other’s breath as they inhaled and exhaled. She didn’t open her eyes as she pressed her face against the neck of the person in her bed, inhaling deeply. She would know that crisp, clean, cool scent anywhere.

Shit, she knew who she was holding tightly and she hadn’t intended for this to happen.

A sudden drop in her stomach jolted her fully awake and she rolled away from the now identified Loki with a spike of anxiety. Her eyes were wide open as she sat there on her bed, watching his side slowly rise and fall. She couldn’t quite remember how he had gotten there, but that didn’t worry nearly as much as how  _ right _ it had felt to be curled around his back. It was too familiar, and that familiarity made her chest ache and her breathing speed up.

The last time she had woken up curled around someone, her life had quickly fallen into disarray and she had almost died. She had lost everything the last time she had loved. 

She couldn’t help but wonder if she would lose Loki.

The thought of that ate away at her chest, feeding the gnawing ache that had plagued her for longer than she could count with how her time here had all blurred into one large mass marked only with Loki. She pulled her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and placing her chin in the divot between her knees.

She couldn’t lose Loki like she had lost Eleanor. But what did that mean for them? Did that mean pushing him away now, holding him at arm's length so he couldn’t hear the frantic beating of her heart as it yearned for his touch and sympathy and laugh? Or was she to repeat the same mistake as she had before, to let him learn every curve of her body and count each freckle on her shoulders and face and thighs, to let him know the imperfections under her smile until she suddenly broke the cord of their relationship before trying to go back to normal? She didn’t know, and not knowing hurt. She closed her eyes and tilted her head down so that her knees pressed against her eye sockets, taking a few deep breaths and she did her best to not panic.

It was silent in the room as she sat there struggling to keep her breaths even. She could feel the sun creeping through the curtains and landing on her exposed back, and she could hear Loki softly breathing. Other than that, it was just her and the sudden, crushing worries that had snuck up on her while she was happy. That was how it had always been, but for some reason she had thought that maybe it would change. That maybe Loki would hold away the worry somehow. It had been a stupid thought to have, but she had thought it anyways and now she had dug herself into a hole that she had fallen head over heels into. She was flying blind again with the sun in her eyes, and while part of her wanted to regret it she couldn’t.

It was always hard to regret falling in love.

It was hard to regret something that felt right and in theory didn’t hurt anyone, but in practice burned when kept to oneself. She felt like if she exhaled too hard, a curling flame might come out of her mouth and scorch the bedsheets with her pain.

As she was wrapped up in her head, the pace of her breathing increasing, a gentle set of arms wrapped around her. She could feel Loki’s slow breath against her scalp, one of his hands gently stroking her back. He didn’t say a word, but she could feel him softly humming, holding one note for as long as he could before switching to a new one. It was soothing, and by counting the beats in each hum, she was able to calm down. Once she trusted herself to move again, she uncurled herself and slipped out of Loki’s embrace, crawling over to the edge of her bed away from the door. Her legs dangled over the edge as she pressed her forehead to her knees, fingers digging into the bed covers.

“I can’t do this, I can’t do this,” she softly gasped, screwing her eyes shut and taking deep breaths. “Oh Watcher I can’t do this.” She took a deep breath, raising her head and clasping her hands in front of her. “I think you need to leave,” she murmured, feeling Loki’s gaze on the back of her neck.

He didn’t respond. All he did was shift closer to her, mirroring her pose and looking at her with a furrowed brow. Slowly, his hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she couldn’t help but lean into his uncharacteristically gentle touch. Letting out a breath that was much heavier than mere air should be, she turned her face away from his and bit her lower lip. 

“I think you need to leave.” 

He pulled back and she swore she could almost hear something break. She didn’t know who the break belonged to, perhaps the break belonged to both of them somehow, so she merely swallowed. She could hear him moving about and pulling open the door, pausing for a moment before softly shutting it behind him. It was all she could do to slide onto the floor and silently cry as she sat there in the small patch of sunlight that had landed on the floor, warming it the best it could as she felt her face grow hot from her tears.

She knew she had royally fucked up. However, she was here now without a clear way out of the square of light she had boxed herself into when her heart took the leap. So she simply sat there, knees against her chest and hands over her face so she could see between her fingers. Time passed at a rate she couldn’t quantify with the mess her head was, the loud and tangled mess of her failure strewn all across her mind. At some point, there were three soft knocks at her door before it swung open with a creak.

“Miss?” The door was softly shut, and the sound of shoes on the floor came closer until Eira was looking down at the girl. She immediately lowered herself to her knees and moved closer to her crying charge, brows furrowed in worry. “Oh dear,” she murmured, shaking her head as she began gently rubbing circles into the girl’s back. “It’s going to be alright.”

Eira kept up the murmuring for a while, smoothing the other’s hair and rubbing her back. Eventually, she stopped crying and tipped her head back with a sigh.=

“I don’t suppose you’d get my leathers?” Eira immediately took to the task, standing up and beginning to search for them. 

“What happened?” Eira glanced over her shoulder as she asked the question, not truly expecting a real answer from the girl.

“Nothing. Nothing at all happened, Eira,” she bit out, running her hands through her hair with a sigh. Eira muffled a gasp with her hand, turning around to face the girl with her leathers in hand.

“You’re lying,” Eira said sympathetically, and she bristled at the maid’s tone. Damn Eira and her unpredictable psychic ability.

“Drop it. Now. It doesn’t matter.” Eira made an indignant noise in reply, walking over to her charge and helping her out of the dress.

“If he hurt you this much it definitely matters.” She growled under her breath as she slid off her dress, taking the leathers from Eira and beginning to climb into them.

“Drop it, Eira.” Eira swallowed before slowly nodding.

“Yes miss.” She flexed her hands in her leathers, kneeling and looking underneath her bed before pulling out her satchel and digging around. After a moment she pulled out her dagger in its sheath and slipped the pair around her waist before tightening it. 

“I’m going out. When’s the last time you saw your girlfriend?” Eira seemed taken aback by the question, and counted the number on her fingers.

“Roughly two weeks, I believe.” She put her hand on Eira’s shoulder briefly as she walked to the door. 

“Take a week off for me. I’m sure that Prince Loki will let you, anyways. He cares for you and your girlfriend.” Eira looked at her in surprise, but before the maid could protest the girl was gone.

She ran down the hallway, her bare feet hitting the stone as she ran through light and shadow without a second thought, focused only on her goal of finding Thor and letting off steam. She was scared, but it was far easier to hide behind her masquerade mask of anger that seemed to roll off her body in waves as she walked. The path to the training arena was well known to her now, and she barely had to give a second thought to her movements as she breezed past guards and noblewomen. She heard some of the women murmuring, but she paid them no mind.

The training arena was nearly empty, which was quite understandable. She was certain many of the men were sleeping off hangovers, and plenty others were probably engaged with a partner beside them. There was a spattering of women warriors sparring, a scattered clump of still half-drunk men, and she spotted Thor sparring with Lady Sif. He was laughing as he fought, his movements large but not by any means slow. Taking a deep breath, she kept close to the edge as she moved towards Thor, doing her best to not draw attention to herself. She watched as Sif and Thor sparred, chattering between blows but still fighting ruthlessly. Waiting until Sif had knocked over Thor, she approached the two carefully, anxiously running her hand over the handle of her dagger.

“I’m afraid I need Thor, if that’s not too much to ask.” Thor and Sif looked at each other, and Sif calmly sheathed her sword. She knew her voice was shaking, but thankfully neither of the warriors commented on it. Sif dipped her head to Thor as he stood up before she turned around and swiftly left him and the girl behind.

“How can I help you?” She opened her mouth to speak, and quickly found that she couldn’t speak. Her mouth snapping shut, she placed her hands on her cheeks and let out a breath, doing her best to ignore the stinging sensation in her eyes. “Follow me.” He held out a hand and she took it, letting him half drag her through the hallways of the palace. Thor brought her outside, and she watched the scenery pass her as he pulled her into the garden. When he finally stopped, they were standing in front of a stone bench. “Sit down,” he said, and she obeyed without a word. He sat down next to her as she ran her hands across the leaves of the climbing jasmine surrounding the bench. “Tell me what’s wrong when you can talk.”

“How did you know that I liked the gardens?” Thor chuckled at her rasped answer, shaking his head before letting it drop back so he looked to the sky.

“Loki told me.” she swallowed, plucking a leaf from the flowers and rubbing it between her fingers.

“Oh,” she murmured, not meeting Thor’s gaze as he dropped his head to look at her.

“Have you and my brother had a falling-out? I haven’t seen him this morning.” She swallowed as she began to rip the leaf into tiny pieces, letting the pale green float to the ground.

“I did something stupid because I was panicking,” she murmured, taking a deep breath. “Because I was drunk last night and I convinced him to keep me company – not like that – and when I woke up I was clinging to him and it just felt so  _ right _ that I started to panic because the last time something felt that right I went and ruined it all by getting into a relationship and then breaking it off and I ended up here and it was all so horrible that I-” Thor cut her off with a bone-crushing hug, making her let out a reflexive gasp. 

“You didn’t want to lose my brother in the same way.” She nodded, and it was only then that she realized that she had slow tears rolling down her cheeks like rain on a windowpane.

“I couldn’t lose your brother in the same way,” she whispered, and Thor pulled away from her and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. 

“You won’t lose him. He cares for you too much, and it’s genuine and true. He thinks I don’t know how deep it runs, but I know my brother’s tells.” Thor was silent for a moment. “There is a waterfall off of the edge of Asgard. Nobody knows how far the water falls into space, and anyone who tries to find out suffers a slow and painful death in space. My brother’s love is similar. You can never know just how far it goes, and people who try hurting the receivers of his affection tend to end up horribly wounded.” She was silent after hearing this, simply listening to a soft wind ruffling the leaves around the two of them. “I must go, but I suggest that you stay. Calm your mind, think over what you want and what you feel. I might not be as smart as my brother, but I know a thing or two about uneasy thoughts.” Thor stood, pulling away from her and beginning to walk away. “I wish you luck, my lady. I know what you must do, but you must figure it out yourself.” 

With that he was gone and she was alone among the fullness of spring. Plucking a flower, she twirled the stem in her fingers with a heavy sigh.

“I know what I have to do,” she commented to herself as she tilted her head back to feel the sun on her face. “And I want to do it. But perhaps it will be better to remain silent,” she softly mused as her eyes shut. “I pray my wings do not turn to wax and melt.”

Her heart did not respond.


	25. breaking points

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. don’t have a lot to say this week, sorry about the late update, things are rough right now. please leave a comment if you want to, enjoy the chapter, and I’ll see you next week as we get closer to the end.

Loki hadn’t expected this to burn so fiercely.

 

Her body ached all over as she stayed sitting in bed, knees pulled into her chest as she stared at the walls. Her chest burned, her gut ached, and some part of her brain was convinced that if she stepped out of bed the floor would crumble under her and swallow her and her pain whole. Loki wasn’t sure if she was against being eaten alive by the palace; at the moment, dying through being swallowed by an inanimate object seemed like an attractive option.

 

Answering the pounding at her door, however, was not something that Loki found to be a particularly attractive idea.

 

“Loki, please let me in,” Thor pleaded through the door as his sister covered her head with a pillow and loudly groaned, her legs straightening out in front of her.

 

“If you’re  _ so _ determined to get in here,” she hissed. “You could try turning the handle.” There was a moment before the handle turned and Thor stepped into the room.

 

“You’re shirtless.” Loki raised her head to look Thor in the eyes, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

 

“I had no idea you were the god of stating the obvious,” she snarled before putting the pillow that was around her ears onto her thighs and letting her head drop onto it. “Are you just here to torment me? Because I’m quite capable of tormenting myself,” she muttered into the pillow.

 

“I’m here to try and fix what happened.” Loki scoffed, wrapping her arms around the pillow on her thighs as she sat up, effectively covering her chest.

 

“And what would you know about what happened?” she sighed, making eye contact with Thor. 

 

“I spoke to the other heartbroken individual in this palace for her side of the story.” Loki scowled, keeping her gaze locked with Thor’s. 

 

“She only has herself to blame,” she bit out, a bitter note to her voice.

 

“Did she tell you about her failed relationship she had before she came here?” Loki’s stomach froze solid, and she silently swallowed. She remembered learning about Eleanor. Loki remembered most of the words that came out of her friend’s mouth. “She was traumatized, sister. It makes sense she would be more than slightly anxious to jump into something new.”

 

The pair sat in incredibly still silence. Loki knew she couldn’t speak without her voice cracking, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to speak directly after pulling her head out of her ass for once in her life.

 

“Sister, she turned you away because she was scared of getting closer and having you wrenched away in a manner even more painful.” With that, something in Loki broke.

 

“Get out of my room,” she shrieked, pointing towards the door. Thor found magic pushing him towards the door, and Loki’s hair was rising slightly from the suddenly magical burst. “Get _ out! _ ” The door swung open and Thor quickly had it slammed in his face.

 

Loki threw the pillow to the side, and with a flick of her hand her door was locked.

 

She had fucked up, was what she thought to herself as she toppled furniture, throwing the cushions off of the couch and against the door. Loki hadn’t taken into consideration how easily her friend was burned, how much the last time this had happened had hurt her. As she smashed a table against the wall and watched it break, she could hardly think over the endless blaring message in her brain broadcasting her mistake. Grabbing the chair that matched the table, Loki slammed it against the ground with a prolonged scream, watching it splinter and break all across the stone. She had already broken her friendship, why not break a few more things? Tables, chairs, pillows,  _ necks _ –

 

Loki’s grip on the leftovers of the chair loosened, and they clattered to the floor with her. She was crying.

 

She did not want to be crying under any circumstance.

  
  
  


Damn it, this was  _ weak _ , she shouldn’t be crying.

 

She shouldn’t be feeling this. She was being weak, her emotions weren’t supposed to overpower her like this,  _ she wasn’t supposed to be the one hurting that wasn’t how this usually went _ –

 

No matter how she willed herself to stop feeling, it didn’t change the fact that a new love had embedded itself deep into her heart and it didn’t want to come out. She wanted to hate the love that was curling around her heart like a cat in a sunbeam, but she couldn’t hate it. Loki couldn’t find it in herself to hate the woman she loved. Slamming her palm against the stone, she softly hissed when a stabbing pain appeared in her palm. Absentmindedly pulling out the splinter, Loki let out a sob and bit her lip at the realization of just how deep in she was. She climbed onto the cushionless couch, avoiding receiving splinters in her feet, and she curled up in a tight ball. 

 

This was far too much. She hadn’t known that she could love this deeply, that she could want so much for so little. Loki had known what was happening, even if she had thought she had no idea, but she had loathed the idea of putting that four letter word to it, that word she treated like a swear more than anything else. But there wasn’t another word for it, was there? It could be easier if there was another word, a word other than that damned  _ love _ to describe what lay between them. They were friends, yes, but did friends trust each other that deeply, flirt so freely, hold each other’s hands and pretend that the other wasn’t their lifeline?

 

What were they doing, other than pretending? Pretending that they didn’t catch sideways glances. Pretending that they didn’t shiver at touches that lingered just a little too long but never long enough. Pretending that they could untangle the messy balls of thread that were their hearts without the tender touch of the other pulling out the knots that confused them so. Worst of all, they were both pretending that they could keep up this messy waltz that was a little off of the beat with too much room between them, so far apart that where hands should have been resting only fingertips sat.

 

But with the way things were right now, Loki couldn’t confront that. She couldn’t fix their sloppy waltz, their avoidance, their endless loop of pretending that they could stay in a little fantasy together.

 

All Loki could do was lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling as she silently cried over something that might have ended before it began.

 

-

 

Eleanor was a disaster.

 

She didn’t know how long it had been. A week? A month? A few damned days? She didn’t know. Everything had blurred together into a cacophony of tears, alcohol, and people pushing food into her room without saying a word. It was all just faded honeysuckle and the sterile scent of each bottle she cracked open, and that was all she cared about. Well, that wasn’t true. Eleanor also cared about the stacks of papers, about the balled up sheets that still smelled of honeysuckle, the mess of clothing that still held her friend’s smell.

 

_ Dead _ friend, she silently reminded herself as she ran a hand across the top of her buzzcut and tightly curled hair. What could her friend be, other than dead? It had been months, or at least the sensation of months had passed. Months since break had ended, months since she had first gone to Ms. Graves, had she been trapped in that office for months? It had felt like it at the very least. And now here Eleanor was, waiting for the older woman to process a singular sheet of paper that would be the sentence of her friend in a court nobody had been given the chance to step into.

 

All of these facts just compounded onto each other and fermented until Eleanor could drink them and feel her head become full of static. And at the end of the day, Eleanor preferred having a head so full of white noise she could barely move to a head full of thoughts that made her manic and destructive. When she had first returned from that drab building Ms. Graves worked in, she had tried to break a lamp. Eleanor had lifted it easily, and her arm had rolled back to throw, but she couldn’t find it in her to actually finish what she had started.

 

Because that lamp wasn’t hers, and it felt like some unsaid sacred thing that she couldn’t desecrate the belongings of the dead like that. 

 

So she had carefully set the lamp back down, and she had sworn to never try to do that ever again.

 

Now there she was. A sprawled mess among her sheets, her heart hurting more than her head as she covered her face with a pillow. Ms. Graves had said she would come back, come tell Eleanor about what the paper said. She should have been cleaning up the empty plates that had held food that other people in the dorm had put down in her room. Eleanor should have been attending classes. She knew she could scrounge up notes, but it was going to be a pain. If  _ she _ was still here Eleanor knew she would be getting notes and smiling and taking away Eleanor’s money to make sure she didn’t drink too much too often and if only Eleanor could just fix everything and kiss her  _ one last time _ because their goodbye had been far too brief–

 

_ “Stay safe.” _

 

_ “Now, I have to go.” _

 

Eleanor didn’t realize that she had thrown a bottle until she heard the glass shatter against the wall and fall to the floor with that noise of glass clinking against itself.

 

Maybe she needed to drop out for the rest of the year. She could go home and grieve there instead of in this dormitory with too-thin walls and the pressing threat of classes with examinations and failing everything. She was going to flunk out this year at this rate anyways, with her absences racking up one after another. However, to unenroll she would have to actually stand up and glide to the office.

 

Eleanor didn’t even know if her wings could hold her with the rate she was going at. As she stayed bundled up in her thoughts, there was a soft rapping at the door before it swung open and a small face peeked through.

 

“I heard glass break,” the girl at the door whispered. “Do you want help cleaning it up?” Eleanor sat upright, her wings beginning to spread as she stared down the girl in the door.

 

“Leave me alone, kid,” Eleanor rasped, ignoring how out of practice her throat was at actually forming words. The majority of her noises lately had been simple screams that were loud and painful and full of things words couldn’t hold. “I just want my fucking girlfriend back,” she sighed as she shakily stood up and hobbled over to the door. “But she’s dead.” 

 

With that, Eleanor gently moved the other girl’s face far out of the way before slamming the door so hard it rattled in the frame. Her wings gently fluttered, the muscles twitching slightly so they opened and closed in fractions.

 

“But she’s dead,” Eleanor muttered as she fell back into bed, covering her eyes with one hand while the other groped around for the pale bottle of booze sitting on the table next to her bed. Eleanor pulled out the cork and threw it to the side, lazily holding the bottle but not yet taking a drink.

 

It wasn’t until those all too familiar freckles and that smile and those beautiful eyes that had liked to tease her before moving in for a kiss and that damn  _ laugh _ , no, it wasn’t until those damned things swam into her head that Eleanor finally put the bottle to her mouth and drank two large mouthfuls from the bottle to swallow down the intoxicants of the features of the girl she loved fiercely and deeply and couldn’t stop wanting. As Eleanor wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she let out a long sigh and let her eyes drift shut as she placed the bottle back on the table. Her eyes welled with tears, and she held her pillow close as she whispered three final words before she was overcome with the weight of the statement.

 

“But she’s dead.”


	26. a conversation that leads to something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's here!!!! leave a comment if you can, enjoy these two nerds, and i'll see you next week as we get closer and closer to the end!! i love you all!

It had been around a day since she had fucked up terribly enough that Loki hadn’t been seen around the palace.

A solid day where half of her time was spent in the gardens calming herself, and the other half was spent curled up in bed drifting in and out of a restless state of sleep. Now here she was, walking around her room nervously, wondering how in the hell she could fix this.

Loki loved her.

Or, well, Thor had heavily implied that Loki felt something far beyond friendship that had become romantic feelings, love or not. She felt something that she dared to call similar, and while the word  _ love _ most likely was the most accurate description for what she was feeling, she hesitated to call it that. Calling it that felt big and grandiose, and while she adored grandiose things, this felt like it needed to be small. It wasn’t a swarm of blue jays loudly singing among their trees about the beauty in the world, it was a singular dove held close to her chest with her fingers around its wings so it could not leave.

Perhaps Loki would let her pass him the dove.

The thought of that was so nerve wracking, yet so exciting to even consider. The idea that she could show him something she was holding close, and he could share the feeling? That seemed so impossible. Yet she couldn’t help but believe that maybe, just maybe it would happen. 

It seemed the only way out of this situation would to be to pray that Thor was right. That Loki did indeed care for her in this strange way that she cared for him, that they could have… something. It didn’t need any other name other than something. A shared something, something that they had both been yearning for but had failed to step into properly.

Fuck it. She didn’t want to do this, but oh Watcher she wanted to do this more than anything. She wanted to go and find Loki, but something held her in place, gripping her stomach and making her want to throw up on the floor. So she stood in her room, shaking slightly and staring at the floor where it met the wall. She needed to go somewhere.

So, without looking up, she exited her room and began to go the stables. She didn’t look up as she walked, her back hunched slightly as she stayed close to the shadows near the wall. She didn’t want to be noticed, not with the way her head was panicking and her heart was begging. She simply wanted to hurry to the stables as quickly as possible and hop on a horse long enough to soothe her screaming insides.

So that was what she did. Once she was in the open air, she bolted for the stables and reveled in the feeling of the hay beneath her feet. Calmly, she searched for the creamy horse she had ridden the past two times, letting her wings unfurl through the back of her beaten and battered tank top that was held on her body with mostly magic and will. She carefully searched through the stalls, eyes glancing over mares and stallions until she finally stood in front of the horse that had been serving her so well.

“ _ Hey there, _ ” she softly chirped, letting herself slip into a far more comfortable tongue. She had been speaking Alltongue for what felt like ages, and it was nice to shift her speaking away from her vocal folds. Unlatching the gate, she clambered up into the stall, clinging to the half-gate before wrapping her arms around the neck of the horse and swinging herself up onto its back. “ _ Take me away. _ ” She pressed her calloused heels into the side of the horse, wrapping a strand of its mane around her hand to guide it with. 

The mare calmly walked out of its stall, and she guided it over to the exit that led to the hills of Asgard. When the two of them entered the open air, she pressed her heels into the side of the horse and leaned forward against its long neck, a smile on her face. 

“ _ Go. _ ” The mare took off running, and she let out a whoop of joy as the wind blew her hair away from her face. She was still plagued by the yelling in her head and the aching of her heart telling her to turn back, to find Loki, to fix everything, but she ignored it for the moment. Right now, all she needed was the feeling of the horse underneath her and the wind in her hair as it brushed past her feathers.

The horse slowed as it reached the bottom of the hills, and she gently rubbed its neck with a soft hum. She didn’t need to go much further now. Merely to the base of a short hill, and no further. So she guided it to the base of the first small hill she saw before dismounting. She opened her wings, wincing at the cracking and popping as she shifted them about. Rocking back and forth, she leaped into the air and forced her wings to beat as hard as they could. With a small triumphant grin on her face, she flew up the hillside to the top before landing and taking a seat in the grass.

She let out a heavy sigh as she flopped onto her back, wings spreading beneath her as she stared up at the blue skies of Asgard. Here, her brain was calming down slightly, although it was still muttering in an annoyed sort of fashion while her heart yearned to go back to the palace and apologize. If she didn’t think too long, everything could be okay. Maybe she was back at home, lounging in the sun and listening to the hum of the beetles in the grass.

For around an hour, that held true. She lay in the grass, tiredly twirling one of the green blades between her fingers as her eyes rested in a half closed position. Then, she heard the sound of another horse.

Before she knew it, Loki was clambering up the hill with their hair neatly braided on top of their head and sitting on the grass next to her. There was an almost silent moment where the only sound was Loki’s breath.

“Please talk to me.” She swallowed at Loki’s simple plea, her hands coming to rest on her chest as she sucked in a deep breath. “I’d like to keep your companionship.” She sat upright, crossing her legs and letting her wings slightly drift shut.

“Did Thor and Eira make you do this?” They shook their head, and she didn’t meet their gaze. “You came out here of your own accord?” A nod. “Why?” Her voice cracked slightly on her last question, her head surging forward once more with screams of every single way she could be hated. Loki was silent for a moment, taking a deep breath as the two of them sat in the sun together. 

“Because I care about you.” They paused, biting their lip. “Deeply. And it’s been helpfully pointed out to me that I’ve been quite the idiot.” She’s quiet for a moment, plucking a strand of grass from the ground and twisting it around her fingers.

“I have this… thing. Anxiety. Or something like it. It sucks,” she started, awkwardly smiling. “And a lot of the time it’s fine. But sometimes it just comes crashing down on top of me. Like, horses. We do horseback riding a lot. So like, imagine you’re walking towards the horse, and you’re looking forward to riding, but as you get closer and closer you start to worry about what could go wrong, if the horse could bite you, until suddenly you’ve thought of three different ways you can die and you kind of don’t want to ride anymore.” She was silent for a moment, dragging her hands across her face with a sigh. “Or you find you like someone and suddenly you worry about the way you look or if the person is going to die and-” she cut herself off, biting down on her lower lip with a huff.  _ And you find that you care about them more deeply than you probably should _ , she thought to herself with a slow inhale. “Yeah.”

A heavy silence hung between the two of them for a moment, slowly swinging like a pendulum would, careful but steady and slowly coming a stop. 

“How can I help you deal with it?” She blinked in surprise, her eyes meeting Loki’s as they spoke. “Despite how I may act, you are one of the few people who I’d rather not make suffer. Unless you categorize kisses as suffering.” She hesitated for a moment, lightly running her nail across the pad of her thumb.

“You want to – as an actual thing? Not this – the thing we’ve been doing where I get as close as I can before always end up chickening out because I’m afraid to lose you?” Loki nodded, and the two of them laid down in the grass and stared up at the sun. 

“That is what I happen to be suggesting, yes.” She swallowed, closing her eyes for a moment as she placed the heels of her hands against her eye sockets. “Is it alright that I’m suggesting that?”

“I- yeah. Yeah. I like that idea. I want to kiss you. If that’s okay,” she said, not making eye contact as Loki turned their head to the side to look at her and smiled. 

“Better than okay. May I?” She sat upright once more, her face heating up as she looked at Loki. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you can – go ahead it’s – yeah-” she stumbled over her words as Loki sat upright and moved closer to her, one of their hands sliding across her cheek before they gently brushed their thumb across the freckles smattered across her cheek. She let out a slow breath, feeling the blush under her skin. “You can kiss me.”

That was all the confirmation that Loki needed to close the gap and tenderly press his lips to hers. His free hand came to rest on her hip, and he could smell her magic drifting into the air as she kissed him back, her wings softly fluttering behind her. For a girl who lived like a wildfire, her kisses were closer to a forest stream. Slow, steady, but certain and never stopping once they had purpose. And although it felt cliche, and Loki was almost ashamed at the thought, their mouths against each other felt in some strange way like it was right. A union of magic to magic and heart to heart, although they both knew that they were far from whispering the words their hearts screamed to the sky,  _ I love you, I love you, I love you _ . By the time Loki broke the kiss, she had moved to sit slightly on his thighs so she could be as close as she could. 

“You shifted,” she murmured, her head still spinning like a top as the adrenaline from the kiss flowed through her system. Her wings gave the occasional twitch, causing the sheen of her feathers to catch the light as Loki spoke.

“I assumed you would prefer to kiss me first in the shape you know best,” he murmured as he swiftly pressed a kiss to her forehead. Now that the wall preventing him from touching her the way he wanted to had been dropped, he wanted to run his lips and hands across every inch of her skin just to know what it felt like. Her face heated at the peck to her forehead, and she swallowed in embarrassment before shoving that feeling aside briefly. 

“I want to kiss all of your forms. They’re all you, and it’s you I like.” Loki didn’t say a word. Instead, they opted to shift themselves ever so slightly and give her another kiss.

“So, darling, you do truly desire to court me?” She nodded, and Loki smiled softly as their heart did a dance in their chest.

“I’d rather keep it lowkey for now, though. I don’t want everyone between us. Less courting then and closer to experimenting?” They were silent for a moment, listening to her before tilting their head to the side. 

“Is that what you need right now to be happy?” She nodded, and Loki smiled as they slid their hand off of her hip but not without the ghost of a squeeze. “Then that is what will happen.” The two of them stayed sitting on the top of the hill, and her head came slowly down to rest on Loki’s shoulder. Just the contact was soothing to the both of them, comforting them and assuring them that things would work out and someday their hearts would scream the words they longed to let free. 

“We should head back,” she murmured as she turned her head to the side and pressed her face against Loki’s neck with a soft sigh, slowly blinking. “Are we going to act normal?” Loki hummed, one of his arms coming to drape across her shoulders as he pressed his lips lightly against her hair. 

“I believe we must. I am uncertain how you would be received as my partner,” he murmured as he shifted so he could see her face. “However, I would like to ask one thing.” She tilted her head to the side, her brows furrowing as if to encourage that he continue speaking. “I don’t suppose you would leave your wings out more often?” She shifted slightly, sliding off of his leg and onto the ground with a shrug.

“I guess. I just don’t often because it makes me stick out.” Loki chuckled, standing up and offering her a hand.

“They make you stick out because they’re gorgeous, darling. Now, I’m afraid we should go.” She took his hand, and he easily lifted her upright from her seated position before guiding her down the hill and helping her onto her horse. As the two of them slowly rode back to the palace, a far more easy-flowing dialogue passing between them, she couldn’t help but think that things felt strangely alright. It was almost as if she was beginning to finish a half-completed painting and figure out how all of the different elements came together to form a harmony. 

She couldn’t help but smile at Loki as he talked, feeling a little bit safer within the thoughts that reminded her that he wanted to help, that he cared, that he was helping to finish the painting. 

As she rode underneath the beating sun, serene in her newfound partnership, the pieces of someone else’s puzzle began to fall perfectly into place.


	27. what's really been happening all along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! it's me the traditional day late, coming to you with a chapter that was so much fun to write, and from here it's almost the end! I've been waiting months to put these last few chapters out, and now that they're here I'm incredible excited. anyways, here's the next chapter, leave a comment if you can, and enjoy! i love all of you and hope you're doing well!

Asgard. 

Perhaps this hassle had been worth her time. 

Valencia stared down at the crisp white paper in her hands, her heels clicking down the tile hallway as her white wings impatiently shifted on her back. Communication to Asgard had been cut off for thousands of years, and she knew that well. She knew the story.

It was hard to not know when she was the last remaining of the bloodline that caused it to be sealed.

That trial hadn’t been just. It had been skewed in favor of power, and that knife had been stolen days before. But that didn’t matter now. That axe had dropped back when she was much smaller, and her wings had still been aching as she had grown into them. Now, as she paused and took a look at her face in the mirror, she could see the crow’s feet around her eyes and the age seeping into her skin. Valencia had grown in more than one way. As she walked into her office, she let her wings open and stretch enough to let the joints pop and crack. 

Asgard.

Did she remember it?

Yes, Valencia decided, she remembered Asgard. Gold, magic, and power accumulated in one city built off of conquering and theft. She remembered hating Asgard and everything it stood for as the epicenter of the realms, pretending they were a step above everyone else because they knew the fastest way to slit throats. She hated Asgard for the heads that shouldn’t have rolled, but she couldn’t change that now. She could only bring down the hell she had suffered.

As she sat down in her chair and carefully laid the piece of paper that was her key to the kingdoms on her desk, Valencia delicately shifted a small framed photo. There she was, small and laughing with her older sister, her mother smiling in a chair on the edge of the frame with her father standing next to her mother. The picture was old, showing a few signs of wear and tear around the edges. The frame was a simple silver one, engraved with a small message.  _ Don’t forget _ . With a rare smile, she began to straighten out her desk and hum quietly to herself. The time for a second trial was approaching.

She would head home, and in the morning she could appear before the queen.

After all, it was improper to request the army over the phone.

-

It was the middle of the night, and she couldn’t sleep. For months, she had been able to sleep decently well without another warm body next to her, but now as she lied there staring at the ceiling, she wanted to have someone next to her.

So, she quietly climbed out of bed, her wings stretching and popping as she padded over to the door and slowly pulled it open. Stepping out into the hallway with a yawn, she tiredly shuffled across the stone floor with her black and blue wings neatly folded behind her. The hallway was nice at night, she couldn’t help but notice, with torch light flickering and casting warm glows across her face. The stars shone through the windows, and while the stone was cold underneath her feet she found that she really didn’t care. She had been here a long while, or so she thought, and with the spring ball marking the beginning of late spring harvests into summer planting, the air was warm enough to be comfortable without sticking to her skin.

As she made her way to Loki’s room, she let her wings flutter and stretch a little in the hallway. At first, she had hated the grandeur and size of everything Asgardian when she had first arrived. Now, when she had slipped so easily into the position of living among royalty, the size of everything was familiar. Yes, it was all far larger than her, but she knew that if she wanted she could be held and comforted by the largeness.

Caught up in her thoughts, she gently tapped the door to Loki’s bedroom. There was a moment of silence, and then the gentle sound of bare feet against the floor before the door opened and Loki pulled her into his dark room. He shut the door behind her, softly humming before pressing a tired kiss to the top of her forehead.

“I figured you’d be coming.” She laughed a little, reaching up as she stood on her tiptoes so she could ruffle Loki’s hair as she scrunched up her nose. “I could feel your magic getting anxious on the other side of the palace.”

“You could feel it?” He nodded, climbing back into his bed and gesturing for her to follow. She did so, scrambling up onto mattress and slipping underneath the covers while adjusting the position of her wings.

“You have your own little magic frequency. Like a Midgardian radio station. I can feel your magic lingering under your skin,” he said with a mischievous smile, running a finger down the bridge of her nose. “And whenever you use your magic or feel something strongly you radiate honeysuckle.” After a moment’s consideration, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. She rolled onto her side, facing him with her wings folded on her back.

They stayed there in silence for a moment, with just the sound of their breathing filling the room along with the soft breeze that ruffled the curtains that lay over the doorway to the balcony. Loki had left the doors to the outside open, and they let in the warm night air with soft whispers.

“It’s strange,” she whispered, pulling the pillow closer with a slow exhale. “I miss Eleanor. But I don’t love her anymore. Not in the way I used to,” she whispered, her voice dying a little towards the end.

“Things change,” Loki murmured in return, his eyes still fixated on the ceiling above them.

“Yeah, I know. But that’s the thing. I thought that never would.” She dug her fingers into the pillow, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. After a moment of silence, she heard Loki shifting and soon she was being held against his chest with a soft hum.

“You’ve already mourned the loss of your relationship with her. I think you did before you came here. And now that you aren’t grieving her, that makes sense. There's no point in mourning longer than you grieved.” She opened one eye, her wings moving ever so slightly as she chuckled. 

“When did you learn all of this?” Loki chuckled, meeting her gaze and running a hand through her hair.

“Books, darling. One can live as many lives as they please through the pages.” She smiled, moving closer so she was pressed against Loki’s chest with the soft sound of his heartbeat in her ears. “Now sleep,” he whispered as he pressed his face into her hair with a content sigh. 

The two of them slept peacefully curled up against each other, their legs mingling with each other and curling together as their hands rested on hips and in hair and brushing against black, blue, and green feathers that shimmered ever so gently in the soft moonlight that came through the curtains.

-

“How long have I been here?” Loki shrugged, turning a page of his book as his fingertips gently rubbed her scalp. They were relaxed on the library couch, surrounded by a spell that hid them from view of others entirely. She insisted on the spell, mostly because being hidden away meant Loki was willing to be more affectionate that he was in the public eye.

“I believe around an hour.” She snorted, turning her gaze to his face as she laid sprawled across the couch with her head in Loki’s lap. 

“Not here, snake. In Asgard. When did I… arrive?” Loki looked up from his book, meeting her gaze and furrowing his brow in contemplation as he thought. He set his book down to the side, continuing to run his fingers through her hair as he counted.

“I’d estimate roughly three months total. You and the auroras arrived at the beginning of spring, and it’s beginning to become summer. Why?” she hummed, shifting slightly with a small yawn.

“I was meant to be gone two weeks, you know.” Loki was silent for a moment, his hand still gently rubbing her scalp without truly thinking about it.

“Do you regret falling through the portal?” She shrugged, taking his free hand in her own and playing with his fingers as she spoke.

“I don’t know. I kind of miss the academy, and Eleanor, but I think I would regret not knowing you more. It’s weird. Getting the sun in your eyes is always kind of on the borderline when you think about whether or not you regret it.” Loki looked down at her curiously, his head tilting to the side.

“I take it ‘getting the sun in your eyes’ is a saying from Vindrheim?” She nodded, carefully bringing his hand to her mouth and pressing a soft kiss to the knuckles. “Does it have a translation?” After a moment of thought she shrugged, absentmindedly messing with his hand she thought.

“I don’t know enough Asgardian to translate it. I’ve been using this weird magical loophole to talk anyways, where I’m using like, this grey area of Alltongue so that you can understand me but this isn’t really a true language.” Loki snorted, fluffing her hair with a soft sigh. 

“It doesn’t matter, darling. Would you like for me to preen your wings?” Something in her heart did a fast waltz as she shifted in his lap with a hum, considering his offer.

“They haven’t been groomed in an awfully long time,” she murmured, pushing her head against Loki’s hand with a soft hum.

“All the more reason for you to accept my offer,” he cajoled her, a gentle smile on his face as he slipped his hand underneath her head to hold it up somewhat. She laughed, sticking her tongue out as she sat up.

“You just want to play with my wings,” she said, and Loki sheepishly nodded.

“They’re fascinating and new,” he hurriedly defended himself as her wings began to unfurl from the back of her dirty, beaten and cut in a few places tank top. “And beautiful,” he breathed as she spread her wings and moved to sit on his lap, closer to his knees than his hips. His hands carefully began to card through her feathers, brushing between them and straightening them out with a soft hum. After a moment of silence, she gave his leg a gentle squeeze.

“You aren’t going to leave me once I’m not new anymore, right?” Loki shook his head, brushing his lips lightly across the back of her neck and sending shivers down her spine.

“I would not leave you for such a silly reason.” She hummed, letting her eyes drift shut as Loki carefully straightened out her feathers and neatened the ones that had gotten somewhat grungy. “Your feathers are fascinating,” he murmured, and she shrugged.

“I’m used to them. I’ve had them for almost forever, you know.” He nodded, and she looked at him over her shoulder. “I’ll be molting soon, I bet. You can always look at them then.” He smiled, meeting her eyes with a happy exhale. 

“I would love to.”

-

A couple of weeks into their relationship, Frigga knew for certain that they were together, even if it was behind everyone’s back and hiding in the shadows. 

It was hard to not notice the blooming purple bruise hiding just out sight underneath Loki’s hair. She didn’t comment on it of course, but she had caught the almost proud gaze of the girl as Loki had rearranged her hair to cover it while chiding her lover for some unknown topic.

It was hard to not notice the way that her son, her daughter, her child who was both and neither, leaned into every touch from the girl, the way they smiled more, the way she ever so gently cupped Loki’s face with her face softly glowing with an emotion Frigga recognized as love. She knew that they had begun wading into the lake, both pretending they weren’t fully submerged in the warm, soothing water.

She did not push them. They had decided to begin their journey as a pair, and it was up to them to decide how quickly they moved in the current that was battering them left and right.

-

She didn’t expect the knock on her door in the middle of the night, but she found she welcomed it when she opened the door and found Loki standing on the other side with his hair somewhat a mess. He stepped into her room and gave her a soft kiss, pulling away before she could deepen the contact and giving her a soft smile.

“Hey,” she whispered, pulling him into a hug and pressing her ear against his chest. “What’re you doing here?” Loki chuckled, returning her embrace and gently stroking her hair.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he murmured softly as the two of them began to gently sway back and forth in a slow sort of dance where the steps didn’t matter as long as they danced together. “I’ve gotten awfully used to having you with me in bed.” She chuckled, looking up at him with a soft smile.

“How long has it been since I started sleeping in your bed?” He pursed his lips, his face wrinkling as he concentrated on counting.

“I believe it’s been around a month.” She raised her eyebrows, humming thoughtfully.

“So we’ve been together for a little more than a month?” He nodded, the smile on his face slowly growing. “It somehow feels like it’s been months more yet only a few days.” Loki softly laughed, shaking his head with a gentle sigh.

“I can’t help but agree with you.” He carefully took one of her hands, spinning her about and twirling her away. When she reached the end of his arm’s reach, she let her wings unfold from her back and spread out behind her with the soft shushing noise of feather rubbing against feather. “Norns, you’re gorgeous,” he breathed out and she laughed, folding her wings and twirling towards him until she was pressed against the prince’s chest.

“And you’re incredibly handsome.” Loki smiled, and he carefully leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. She hummed in delight, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck as he tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss. He could taste the sweet honeysuckle of her magic in her mouth as his tongue slid in for a moment to tease her. As their mouths moved against each other, Loki began to straighten his back. Her solution was merely to jump and wrap her legs around his torso, letting her be closely nestled against him as their mouths continued to move. His arms wrapped around her, holding her up so she wouldn’t fall. 

It felt right.

They both knew they loved one another, they knew it truly without any sort of hesitation as they kissed, as they talked, as they sat in silence at any hour of the day just to be near the other person and see their smile.

It was so simple to love above all else.

It was so incredibly simple to just silently be in love with each other as they laced together their hands and their hearts without a word.

As she broke the kiss, she smiled at Loki and pressed her forehead to his with a laugh, and he could see the separate freckles on her face and the glowing joy in her eyes.

They didn’t say a word as Loki carried them both over to the bed and they crawled under the covers together, but their hearts were both softly whispering “I love you” for everyone to hear.

“Sweet dreams,” she softly murmured as Loki curled around her, a hand draped over her waist to pull her close to his chest.

“Sweet dreams, darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact, because the reader is a lil liar and just doesn't want to confess to being a huge sap: getting the sun in your eyes is an expression that essentially is meant to describe falling in love! the idea behind it is that if you fly directly towards the sun, it's hard to see where you're going.


	28. auroras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving everyone who's celebrating!
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter! it's one of the ones i deeply looked forward to writing, and i hope you all enjoy reading it! leave a comment if you can, and i'll see you again next week!

She was buzzing.

As she woke in Loki’s bed, the sky was still covered with the blanket of night that the moon had so carefully wrapped the sun in. But something had changed. Something was different, something was making her buzz and overflow with bubbles of energy that flew to her brain. She crawled out of bed, her wings folded neatly on her back as she walked in only her nightgown out to the balcony.

The sky pulsed with auroras in shades of green, blue, and purple that made her mouth open wide as her heart pounded against her ribcage, her entire body vibrating. They were coming. She let out a cry, hollering her joy to the sky as large tears began to roll down her cheeks like fat drops of blood from an open wound. Her wings fluttered nervously as she jumped around on the balcony, her hands reaching for the sky with open palms as she tried so desperately to touch the stars. She spun around, never once tearing her eyes from the sky and its shifting colors that danced across her face.

As she danced, Loki watched her. He had awoken when she left his grasp, and her cry had pulled him fully into the land of the waking. And as he watched her dance, he couldn’t help but pull his knees to his chest and softly smile at the girl he loved. After a while, he stood up and walked out onto the balcony, the wind beginning to pick up. When she turned around and saw him, she ran forward and grabbed at his shirt, her eyes wide as Loki felt her heart in his chest.

“Loki, Loki, the auroras, Watcher,” she babbled, her face almost glowing with happiness as she clung to him.

“Slow down, darling. What is it?” She let out a sharp exhale, and with one quick movement she pulled his head down and captured his lips in a rough bruising kiss that knocked the air out of him as her mouth fervently moved against his in an act of loving desperation that said things that didn’t belong being said aloud with such flimsy things as words.

“They’re coming to take me home, Loki.” She felt him freeze up underneath her hands, and his face contorted into a grief-stricken one that caused her to furrow her brows in confusion. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you happy?” He swallowed, his hands coming up to cup her face gently as if she was made of dreams stitched together by the quills of molted feathers.

“Because I thought you were going to stay,” he whispered, pretending she couldn’t hear the thick tears hiding behind his voice.

“You can come along, right?” Her hands loosened their grip on his shirt, dropping to her sides as she took a step back. “You can just come with me,” she insisted, rushing to the edge of the balcony and leaning over the railing to move closer to the auroras for a moment before turning and moving back towards Loki. “It’s just – it’s just that up there is my  _ home _ , Loki,” she said, swallowing down a sudden slew of thoughts screaming that maybe her home wasn’t up there anymore. “And my family and friends are up there and I’ve had nightmares about losing them all forever! You know that, Loki,” she pleaded, moving closer to him and taking his hands in hers and holding them so tightly it seemed she was afraid they were going to turn into doves and fly away. “You know how much that up there means to me, I know you do,” she half whispered, tears still streaming down her face in trails that shone under the light of the auroras. Loki pulled his hands away sharply, beginning to pace back and forth across the balcony.

“Norns below darling, of course I know how much that means to you!” Loki paused in his pacing, his fists clenching and unclenching as he desperately tried to hold back tears. “It’s just-” he growled, pressing his hands to his forehead before letting them drop to his sides. “I’m horribly selfish and I want to keep you at my side!” His voice grew to a screaming crescendo as his face became red and screwed itself up into a form she almost didn’t recognize, his chest hurting with emotions he didn’t know how to voice.

A strong wind whipped across the balcony, causing her nightgown to fly about her legs as her hair was thrown around by the gusts. Loki’s shirt caught the wind, flapping about and making him seem to almost grow in size. The auroras pulsed above them, letting Loki see her face as it slipped between grief and fear and an emotion he couldn’t identify that his heart screamed a chorus to.

“Can’t you come with me?” She sounded so desperate, so hopeless, that Loki couldn’t help but let a few stray tears slip past his lashes and down his cheeks with rapid blinks meant to contain them. She sounded so broken and hopeless.

It made him ache.

“I’m a prince, love,” he said, a hand coming up to wipe away the tears from his cheeks. “Father will never let me go. There’s nothing to be done,” Loki said, not truly believing in his heart that nothing could be done because Norns his heart yearned for her even though she was only a few steps away, her feathers being ruffled by the wind that still blew across the balcony.

Even though he could reach out and touch her, that distance felt like oceans to his heart. Oceans that he was willing to cross, if only for her. “Believe me, I’d give anything to go home with you.”

“Then do it,” she pleaded, stepping closer to him and taking his hands once more as Loki tried to ignore the lump in his throat that wanted so badly to choke him with emotion. “Stop acting like a prince just because your parents want you to and start being mine because you choose to.” He swallowed, one of his hands pulling away from hers to gently cup her face and brush his thumb across her cheek.

He wanted to. Oh Norns, he wanted to more than anything. He wanted to have wings burst from his back and he wanted to be able to take her hand and follow her into the sky and to stay with her. Loki wanted to stay with her more than anything, because he knew that if he was left behind he would likely never see her again. He wanted so badly to say yes.

“I can’t,” he whispered, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks with a soft sigh. She made a soft sound of desperation, her hands coming up to hold Loki’s wrists as he gently cupped her face. The wind sent another strong gust across the balcony, making their hair wildly fly about their faces as they stared at each other in agony. 

“Why not?” He swallowed, turning his head away from her to look up at the auroras. “Loki, please. Please come home with me, Loki.”

“That’s  _ your _ home, darling. That’s a land where I… can’t dare to tread.” He swallowed heavily, turning back to look at her just in time to see her soft sob, watching her press her cheeks against his palms as tears rolled down from her eyes like water from the heavens. 

Loki let her cry.

What else could he do in the end?

So she cried, hard and heavy into his hands as he gently stroked her cheeks, trying to ignore the sobs compiling in his throat and burning like a fire as he tried so desperately to hold himself together while she fell apart. She quickly got herself together again, sniffling and pulling away her face so she could wipe away her tears and compose herself.

“I’m not going to let this be the end.”

Loki couldn’t help it; a bitter laugh bubbled up in his throat as he looked up to the sky.

“How?” She opened her mouth to reply, and after a moment it snapped shut. “I’ve seen the look in your eyes, love. You want what’s up there more than anything else in all of the realms.” She let out a sharp exhale, pressing the heels of her hands against her damp eye sockets as her body began to tremble. A long moment of silence passed during which her heart screamed for its turn to speak, and suddenly she ripped her hands away from her face and let her heart dance across her tongue.

“I don’t want it more than I want you!” It came out as almost a shriek, and Loki was taken aback with how far her words dug into his skin, the bite of her hurt latching on and refusing to let go. “I’m not going to leave you behind Loki,” she said, hiccuping with the full force of the sobs that were now shaking her body as she sunk to her knees, her wings shaking behind her. “I can’t leave you behind, I can’t, I  _ can’t _ ,” she cried, curling in on herself as her palms hit the ground and she began to curl up into a ball of feathers, tears, and golden threads of hopes that were strung together with love.

Loki slowly sunk down to meet her, pulling her into his lap with silent tears beginning to run down his face. She latched onto him, burying her face in his chest as she cried. His arms held her close and he buried his face into her hair with a soft sigh, closing his eyes and letting tears flow freely from his eyes.

“Not without you,” she whispered, holding him tight like he was her only anchor to the world. “Not without you.” Loki slipped a hand into her hair with a sigh, a shiver running down his spine as he bit his lower lip in hesitation. He knew what she meant. Norns, he knew exactly what she meant with each word she was saying, and he knew he felt the same. But something kept him silent for a while as the former wind weakened to a soft breeze and the auroras in the sky began to slowly fade.

After a while, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and spoke through his tears.

“I love you too.”

They sat there for a long while, Loki dampening her hair with his tears while peppering her head with kisses, and her crying against his chest and soaking his sleep shirt while her body shook with the force of the sobs she was muffling against him. Her wings wrapped around them, shielding them from the hopeless light of the auroras in a desperate attempt to forget and ignore the fate they knew was incoming.

As she clung to Loki, her tears began to slow, her cheeks drying with thick paths carved into them with trails of salt and painful dampness. When she was barely crying, she felt herself being gently lifted. She reflexively wrapped her legs around Loki’s waist as he carried her, and soon she felt the sheets against her skin as Loki held her close and kept his face buried in her hair. As she began to drift to sleep, exhausted from the force of her emotions, she heard him murmur a short phrase into her hair.

“I love you too.”

\- 

Eleanor was sober when Valencia summoned her, thank the Watcher.

She had dressed as Ms. Graves had requested she be; she was in a comfortable outfit that didn’t hinder her movement too much and wasn’t more than one layer in total. As she entered the lobby of the academy, her blue jay wings folded neatly on her back, she saw Valencia standing there in what was clearly white armor, although Eleanor couldn’t identify if it was functional or dress armor.

“So kind of you to join us,  _ Lenaret _ .” Eleanor winced slightly at the name, quickly brushing it off as Valencia continued speaking. “Come along. The Asgardian portal has been prepared, and we haven’t got all the time in the world.” Eleanor blinked once, then twice in confusion.

“Why are we going to Asgard?” Valencia laughed, the smile not quite reaching the wrinkled corners of her eyes.

“Haven’t you heard? That’s where your darling friend ended up.”


	29. reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry about my lateness, life has been kicking my ass lmao
> 
> and so! it comes. leave a comment if you can, and enjoy the chapter! love y’all!

She woke up with a sinking feeling of dread in her stomach mixing with a few shots of joy, a few shots of grief, and a dash of regret sprinkled into her chest and sloshing around as she stirred in Loki’s arms. A long moment of silence hung in the air, Loki still asleep with dried tear tracks running down his face from the night before. With a soft sigh, she carefully brought her hands up to cradle her light’s face.

 

She loved him. She knew she loved him. But some nagging part of her brain whispered to her  _ were you meant to fall for him? Were you meant to fall for the prince with a bit more temper a bit more brains a bit more ambition in his heart? Are you sure you did the right thing? _

 

“No,” she breathed back in reply to her mind, speaking so softly Loki did not stir at her breath blown across his face. “But I did the good thing.” With a sigh, she drew her thumb across Loki’s cheekbone and pressed a delicate kiss to his forehead. “Darling snake,” she softly sang, smiling as Loki made a small noise and began to shift about. “You need to wake up.” Loki hummed, reaching up and pulling her face down for a quick kiss that made her wings flutter slightly in surprise.

 

“Good morning,” Loki said, a cheeky grin on his face as she pulled her face back just enough so their lips brushed against each other as they spoke.

 

“I’m not leaving you,” she stubbornly said, and Loki closed the gap between them again.

 

“I don’t want to think about that,” he murmured against her mouth between kisses, his hands never leaving her skin. “Just humor me?” she smiled, sighing softly before returning to kissing him with her hands sliding underneath the edges of his shirt.

 

She could humor him. She liked kissing, with the familiar feel of his lips against hers and the way his tongue danced so elegantly between their mouths as he so effortlessly knocked the breath out of her. Besides, she thought as she traced symbols onto his skin and his lips began to move down to her jaw and neck, it was one of the times where she could be incredibly close to him and feel the chill of his skin against hers. She let out a small gasp as he carefully began sucking a lovemark onto her neck, close to the base of her head.

 

“Someone’s possessive this morning,” she teased as Loki gently nuzzled her neck and hummed, his hand brushing across the pale, almost healed scar along her arm that he had given her all those months ago. 

 

“If you do end up leaving,” Loki murmured as he held her close to him with his arms around her. “I have a gift for you. Don’t let me forget.” She nodded, carding a hand through Loki’s hair as they laid there in a tangle of sheets and limbs.

 

“They’ll probably come soon,” she softly murmured as she tilted her head back to press a delicate kiss to Loki’s cheek. “And I should probably wear a dress.” He sighed, shifting in bed and sitting upright while hoisting her onto his lap in one swift motion that made her yelp in surprise, her wings flaring out for a moment in an attempt to balance herself. “Snake-” she was quickly cut off by Loki pulling her into a tight hug and burying his face in her shoulder.

 

She let him stay there, smoothing his hair as he took deep, shaking breaths. 

 

Was he crying?

 

She wasn’t sure.

 

When he pulled away, she knew for certain her skin was damp, but his face appeared dry and his eyes normal. She immediately knew that he was hiding his tears from her, but she did not tell Loki that she knew. 

 

She merely pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

 

“Come on,” she murmured as she took Loki’s hand in hers, slipping off of the bed so her feet hit the floor. “If you want, you can dress me in green.” He smiled, following her over to his closet. 

 

“I’d like that very much,” he murmured. With a wave of his hand, he was fully dressed, and she was in a dark green dress embroidered with small curling snakes along the hem. There was of course no back, allowing her wings to move freely. “There. You look gorgeous, as always.” She chuckled, giving the hand she was still holding a gentle squeeze.

 

“Let’s go out to the balcony,” she murmured, pulling him along until they were standing outside in the sunlight as she looked to the sky. “They’ll be coming soon.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, standing so close behind her that her wings were pushed open slightly so he could stay as intimately close as possible to her.

 

“I suppose there isn’t anything to do except wait?” She shook her head, and he gave her a gentle squeeze.

 

As they watched, two specks appeared in the sky. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she watched, her eyes glued to the two small specks that hovered in the sky before beginning to glide downwards towards the Bifrost. She pushed up Loki’s sleeves, beginning tracing small patterns on the inside of Loki’s arms, her fingertips lighting up with magic as she began to softly chirp words. 

 

“ _ Protection, forgiveness, _ ” she whispered, drawing small sigils across his skin that left a golden glow and a buzz of magic underneath his skin. “ _ Love, remembrance, adoration, _ ” she breathed as her fingers began to move faster, the complex patterns appearing on Loki’s skin one after another as she worked as quickly as she could without making the magic shoddy. She quickly finished, and Loki turned her head to give her a quick kiss. He could taste the honeysuckle bursting across her tongue, the buzz of her magic filling her magic much like it sat under his skin. She was the one to break the kiss, rolling down his sleeves with a whisper. “Don’t show them the marks.” He nodded, and together they turned their eyes back towards the sky, one feeling worry and the other excitement.

 

As they looked back up, a flood appeared. People poured out of the sky, all gliding down towards the Bifrost in a mass of feathers of all different colors with faces of all shades, their wings creating a sound so loud when layered that Loki could hear them from the balcony. Her eyes widened slightly, and she pulled away from Loki’s hold.

 

She carefully walked to the edge of the balcony, her wings spreading behind her as she climbed up onto the bannister and looked down at the streets below.

 

After a moment, she let herself fall forwards into flight, her wings beating to keep her up as she made her way towards the Bifrost. Loki teleported down ahead of her, watching her all the way as she shot towards the Bifrost with her wings shimmering in the light as she flew, seeming quite like an angel in this light. As she got closer, he prepared to catch her before grabbing her around the waist once she was in reach. He gently set her down and she gave him a soft smile before she moved a distance away from him and turned her gaze back towards the sky. Loki couldn’t help but be reminded of a child watching the stars as he looked at her face, watching her wonder and hope written across her face in words spelled out by the gleam in her eyes and the curve of her lips.

 

Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she cupped her hands around her mouth before screaming as loudly as she could.

 

“ _ Eleanor! _ ” There was a pause, and then suddenly one of the two leading the flock dove forward, heading straight for the girl with an audible scream of triumph.

 

She knew that scream. Oh Watcher, she knew that scream, she knew that face that was rushing in with tears streaming down it, she knew those outstretched arms, she knew the body that crashed into hers with a sharp exhale. She knew Eleanor still. She fell onto the Bifrost with the force of the contact, the air knocked out of her lungs as Eleanor desperately clung to her while letting out laughs that spoke of too much pain.

 

“ _ You’re alive, oh Watcher you’re alive, _ ” Eleanor laughed, and she could feel Eleanor’s tears against her shoulder.

 

“ _ I’m alive, Eleanor, _ ” she whispered, giving Eleanor a tight squeeze before moving to stand up. Eleanor released her, wiping away her own tears that slid down her dark skin while looking her friend in the face.

 

“ _ I missed you so much, _ ” Eleanor murmured as the flock landed behind her on the Bifrost. Behind Loki, the Asgardian army had assembled, with Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three at the front of the soldiers but behind the reunion.

 

“ _ I thought I lost you forever, El. It was all so sudden, and just… it was terrible, falling through that gap. _ ” Loki cleared his throat behind her, and she turned away from Eleanor to face him.

 

“We will need to be able to understand you to have this discussion,” he calmly stated, and Eleanor frowned.

 

“What discussion?” Eleanor stepped forward, her blue jay wings flaring behind her as she slowly moved closer to Loki. “She’s coming home.”

 

“Eleanor,” she whispered, stepping in between Eleanor and Loki with her wings opening behind her to force distance. “Eleanor, it’s not that simple.” Eleanor’s brows furrowed, and her bright blue wings relaxed behind her. 

 

“What do you mean it’s not that simple? What’s complicated?” She sighed, her hands coming up to gesture as she spoke, but the words died in her throat before she could speak them to Eleanor. As this occurred, Loki caught the eye of the older women dressed in white on the other side of the reunion. The two of them stared at each other over the exchange passing between the ex-lovers, and after a while the older woman tilted her head to the side and gave him a smile that did not reach her eyes. Eleanor and the girl had slipped back into chirping and warbling away, their voices getting progressively more distressed. Suddenly, Eleanor grabbed her arm and twisted it so the inside faced upwards, the scar across the girl’s pale flesh sticking out underneath Eleanor’s far darker hands.

 

“ _ Where did you get this from? _ ” She froze up at Eleanor’s question, pulling her arm away and stepping back towards Loki, her eyes briefly meeting his just long enough for him to see the worry in her eyes that shone brighter than a dying star.

 

That was when Valencia stepped forward, a spear in her hand as her white wings flared out behind her.

 

“Where  _ did _ you get that scar, if I may ask?” Valencia had a soft smile on her face and a gentle velvet in her voice that was meant to coax, but the girl just took another step towards Loki.

 

“It’s a training injury,” she spat, her wings shifting about as if to make her seem larger. “Nothing more.” She took a step back, and Valencia took a step closer to her.

 

“Is that the truth?” Another step forward, and another step back. “Or is there something more to your story?” A murmur went up among the Asgardians, and Loki’s face hardened. “If you tell the truth, everything will be much easier.” She took a few more hurried steps back at Valencia’s cool tone, and Loki caught her with an arm around her waist as she ran into him. Valencia’s pale blue eyes met Loki’s and that untrue smile graced her lips once more. “Was it perhaps the prince who gave you that injury?”

 

“It was an accident-” she was cut off by Valencia advancing past Eleanor.

 

“So not only does Asgard see fit to hold our citizen captive,” Valencia began, her voice ringing down the Bifrost. “But also to damage her?” A roar of protest went up among the Asgardians, and Loki stiffened, his grip on her tightening as Valencia spoke. “That is an act of war!” 

 

Valencia’s hand swung up towards the sky, her dove wings spreading behind her as her smile finally reached her eyes.

 

The first arrow was loosed, and Loki teleported the two of them away just in time for the arrow to hit Thor in the shoulder. He let out a bellow of pain and yanked it out, and Loki stumbled as he appeared on his balcony with her in her arms. She struggled towards the edge but he held her tightly, the two of them watching in horror as the flock peeled off of the Bifrost and began to spread into the city.

 

The sound of a war-horn rang through Asgard, once, twice, three times.

 

As they stood there, frozen in shock, fires began to crop up around Asgard.

 

And so began the beginning of destruction, the space before a supernova, the moment before the dawn.


	30. the progression of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the second late chapter in a row y'all! i didn't have any time on wednesday and I spent thursday at a hospital, so friday is better than never I hope?
> 
> have the longest chapter of this fic! enjoy, leave a comment, and i'll see y'all next week!!

After a long moment, they broke through the glass pane of their shock, turning to each other and grabbing the other’s arms in a desperate move. There was a moment of silence with simply the two of them staring at each other with wide eyes and almost overwhelming fear.

 

“Who will you fight for?” She straightened up at Loki’s soft question, a huff coming from her mouth.

 

“I’ll fight for Thor, for Sif, for Queen Frigga, for you. Who else would I fight for?” Relief washed over his face, and with a quick gesture he summoned two daggers to his hands. Flipping them around so he was holding the blade, he offered her the handles and she quickly took them. They stared at each other for a moment before he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, relishing the burst of honeysuckle across his tongue.

 

“You do know I love you?” She nodded, slicing the skirts of her dress into long strips before tying them together to form something similar to her shorts.

 

“Yeah, I do know,” she said with a cheeky smile that didn’t quite glimmer in her eyes the way it should have. “And I love you too.” They stared at each other for a moment longer, eyes saying a few things their mouths couldn’t form the words for as light and shadow danced across the balcony.

 

She winked, and as she leapt from the balcony, she turned about in midair and blew him a cocky, calculated kiss that spoke of a confidence she didn’t quite feel as she soared off of the balcony. Gliding was regrettably easy, as the thermal updrafts from the fires that were quickly spreading shoved her up into the sky with the smoke. She coughed, doing her best to drift downwards but she was simply pushed back up into the smoke.

 

So she pulled her wings in and let herself drop like a stone. She could feel the air rushing past her face as she dropped away from the smoke and towards the fire. The flames got closer and closer, threatening to scorch her.

 

At the last moment, she flung her wings out and darted forward as fast as she could while the thermals pushed her back into the smoke. The streets below her were chaos, people running and screaming while Asgardian soldiers clashed with the Vindrese.

 

This was wrong. This shouldn’t be happening. This wasn’t the way things should have gone, that damned woman shouldn’t have told the army to attack, they should be talking this over across a table and settling what was to happen-

 

She inhaled a mouthful of smoke, and she tucked her wings in as she dropped down coughing. Watcher, this was dangerous, she shouldn’t be doing this in a coughing fit, it was hard enough to pull this off-

 

Her wings opened a second too late and she hit the ground. It wasn’t enough to damage her, but it was enough to hurt like hell as she went rolling across the ground. Groaning, she pushed herself to her feet and shifted her grip on the daggers Loki had given her. A group of three Vindrese soldiers flew over to join her, and she couldn’t help but grimace at the knowledge of what she had to do to them.

 

Before she knew it, the three soldiers were disabled and struggling to get up with their severed knee tendons keeping them on the ground and unable to walk. One spat at her feet before swinging a sword at her legs, and she leaped back to avoid the blow.

 

“ _ Traitor, _ ” they snarled, and her face contorted in pain. She turned away, running as quickly as she could and ignoring the burning on the bottoms of her feet. She wasn’t a traitor, she  _ wasn’t _ . She was just fighting to protect the land that had come to shelter her and the prince she had come to love.

 

She had to help the people who were running the other direction, the people trapped in buildings. She ran towards a house, her hands rising to protect her face as embers drifted from the skies darkening with smoke. A few landed on her shoulders, and she hurriedly brushed them off before her dress could catch fire as she vaulted rubble and tore her way into a house by sheer virtue of the adrenaline that was pumping through her veins so fast she was losing track of what was her head and what was the sensation of her heart pounding.

 

As she burst through the doorway, the people inside shrieked and cowered against the back wall. With a frown, she shoved the rubble around the door out of the way and stepped back. The family hesitated, but after a moment they streamed out through the door, shooting her looks of fear that made her mouth sour and her throat clench.

 

She ran back out into the streets, frantically look around when she suddenly slammed directly into someone’s chest. Her hand swung up in a blind panic as she moved to stab the person in the shoulder, but her wrist was seized midway down and a hand came up to cup her face.

 

“Darling, it’s me.” she looked up and met Loki’s gaze, her hands dropping down to her sides. In the one moment where she slowed down, she felt tears beginning to well in her eyes, so she snarled and leaned around Loki to throw a dagger into the chest of an approaching enemy (fellow citizen of Vindrheim she bitterly reminded herself) without a second thought.

 

“I’m trying to save them,” she growled as she ran forward and snatched her dagger from the chest of the man she had just killed, ignoring the burning sensation on the bottom of her feet as she dashed back to Loki. “I need to save them. Help me, please, Loki,” she begged, looking him in the eyes with her wings relaxing behind her for a moment. He stared at her for a precious moment before he waved his hands and she watched a green shimmer spread down her body.

 

Watcher, this was a change.

 

She could tell she was glowing gold, and she could feel her magic flaring up in response to the glamor. Green and white robes covered her body as she stood there in awe, her wings spreading behind her and shining in the gentle golden light Loki has surrounded her in. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl for a moment as sheaths for her daggers appeared around her hips and Loki met her gaze with a soft smile.

 

Time quickly snapped back around and hit her in the face as Loki threw a Vindrese soldier to the side with a burst of magic.

 

“Go,” he snarled, and she nodded as she sheathed her daggers and took off running. Now that she had stopped for a few seconds, the bottoms of her feet were burning with pain, but she was too busy running across hot ashes and flickering embers to busy herself with pain. She could hear the moments of awed silence that followed her as she ran, and she hated it. The pauses opened her nose up to the smell of the urine and blood that was spread across the ground with the bodies, and opened her mouth up to the acrid burn of blood and the suffocating smoke. As she ran, she heard the sudden cracking and creaking and groaning of a building and her gaze darted upwards. 

 

She only had a few seconds to run out of the way before the tower crashed to the ground with the sound of splintering wood as shrapnel flew every which-way and she was forced to fling her arms up to protect her face.

 

The moment of silence after the crash of the building was haunting. 

 

She strode forward with her face appearing much more confident than her shaking hands said, and she began pulling back pieces of rubble and throwing them to the side. 

 

“Help!”

 

That was from the rubble. She heard the cry again, and her eyes quickly raked across the visible area in search of the voice. 

 

It was a child. A young one at that, screaming and crying from their place boxed in by rubble. She dashed over, kneeling on the ground and beginning to rip away pieces of wood bit by bit. 

 

Behind her, Loki fought off approaching soldiers, doing his best to merely disable, not truly kill because part of his brain reminded him that any of these soldiers could be her former friend or her family. A pause came as she began to pull the child from the rubble, and Loki paused to watch. 

 

Norns, she was gorgeous no matter what. 

 

On the same battlefield on which the lovers fought, Eleanor was scared. Eleanor had to find her, had to bring her home, had to get away from this blood and these bodies and the fear that was making her shake as her dark hands tightly held a spear she had pillaged off of a dead Asgardian soldier. This was hell and she wanted out, and she wanted out now. 

 

In all honesty, she stumbled upon the scene on accident. 

 

The prince watching his lover (her girlfriend, Eleanor’s heart indignantly shrieked) with her magpie wings spread out behind her, haloed in gold light and dressed in ornate robes spattered with blood and ash as she carefully coaxed a child out of the wreckage of a building. 

 

Eleanor’s heart leapt up her throat and seized control of her brain without calling a council to vote on the matter, and her grip on the spear tightened in the beginnings of anger that would soon boil over.

 

_ He took her _ , her heart screamed as she opened wide her blue jay wings and leapt into the air.  _ He deserves this _ . She took aim, her heart furiously beating out a tune almost like a waltz against her ribcage.  _ He hurt her. I’m doing this for her. He deserves to be hurt _ .

 

Eleanor nearly vomited at the sick squelch of the spear impaling Loki through the gut and the sight of his blood welling from his veins, deep and crimson as it began to wet his clothing.

 

But her fury overrode her disgust at her own actions.

 

Eleanor landed in front of Loki and watched as he sank to his knees, his hands pressing around the wound and quickly becoming covered in the red, rust-scented blood flowing out of his gut.

 

Her head fuzzy with grief and rage, Eleanor swung her fist and listened to Loki’s jaw clack together as the skin along his cheekbone broke and he began to bleed. She kept swinging, landing blow after blow as Loki funneled his magic into healing himself the best he could. With one particularly nasty blow, the skin of his forehead split and liquid life began sliding down his forehead towards his eyes. 

 

At some point, Eleanor disconnected from the blows. Her head was drifting while her heart imparted its fury, her hands not quite her own and spattered with blood. She heard the scream, but it wasn’t until her mouth snapped shut that she realized it had been her who shrieked like a banshee.

 

All of a sudden, Eleanor was knocked back into her body with a punch to the face before she was thrown to the side with a sharp kick placed to her ribs and the nick of a knife across her shoulder. Eleanor blinked in surprise, scrambling backwards across the cooling ashes as she groped around for anything to protect her from the daggers that were swinging down in front of her. At the last moment as she ran into an Asgardian corpse, she snatched a shield and brought it up in front of her.

 

Eleanor had moved just fast enough for the two daggers to catch on the edge of the shield.

 

The fire in the girl’s eyes as she pulled her daggers back and swung back down at Eleanor again was terrifying.

 

Gone were her deep green and white robes, leaving her clothed in a tattered dress marked with blood. There was a slash across her hip, a shallow cut on her arm, and her legs were covered in the blood of others. A nick on her shoulder oozed a trickle of blood as they stared each other down, Eleanor cowering behind the shield and praying that she would spare her.

 

The last time Eleanor had seen that fire, her friend had slammed a knife into the wood of the table between the fingers of a man who had assaulted her. It had only been because of Eleanor that her friend hadn’t spent the night in jail, or even longer.

 

Seeing that fire turned against her was terrifying. The angelic figure who had run through the streets what felt like mere minutes before was gone, and all that was left was War riding her red horse with her blade poised to fight.

 

Suddenly, War was gone and all that was left was a horrified, bloodied girl who clapped her dirtied hands over her mouth and dropped her daggers to the ashes before backing away and running to her lover.

 

Eleanor let the shield clatter to the ground, and her blood stained hands came up to cover her eyes as she began to shake with silent tears.

 

Leaving behind Eleanor, she ran to Loki, kneeling on the ground in front of him as he frantically attempted to patch together the things he needed to stay alive. He looked up at her and offered her a bittersweet smile, his mouth not truly ready to speak.

 

“Fuck, fuck,” she murmured, quickly spinning a strand of her magic, letting it grow thicker and thicker before she wrapped it around the staff of the spear. The tip had been driven into the ground, and she didn’t want to try to remove it while Loki was in such a delicate position. “I’m going to fix this, I swear.” She closed her eyes and pulled, and the staff of the spear was neatly severed with a burst from the rope of her magic.

 

“Darling, you’re going to do something stupid if I know you. Don’t,” Loki rasped as a trickle of blood began to stream from his mouth. She bitterly laughed, catching him as he pitched forward onto her knees.

 

“I’m an expert at doing stupid things. This is going to hurt,” she warned, her hand wrapping around the staff of the spear from where it protruded from Loki’s back. His eyes went wide, and his mouth opened to say something to her.

 

She pulled the spear from his gut with one swift yank, and his hair-raising scream made her chest physically hurt.

 

“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered as she rolled Loki over so his chest was facing the sky before shifting him along her legs so she could easily reach his stomach. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she chanted as wove the spell to summon her dagger. Once it appeared in her hand, she hacked away the cloth around the wound and began peeling back the once green fabric so she could reach the wound. Cutting a loose, cleaner than most piece of fabric from her garb, she began to wipe away the blood on one side of the room. Loki’s chest was heaving, tears sliding down his cheeks from the pain as she cleaned his flesh still chanting her apologies all the while.

 

Taking a deep breath, she considered her options.

 

There weren’t very many that would work, and the majority of the ones that would work wouldn’t help nearly as much as she needed them to.

 

Which left her with one option.

 

An option that she would preferred to have never had to consider, but the only option left.

 

So she swallowed around the lump in her throat, dipped her hand into Loki’s blood, and began to draw the sigil. One large circle, then the line of three on the inside of the larger one. She put in the symbols for the vowels of Loki’s name into the center small circle, and then the consonants in the small circle above it. Then, gritting her teeth, she dipped her hand into the cut on her hip and covered her fingers with her own blood to finish the sigil with. As quickly as she could, she put the vowels of her name into the center circle, and then she put the consonants into the last empty small circle. 

 

Watcher, it had been ages since she used her Vindrese name.

 

That didn’t matter.

 

Taking a deep breath, she let her fingers light up with magic and she began to go around the edge of the largest circle again and again.

 

Watcher, it  _ hurt _ . The spell burned in her chest, in her heart, in her hands and her gut and her legs. Her body was covered in pins and needles, but she kept going around the circle. Nobody had warned her this would hurt. Then again, very few people ever did this. 

 

On what felt like her hundredth tracing of the larger circle, the blood-drawn sigil glowed gold and tattooed itself onto Loki’s skin as his organs began to rearrange themselves and his skin began to stitch itself back together, the seam glowing golden as his flesh regenerated. She slumped over his stomach, feeling her energy drain from her body and into Loki as she took deep, shaking breaths.

 

She didn’t care if this was a bad decision. It was keeping Loki alive.

 

As she lay there, draped over the healing body of her lover with the dagger Eleanor had gifted her clutched in her left hand, Valencia entered the scene with a smile that stretched from ear to ear and seemed to light up her face. 

 

This was what Valencia had wanted all along.

 

Asgard cowering at her feet as the buildings went up in flames.  _ This _ was what her pain had felt like.  _ This _ was what Asgard deserved, not thrones of gold and power, but ashes and shreds of their former glory.

 

She had known revenge would feel good, but this surpassed her expectations.

 

As she surveyed the destruction, Valencia caught that pesky girl who had dragged her here in search of some other pesky girl striding up to her, one of her eyes beginning to swell shut.

 

“Call off the army.” What was this girl’s name again? Oh yes, Lenaret. Valencia scoffed, and with disdain in every movement of her muscles, she brought her hand down hard across the dark brown cheek of the girl and watched as she fell down to the ashes.

 

“Why should I? I’m having such fun,” Valencia half sang, smiling her empty and haunting smile down at Eleanor. “And this is why I came here.”

 

Oh dear. 

 

It looked like the second pesky girl didn’t like hearing that. 

 

She hauled herself out from underneath Loki, ignoring his protests and pulling her way out of his grasp. Her dress was tattered, her hands were shaking, her legs were seriously considering buckling beneath her, and now that she had paused for a few minutes, the burns on the bottom of her feet were screaming in agony.

 

But still she ran forward and slashed with her dagger, stumbling forward and struggling to regain her balance when Valencia dodged. 

 

“Call off your army.” Valencia laughed. It was loud and sharp and it physically hurt to hear. She slashed again and missed, and Valencia swiftly picked a sword up from the ground.

 

“No.” She screamed at the response, wildly flinging herself forward as she followed Valencia with the dagger, moving in a circle as she desperately tried to land a single blow. She was tiring quickly, her wings flaring with each missed strike. 

 

Valencia’s sword came down on her, and she screamed in agony as her wing began to bleed. Once, twice more, and she collapsed to the ground with her dagger falling into the cooling ash. 

 

Before she really knew what was happening, her hair was yanked back and her own dagger was pressed tightly against her throat as she kneeled.

 

Watcher be damned, this hadn't been the plan.

 

She could feel the cool steel against her neck and Valencia’s hot breath in her ear.

 

“This wasn’t the plan, but it’s the best course of action.”

 

As she met Eleanor’s gaze and saw the tears sliding down her cheeks, she couldn’t help but offer a soft smile.

 

She was strangely okay with this being the end. 

 

As Valencia moved to slit her throat, she let her eyes drift shut and she felt the blade nick the edge of her neck. 

 

Before the cut could be deepened or finished, a strong pulse of magic sent Valencia flying into a wall and her eyes snapped open. 

 

Loki was sitting upright, one hand clutching his gut while his other hung in the air flung out in front of him, his eyes wide with fear. 

 

“You were going to let her kill you, you absolute  _ idiot _ ,” he weakly snarled, his hand dropping down to prop himself up as she stared at him. “Did you consider that I want you alive?”

 

“I could have handled it just fine,” she spat, her wings fluttering behind her with sharp stinging pains. Loki’s mouth opened to spit back a retort, but his voice got lost as his arm swung up to point. 

 

She heard the clang of sword against shield ring in her ears as Eleanor screamed.

 

“ _ Are you going to help me or not? _ ” One of Eleanor’s eyes was beginning to swell shut as she parried Valencia’s blow, and the girl watched in shock for a few moments.

 

She lunged forwards and grabbed her dagger from the ashes, spinning behind Valencia and bringing the blade across the flesh of the dove wing. 

 

Valencia did not make a single sound. She merely turned around and slashed downwards with her sword. Valencia was knocked off course by a sharp hit from Eleanor’s shield. Eleanor came to stand next to the girl she had once called hers, looking her in the eyes with a smile. 

 

“ _ Together? _ ” She nodded at Eleanor. 

 

“ _ Together. _ ” With that, they fell into a familiar dance that they both knew by heart. Side against side, blow followed by block, a wounding dagger and a saving shield coming to form a close tango they had danced before. 

 

Cuts appeared on Valencia one after the other. 

 

Even with blood oozing down her neck and her hands shaking from exhaustion, she kept going. 

 

Even with one eye swelling shut and her face still damp with tears, Eleanor kept going. 

 

When a dagger was pressed against her throat, Valencia did not keep going. 

 

“ _ Call off the army. _ ” Valencia scowled. The dagger pressed against her flesh, and she smiled a true smile. With a wave of her hand, a stream of white sparks flew into the air and began to drift down over Asgard. The white flag they had asked for.

 

“ _ It’s done. _ ” She raised an eyebrow, staring at the beaten and bloody girls. “ _ Why don’t you kill me? _ ” 

 

Eleanor saw War reappear in the eyes of her friend, and as a hand swung back to hack away at Valencia’s neck, Eleanor grabbed the wrist of her friend.

 

“ _ Don’t. Make her pay with a lifetime of existence, _ ” Eleanor hissed as her friend struggled to get free. Eventually, the fire died down and Eleanor released her. 

 

With a scream, she instead plunged the knife through Valencia’s left hand as Eleanor gagged. Ripping it out between Valencia’s fingers and watching the blood gush onto the ashes below, she suddenly lost her fire. She began to sway on her feet, the dagger slipping from her grip and landing on the cooling ash. Eleanor held her up, watching as Valencia took her undamaged hand and held together her halved one.

 

She stumbled over to Loki, falling into a seated position next to him as Eleanor began to scream for medical attention and Valencia cradled her ruined hand. 

 

“It’s over,” she breathed as Loki pushed himself upright with a hand over where his gut had been pierced. “It’s over.”

 

“Are you going to be alright?” She laughed, looking down at her shaking hands with a shrug.

 

“You’re the one who got impaled through the gut,” she deflected, flinching when Loki put his hand on her shoulder. 

 

“Let me rephrase that. What are your injuries?” She shrugged, putting her head in her hands and slumping forwards. 

 

“There’s burns on the bottom of my feet,” she mumbled, holding her hair tightly. “I’ve got a lot of cuts. I-I don’t know,” she said, lifting her head and nervously shaking her arms. “I’ll find out later. My energy is occupied,” she snapped, swallowing as Loki pulled back in surprised. “Just take medical attention first.”

 

Off to the side, Valencia was being chained as Eleanor ushered medical attention over. When she saw the sigil on Loki’s stomach as he was lifted onto a stretcher, Eleanor’s eyes widened. 

 

“ _ You cast that- _ ” she cut Eleanor off. 

 

“ _ Yes, _ ” she snarled. “ _ To save him _ .” Eleanor’s face softened, and she nodded. A medic came up behind her, and Eleanor winced as she grabbed the hand of the medic. “Don’t fucking  _ touch _ me,” she screamed, standing up and storming over to the stretcher that Loki was on. “I can handle myself.”

 

This turned out to be a lie when Eleanor had to catch her as she collapsed a few moments later. 

 

“Be careful with her,” Loki insisted as Eleanor followed the stretcher. “I’d like to make sure she wakes up.” Eleanor scoffed. 

 

“I took care of her long before you knew her.” As she spoke, her blue jay wings retracted into her body. Better to be safe than sorry here where the bodies belonged to both sides. 

 

“So, Eleanor?” She nodded, and Loki’s face softened slightly. “She spoke of you often.”

 

As they were carried into the medical wing, Eleanor laid the girl on a bed next to the dark prince before moving a little bit away as nurses swarmed the pair and the soldiers who were being carried in. 

 

The end was over.

 


	31. the trial(s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is. the end (?). and i'm strangely happy with it! but i do have more ready! their story ends here, but they have a couple more left in them. as a note, there's going to be another update tomorrow, but it's not going to be a chapter, it's gonna be me explaining some stuff and what will happen to this series! so make sure to read that too, but for now, enjoy this chapter, have fun, leave a comment if you can, and i'll see all of you tomorrow!

The trial date had arrived.

 

The throne room was filled with benches that held rows of murmuring people, with groups of people that varied from the maids and seamstresses all seated together and passing pieces of gossip up and down, to the section of people of Vindrheim come to see Valencia Graves, one of the most respected and powerful women in the realm. Off to the side along one of the walls, Eira and Jamie stood together, whispering in each other’s ears and theorizing about why Loki and his darling hadn’t shown up. A small golden ring glinted on Jamie’s finger, catching the light as she twirled her hair around a finger.

 

At the throne, Odin sat in his golden chair with Frigga and Thor seated to his right. On the left side of him sat the queen of Vindrheim, her hummingbird wings neatly tucked onto her back as she calmly sat robed in her traditional purple dress with her crown sitting atop her head. She softly conversed with Odin, her face neutral the entire time, making it impossible to discern any of what she was saying.

 

The courtroom went silent as the doors swung open, and a unit of guards led Valencia in. She was thoroughly chained, with her ankles and hands both bound along with a cloth tied around her mouth to keep her gagged. She was brought to the front of the room and pushed down to her knees, the gag removed as a guard introduced her.

 

“The court presents Valencia Abigail Graves for trial.” Odin hit Gungnir against the floor, and the guard retreated the the back of the room as the trial was called to order. Valencia shifted her weight back onto her feet as she kneeled in front of the jury, feeling the weight of her wings bound together at the base with a heavy chain and lock as she fluttered them.

 

She looked up at Odin and she smirked.

 

“Valencia Abigail Graves, what do you plead?” She tossed her head, throwing her blonde hair back from her equally pale face as she blinked up at the Allfather with clear blue eyes.

 

“I plead guilty.” A murmur went up around the courtroom, but Odin did not call it to order.

 

“You have committed multiple acts of war in the past few days, including attacking without incentive, harming innocent civilians, and invading Asgard.” the Allfather kept her gaze, searching for any hint of remorse behind her even stare and steady smirk. “Why?” She sighed, keeping her hands on her lap as she sat on the cool floor of the courtroom, clutching her damaged one that had been stitched back together.

 

“Because your father killed my family.” A roar went up in the courtroom, and Odin slammed the staff of Gungnir into the ground twice, silencing the room as Valencia continued to speak. “You know how long that’s filled me with rage? Centuries. Now that I’ve burned your city with my fury, I’m content. Kill me, lock me away, banish me, do as you please. I’m done.” Thor shifted in his seat, his grasp on Mjolnir shifting before Frigga stopped him in his tracks with a stern glare. “I’m at your mercy, like my mother was at your father’s for a crime she didn’t commit.” The courtroom was dead silent, with only Valencia’s chains providing noise. “Your father, Odin Borson,” she calmly murmured, her voice somehow so loud that everyone in the room could still hear her. “Your father beheaded my entire family and left me a young orphaned girl because he did not want to blame an Asgardian for murder.” Silence returned as she smiled up at Odin, the gesture failing to reach the hurt that lingered behind her eyes.

 

Odin turned to the queen of Vindrheim and nodded. She lifted her chin as she stared down at Valencia, her thick braid of black and deep purple hair shifting on her shoulder as she scoffed.

 

“I have no words to say to a woman who betrayed her country and caused the pointless deaths of hundreds of soldiers for the sake of her own personal revenge.” Valencia’s face twisted in what seemed like pain for a moment before smoothing into bitterness.

 

“Queen Cassandra-” she was cut off by the queen raising her hand up.

 

“I have nothing more to say about Valencia Graves.” As Valencia stared up at the queen with her eyes wide and pleading, Odin turned to Frigga and nodded. Frigga shifted in her seat, clasping her hands in her lap as she looked down at Valencia.

 

“You have been hurt by us,” Frigga carefully began, the courtroom holding their breaths as they waited to see where the queen would go with this speech. “And you have held your pain for a long time. But that does not excuse your actions. Pain does not excuse destruction. Pain does not excuse burning our city. Pain does not excuse you almost causing the death of my son.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before continuing. “Pain excuses none of your actions. Plenty of others suffer. But I do not believe you are capable of looking past your own nose to meet the eyes of others.” A gentle murmur went around the courtroom as Frigga held her silence for a moment. “I have nothing more to say to Valencia Graves.”

 

Odin looked to Thor, and after a moment the prince shook his head.

 

“I have nothing to say to Valencia Graves.” Odin met Valencia’s gaze once more, his face solemn. 

 

“I believe you are guilty of all charges pressed against you. I sentence you to a lifetime locked away so you may carry your pain forever.” Odin hit the staff of Gungnir against the ground twice more. “The trial of Valencia Abigail Graves concludes with the sentence of guilty and a lifetime locked away.” A guard walked forward and pulled her to her feet, and she blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear her eyes. A bitter laugh pushed its way out of her throat before being cut off as the gag was put back into her mouth and she was dragged away by the guards with one stray tear rolling down her cheek.

 

As the doors closed behind Valencia, the courtroom broke into chatter and the people rose and began milling about. Snippets of conversation floated about, discussing what had happened, what would happen, what the future of Asgard would be now that the angels were no longer trapped in story book pages. Frigga stood and crossed over to Queen Cassandra, smiling and curtsying before her. She returned the gesture, bowing at the waist so her iridescent wings caught the light.

 

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Queen Cassandra,” Frigga said, gently smiling. “Please, accompany me on a walk.” the queen nodded, following Frigga as they casually meandered towards the gardens together.

 

“I have heard mixed stories about was happened to my citizen during her time here,” Queen Cassandra coolly commented as they began to walk among the blooms of the garden. “I would like to know the truth.” Frigga smiled, pausing in front of a patch of violets and gazing down at them.

 

“She has been well cared for. She arrived quite broken, and we healed her back to health. It took awhile, but she did eventually seem to fit more easily into palace life here. My son cares for her, and together they’re quite the pair.” Queen Cassandra chuckled, leaning down and plucking a violet from the plant before easing the stem into her thick braid.

 

“So, the tales of her dating the dark prince are true? How charming,” she murmured with a gentle smile.

 

“I believe it would be beneficial for our countries if we reopened our communications,” Frigga carefully ventured. “I believe there are things we could learn from each other.” Queen Cassandra raised her eyebrows, continuing through the gardens.

 

“Are you proposing this idea for the sake of your son and his love, or for the sake of your country?” Frigga smiled, tilting her head to the side.

 

“Can I not do both?” Cassandra smiled, clasping her hands in front of her body. They continued to walk, quietly discussing politics.

 

Elsewhere in the garden, surrounded by rose bushes, two lovers sat underneath a tree sharing a soft moment after enough difficulty to last them a lifetime. Loki’s hands carefully carded through her hair, and they softly murmured stories to her. They told her about the story of the angels, what they brought, the love in the hearts of the divine beings. There was a moment of silence, and Loki pressed their face into her hair.

 

“Are you going home?” She remained silent, carefully fidgeting in Loki’s lap as she mulled over the question.

 

“I’m not sure where home is anymore,” she softly murmured as she pressed herself closer to Loki. They blinked in surprise, their hands sliding down to wrap around her waist.

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t know, snake. Maybe I’ll try to do something where I live here and visit home? I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave you.” She sniffled, one hand coming up to knuckle the dampness from her eyes as she desperately pushed back tears. Somewhere along the line, up there had stopped being home and started to be Loki’s smile, and their heartbeat, and the soft way they breathed when they fell asleep.

 

Loki turned her around, carefully wiping away her tears with their thumbs as they peppered her face with kisses. They softly shushed her, keeping her close so she could hear the vibrations of their chest as they hummed.

 

“I love you, my magpie, my dear. Whether you stay or go isn’t my choice. Although, I will admit I’m quite partial to having you with me.” She softly laughed, leaning into Loki’s touch and burying her face into their chest with a content sigh.

 

“I love you too, my snake,” she whispered before tilting her head back and carefully kissing the one she had come to love with her heart. “I think perhaps I’ll make you a cape.” They raised their eyebrows, looking at her curiously.

 

“Why?”

 

“It’s hard to explain,” she murmured. “But at its core it sort of symbolizes lovers giving everything they have to their partner.” Loki didn’t reply. They just softly smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Someday, she softly thought as her hand drifted to where the sigil on their stomach sat. Someday she would tell them what she had sacrificed.

 

As they sat there together, they turned their gazes towards the sky as Loki’s fingers returned to carding through her hair and they kept murmuring gentle stories. Along the line, they began to tell the story of the girl who fell from the sky and almost died, the story of the girl who was willing to fight for anyone who needed her help, the story of the girl who was curbed by her own fears, the story of the girl Loki had fallen for somewhere down the line.

 

In the gardens, Cassandra and Frigga wandered, talking in hushed voices about what was to come next for their countries.

 

Deep in the dungeons, Valencia fluttered her chained dove wings as she pinched and prodded her left hand in an attempt to feel anything through the damaged nerves. Her cheeks were damp, but that mattered less than the almost out of place triumph that sat in her chest from finally,  _ finally _ getting revenge for her family and the small orphan girl that Bor had left behind.

 

Wandering through the streets back to their home, Eira and Jamie held hands and softly discussed the things lovers discuss, such as their marriage, their future, what would become of them as they continued through the scorched city.

 

In the palace, Eleanor pushed open a door and was hit in the face with the scent of honeysuckle as she stared at the flung open closet with dresses that matched her favorite color, the messy bed, and the strap of leather that poked out from underneath the bed. Bending over, she pulled out the beaten leather satchel from all those months ago, opened the flap, and pulled out the small painting. The painting she had made. Clasping her hand over her mouth, Eleanor let her eyes screw shut as tears slid down her cheeks.

 

Here in Asgard where the story had begun, a chapter of numerous lives slowly drew to a close.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder: PLEASE read tomorrow's note from me, it's really important that y'all read it.


	32. AUTHOR’S NOTE

hey guys! I know I said this would come out yesterday, but the reason I’m writing this actually prevented this from coming out yesterday! So. 

Over the course of writing this fic, last April, I quickly developed dehabilitating pain all over my body: my hands, my back, all of my joints, my face, you name it. If it’s on my body, it hurts. This issue has kept up and has been diagnosed as a chronic pain syndrome where basically, my nerves overreact all the time to the point where gentle touches can cause searing, unbearable pain. I haven’t ended up in a wheelchair yet, and I’m still going to school, but that’s about the extent of what I can do. That’s part of the reason the updates on this have been so spotty: I’m constantly going to doctors and medical treatments, and a couple of times I’ve had to skip school to drive to hospitals to have other doctors look at me. 

You can probably see where this is going!

I’ve started the next book in this series. I’m roughly I think 13-14 chapters in, and that took me about six months. And I really want to share it with all of you. But because of this new disability I have to live with, typing is difficult, and with my new set of constant tremors in my hands, it’s become even harder for me. 

I want to keep sharing this story with all of you, but I need to know how long you’re willing to wait. I have an epilogue written for this that provides a segue into the second book, but if necessary, I can edit it down, and end it here, with a happy ending, and occasionally give you all oneshots with Eleanor, reader, and Loki. I think no matter what y’all say, I’m going to give you a happy ending here, and simply move the part that starts the idea of a second book to the second book, because while the first part of this took me 6 months, this could take me a while. And I want you all to have a complete story while you wait. Please talk to me about this in the comments, I need to hear from y’all to inform my decision on this.

\- bushel


	33. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry for the wait. a lot of stuff happened. but it's here now.

When Loki rolled over in the middle of the night and found the other half of the bed empty, she was sitting on the floor next to the balcony carefully stitching away with her wings slightly spread behind her. 

She had kept the stockpile of her feathers from the past molting seasons tucked underneath the bed for ages, but it hadn't been until this moment that she had allowed him to watch. The bottom of the black fabric was already lined with feathers, ones he recognized as the black and white feathers that comprised the tips of her wings. 

She worked slowly. Puncturing the quill of a feather with her needle, pulling the thread through before she stitched it into the black fabric that comprised the body of the cape. As she lifted her head to brush her hair out of her face, she caught Loki's gaze and her expression turned sheepish.

"You're awake." He smiled at her statement, sliding out of bed and onto the floor before moving across the floor to sit next to her. A soft wind blew in from the balcony, ruffling her feathers in the soft darkness.

“What woke you up?” She bit her lower lip, slowly stitching on another feather to the cape before she answered.

“Another nightmare.” She set down her needle, running her hand over the feathers and straightening them out as she spoke. “About Valencia.” she pushed her face against his shoulder, taking a deep breath. “And how she almost killed me.” Loki’s face softened, and he gently ran a hand over her hair with a low hum.

“You’re safe,” he gently soothed, noting how her hands shook slightly. “She’s locked up. And we are under orders from your queen to kill her should she pose a threat to anyone.” she nodded, taking a deep, shaking breath.

“How long ago was the battle?” Loki thought for a moment, slipping his hand into her hair and gently rubbing her scalp.

“It has to have been at least a year. The burns on your feet have fully healed,” he murmured, his eyes drifting to her wings. “Your cut feathers have fallen, and your wings are fully functional now,” he continued. “The cut on your shoulder is better, your hip too, and the city is halfway rebuilt.” She nodded, pulling her face away from his shoulder and picking her needle back up.

“Thank you, snake,” she murmured as she began to stitch another feather onto the fabric of the cape.

“Darling,” he carefully began, feeling his heart gain sturdy footing as he reached into his pocket dimension and pulled out a small box. “Have you ever considered us getting married?” She quickly nodded, not looking up from her stitching.

“Of course.” He carefully reached across her body and brought her left hand towards him as he cracked open the box and pulled out a small, silver snake ring that he slid onto her ring finger.

“Would you like for us to?” She lifted her gaze to look at the ring, her eyes going wide as she dropped the needle and began twisting the ring around her finger.

“Here’s the thing,” she murmured, burying her face in her hands. “The cape – traditionally, at least – that’s a-a proposal.” A smile started on his face, slowly growing before he began to softly laugh, pulling her into a hug and burying his face into her shoulder.

“Oh darling,” he laughed. “When were you going to tell me?” she nervously chuckled, hiding her face in his chest.

“When I finished.” He pulled away just enough to quickly kiss her, a smile pulling at his cheeks and making his face hurt. “I suppose this is when we say yes?” He nodded.

“Yes, this is when I say that I would be glad to take you as my wife,” he chuckled.

“And I would be glad to take you as my spouse,” she softly returned. “Can we get married the day I finish the cape?” He pulled back a little, his arms still wrapped around her waist.

“Of course, darling. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope that someday i get to see y'all on my work again! i hope that i can work on making this story complete! in the meantime i am doing little bits of writing, but it's mostly for critical role tbh, i don't know if you guys are interested in that
> 
> but it was nice going on this journey with all of you!
> 
> i love you all so much! until we meet again~


End file.
